[lenjan]

Next month will be the last time I see my pdoc of 9 years. I was able to drive in and keep seeing him while I was living with my sister, but I can't afford to take an entire day off now for a drive and a 20-minute visit. I'm going to have to find someone here.

9 years is a long time! I'd like to give him a little something to remember me by, but I don't know what it might be. It was a snap to figure out stuff for my T, because we talked a lot more about more personal stuff. All I know about my pdoc's hobbies is that he likes to collect seashells (not too many of those in western Wisconsin) and he likes to go digging for interesting rocks and make stuff from them, polish them up and stuff. He made jewelry for all the women in his family last Christmas, and when he came to see me in the hospital he brought me a really pretty polished rock to use as a "worry stone." (It works! It's really soothing to rub, and it's cheaper than Xanax. )

That's not very much to go on! Anybody got ideas?

thanks!

CB

[(JD)]

Well,why not a bookstore gift card if you can not find anything else. Have you surfed the net for retail shells???

[lenjan]

oh good grief, is there no END to what can be obtained online?!

Who knew you could buy seashells online?!?!?!

I did find a place, Sky. I'll think about it. I have a while yet. I'd like to do something more personal than a gift card, though.

[(JD)]

9 years is a long time. I'm sure this must be hard for you and you will miss him.

What about something inspirational or that shows your gratitude? Maybe something framed to hang in his office?

My T has a framed seascape with "Relax" written in a flowing, relaxing font across the bottom.

Or, at an art fest recently, I saw a framed pic that had at the side "It is okay to look at the past, and at the future.... just don't stare! Live NOW!"

Good luck and let us know what you find!

ECHOES

[Sarah116]

Awww very cute cheaper than Xanax!, and Awwwwww so sweet of your Pdoc! Make him a card with shells and rocks background with some sort of poem about everything he does for you or how much you appreciate this. - Just an idea

[Sarah116]

Oh and how sad and hard, leaving someone so special for 9 years! I know how it feels to loose a Pdoc. it is not a very nice feeling!

[January]

Candy,

Surf for a store like Natural Wonders. They have magnificent stones. They come in halves and have crystalization in the middle. Some of the nicest are amethysts. It would be perfect!!!

Jan

[lenjan]

I'm bringing this back up because Friday afternoon is the last time I will see my pdoc of nearly a decade, and it is getting to me in a bad, bad way. I am not doing well at all right now, and I can't see the pdoc I've chosen in my new city until after New Year's. I called to see if I could get in earlier, because I seem to be in pretty much permanent crisis mode, but they said because I was a new patient there was nothing they could do.

I don't have a T either, and haven't since April, and that isn't helping things either.

I'm having a hard time with the hard reality of the fact that I'm really, truly "gone" from my hometown. I've spent most of this year angling to get back there, and then I got a job elsewhere that I couldn't turn down. It's bad enough having to adjust to a new city without having to give up my old support system, too! Going in for pdoc appts. has given me a reason to go back there every couple of months and see my friends, etc. So now what? I moved from a city of 550,000 to one of 13,000 and it's a whole lot harder to make friends in an itty-bitty town with nothing to do. I miss my friends, I miss my church, ... hell, I miss my old life, even though this "new" one isn't really all that bad.

And since I first posted this, I haven't come up with any ideas for a parting gift, either. The place Jan suggested doesn't have a website, and there aren't any here (there aren't any ANYTHINGS here ).



Candy

You write so how about a poem or paragraph about the time you both have spent together then frame it. Its personal and therapists love knowing what their time means to their clients.

My therapy agency runs a depression management group. one of the things the "graduating" clients do is buys a candle to light the way for the next person coming in. Maybe you can buy her a nice scented candle and write a poem to go with it.

[withit]

I think a personal note, written from the heart, is very much appreciated. I have done so on two occasions, and both times my t expressed deep appreciation for the personal experession of thanks.

[(JD)]

Ok... first let me address the crises issue? Please speak with the doc Friday about being allowed to call or email him in the next weeks (between docs.) Holidays are tough enough without being alone in a new town and all

Now, it's Sunday... maybe you could buy something online at QVC (they have some nifty guy electronics and gadget stuff) and have it shipped overnight? OR you can have it sent to his office, that way even if it didn't arrive in time for your appt, he would still get it by holiday? MAYBE if you send it after your appt, he would CALL YOU to say thanks? hint hint hint

I think with the new town, 13,000 isn't so bad... but you have to think like the locals... bowling alley's snack shops, men's baseball/tag football games, High school holiday play... to begin to be with and be seen... and start up conversations. Do what you can (((((hugs)))))))))

((candy))

I'm sorry; this is so hard. It is mourning and that is hard to get through. You are having to mourn this while still mourning moving away from your town. It will get better. And you can still go to your home town... just because you want to.

What about writing a personal note to him, telling him how he has helped you, what you are grateful for that he brought to your life or helped you with. Let him know what impact he has made on your life.

You could choose a beautiful card to write it on or you could purchase a beautiful picture/photo that makes you think of him and attach your card/note to the back of it.

ECHOES

[biiv]

Im sorry you re feeling in crisis at the moment Candy. please listen to Echoes and see if you can keep contact with your pdoc over the holidays until you get settled with the new one. i know how hard it can be to have a lot of change all at the same time. its exhausting holding it all together if nothing else. try to make some time for yourself every day to just focus on you and on relaxing. maybe have some fun finding/making a new spot that can be just yours to shut the world out for even just 20 minutes or half an hour a day?
i also like the idea of giving your pdoc a poem or personal note of some sort. i think it would be very touching.
i wish you strength and peace during this stressful time.
take care
biiv

[lenjan]

Thanks for all the suggestions, everyone. I am really not doing well at all. I called to get on the cancellation list for the pdoc I'll be seeing here. I really need to call the guy I'm leaving, but I can't -- my officemate doesn't know I'm mental, and even if I call him on my cell, out in the hallway you can hear everything anyway.

I've written him a couple of heartfelt notes before, but I suppose another one can't hurt! :-) I don't have a lot of money to spend on something.

Here's hoping I last till Friday.

Candy

[lenjan]

Well, I got part of this solved, anyway. For all of you who offered gift suggestions, here's what I finally did:

gift for pdoc

Hopefully it gets here before I have to leave Friday!

The feeling-crazy part, that I haven't solved yet. But at least this is out of the way!

CB

[(JD)]

OH that's kewl..yes I remember before when you said he collected shells!

I think the crazy feelings are normal... it's tough enough when you say goodbye because you don't need them anymore... when you DO but can't see them, that has to be so conflicting!

What a great idea! I'm sure he will appreciate it very much.

I'm glad you feel better now that you chosen a gift.

Time to turn your attention to you and a gift of time and caring for yourself and doing things you can to feel better.

((CB))

ECHOES

[biiv]

((((((((((((((((((((candybear)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) if you would like hugs.
and thats a beautiful present.