T Has A Sex Life?

I must be weird. I find comfort in thinking my T probably has a sex life. I imagine it a as very human experience and it doesn't weird me out.

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I would hate to feel that way about my Therapist.

Sex is a biological function like eating or drinking, so to some extent a t would have one like anyone else. What that entails is another story but there most likely is something.

Sad....many people have no problem thinking & allowing porn into their lives but have problems with this....something that is a very natural part of living & having a marriage relationship ( for those who choose to, out side of marriage but still in a relationship).

Exactly my current Individual Therapist as well as a former Group Therapist of mine are both married and have children so I assume that they have some type of sex life.

I think it really stems from the fact that some of us (myself included sometimes) think that our Therapist only belongs to us and hate to think of them being intimate with someone else. I can remember when I was doing some research on a former Individual Therapist of mine and I ended up finding a photo of her with another guy and I got very very jealous.

Sorry, but I have to say this even though I know I will be attacked: not having a sex life (whether one is in a r/s or not) does not equal unhappiness or unhealthiness. I agree that a majority of people probably have sex at some point in their life, and that for many people it is a net positive, but that does not mean that any specific adult has a current sex life, that having one makes them happy, or that not having one makes them unhappy.

People are different and we can't know anything about an individual even if we do know something about a population.

This has nothing to do with jealousy of my T - I don't wonder about anybody's sex life.

I do agree that our T's religious lives are also none of our business, and nothing I want to know about.

Mine has not actually talked about it, but she's said stuff like "sex is nice" and "penises are kinda scary except for the one I'm comfortable with" and it was kinda BLECH. Awkward and uncomfortable.

I kinda got her back for scarring me.
Her: "I really have to pee"
Me: "nice. I do too, but not yet"
Her: "what?"
Me: "I like to piss. A lot"
Her: "it is nice I guess"
Me: "No I mean I like to hold my bladder for as long as physically possible and then use the bathroom because I find it extremely arousing"
Her: "oh"
Her: "well now going to the bathroom will be kinda uncomfortable for me"
Me: "good"
Her: "you're such a little ****"
Me: "I try"

I would have felt extremely uncomfortable with a T saying anything like that, too. To me it seems inappropriate.

It was very uncomfortable but it's whatever. I could tell her that it made me uncomfortable but I do not want to bring it up again because I don't think she'd think it was inappropriate. She'd say that I should be more comfortable with sex but not in an accusatory way. Maybe she'd say that society is too uncomfortable with sex or something like that. And that I am very sexually messed up for lack of a better yet concise phrase.

Our boundaries are very scattered in general.

It's how I'm choosing to think to be able to be honest these days.

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0MG, that would be like wondering about my parents doing it....don't want to go there.

Ew ... my T has kids and you know ... I don't want to know how they happened.

Ew ... just ... ew.

Now going to the bathroom is going to be uncomfortable for me too! Dang it!

Their sex life may be none of our business, however I think it's quite natural to think about it.

I used to think about my T having sex with her boyfriend/husband quite often. What positions did she like?, how big was his penis? did he make orgasm? Was she sexually satisfied? Did she have any roleplay fantasy? Did she like to dress up? Did she like to give good head?

These were all question I wish I could have asked her but as a man, how could I ask her these question?

I agree with this. I was also thrown reading that having a sex life is a sign of good mental health. The assumption and subsequent implication is that those who don't, are to be labelled as un-healthy?! There are myriad reasons why one might not indulge (or might not even want to) in sex. Likewise, many people lead happy and fulfilled lives without finding it necessary to have sex, does this mean they aren't healthy as well? Because they don't conform to a norm or to some preconceived notion?

Really, who is anyone to judge what makes any one person healthy (or not) by not conforming to the majority. Live and let live, I say.

Ha, of course they are as likely as anyone else to have a sex life!

I hadn't really thought about it, apart from vaguely assuming she must have one as she has always mentioned having boyfriends, and then one day she made a few comments about sex she had had and I just sort of thought 'oh'. I was surprised that she mentioned personal things about sex. But therapists are as human as us all, so why not I guess?

T's are obsessed with sex? Mine has never brought it up. But then neither have I. (I would turn multiple shades of red).

I don't think there's anything unusual about saying 'sex is nice' (it is ) but I'm surprised she said penises are kinda scary? What? Why?

No, there is nothing unusual about saying that (except that in my experience it's not exactly a topic one tends to discuss) but therapy is not small talk, and I don't think a T should make any kind of subjective evaluation/judgmental statement about something as intimate as sex. Not unless they know the client very well and know what the client's own opinion is. It was clearly not appropriate for this T to say that in this situation.

I can't remember how Growlithing said the conversation arose? Maybe they were talking around the issue?

I would actually disagree with what you say re a T should not state their personal opinion about something as intimate as sex - I think context is crucial. The comment 'sex is nice' could be massively insensitive in a vast range of particular contexts, but in general I think it is a largely healthy attitude to promote - that consenting sex between two or more willing partners is a positive part of adult life.

I would almost liken it to food - in general I think food is nice, eating is pleasurable, I think this is a healthy attitude, but in many circumstances on the complicated axis of disordered eating it could be damaging or unhelpful to make very general remarks like 'eating is nice' without further discussion.

Well, the ts that are my tutors are always harping in about how important it is to be comfortable talking about sex and with our bodies. They talk about all kinds of sexual issues that clients bring to them

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But I think you do know how they happened

Also my T is a sexual addiction therapist. So that's why I've always wondered especially what its like to talk about such issues with T face to face. I'm still young so i guess I'm not mature yet but that would freak me out if my T and I only talked about sex.

I can see why it would bring curiosity. If you are feeling brave, it might be an interesting discussion to have.

Yes, context is absolutely crucial. I have no opinion on the general healthiness of sex and it's not my place to comment on that. No doubt you are correct.

However, growlithing said that "it was kinda BLECH. Awkward and uncomfortable" and my interpretation of that was that it was inappropriate in the context of that conversation and that therapy relationship at that particular time.