Seeing T in a social situation- How would you feel?

As well as working privately, my T also works for a therapy group in a nearby town.
Recently this therapy group held a day for anyone to come along and enjoy some Meditation.
My T recommended that I try it, which I did, and really enjoyed!

They are holding these meditation days every 6 weeks and I plan to go to them.
However, my T asked me if I would be comfortable if she also attended.
I am not sure.
My first reaction was to say "No, I wouldn't like it if you were there, please don't go to it"...but I feel bad that my being there would stop her from going.

Would you be OK with seeing your T outside of therapy?

It would be okay with me, but I've been through this kind of situation before. My 2nd therapist was the pastor at my church, so we saw each other in a vast array of circumstances: services, classes, picnics, parties, we even co-taught a class. It wasn't really a problem for me because I was used to seeing him constantly even before I started therapy with him. I had no problem separating my pastor from my therapist because I was used to seeing him in a variety of settings.

It really comes down to what you feel about it. Can you separate therapy T from social T? That's really what it comes down to. She's asking your opinion, so don't feel hesitant to give her your honest answer.

I haven't been in a situation like that since I was a teenager, but I felt quite self-conscious when I was. Now that I'm older, well.... I'd probably still feel distracted by her presence, would take more for me to focus on the presentation if I was in close proximity to her but not interacting with her. I'd just find it awkward. If it was a huge conference (hundreds), it would be much easier for me than a relatively small gathering (a dozen).

The last time I went there were just about 11 of us. I think that is the same number that they are aiming for (approximately) every time. So quite small really.

Due to the therapy training offer being scarce in our community, my T and I sometimes attend professional events together. Sometimes it's been difficult, but for the most part it's made me feel more comfortable and safe in the therapeutic relationship.

I feel that I wouldn't be able to relax I suppose.
For example- My T knows (from what I have told her and what we have discussed) that I am very bad at being in social situations where I have to chat to people. I cannot for the life of me just chat and make conversation. I much prefer to be alone.
On the last 'day' that I went to, at lunchtime and in the 10min break that we had, I actually got chatting to a few people. I felt very awkward about it and there were times where I was in a different room from everyone as I just needed some space. I don't know how my T would react to that.

I would not want to see the one therapist at a social function. The second therapist would not really bother me but I would not interact with her other than perhaps a nod of hello or something.

This would make it much easier for me but with the group being so small (and the therapists doing the meditation knowing that she is my T) I think this would just draw attention to the fact that I am 'blanking' her.

Well, given how intimate the gathering is, and the personal nature of the work, too, it certainly seems more than reasonable to me for you to give your therapist your honest answer to her question. Remember, you will not be controlling her behavior, just giving her authentic information she asked for, and then she will decide what she wishes to do. I really don't think you're at all out of line or unreasonable to be feeling uncomfortable about the situation.

I suppose the alternative is to challenge yourself to see someone you compartmentalize in your life in a more full way, but... that's a challenge not everyone would want to take up!

If it was a small group and someone else knew that one of the others was the therapist I see, I would not like that at all.

I have already told her that I don't want her to go, but I feel really selfish.
She recommended this to me as its something she enjoys and finds helpful in her life...and along I come and say she cant go because I too enjoy it.

I would really like to be able to say 'yes' as I feel to say otherwise would be really selfish.

Are there no other groups of this sort available?

But you're not saying she can not go, and you are not able to prevent her from going. I know you feel you're imposing, because of the circumstances, but she is choosing what she thinks is best. It's ok. Actually... my therapist always seems kinda pleased with me when I fess up to things like this, haha, I think they have an inkling of our feelings, or can completely understand how such things are awkward, so.... while she may defer this opportunity, perhaps she feels rewarded by your honesty. (Crosses fingers. )

No, unfortunately not. I (and my T) live in a very rural area so this is the only thing of this sort in our area.

I have seen her out and about in town etc before, and that was fine. I said 'Hi' and moved on, but this is so different to that.

When I was in group therapy we talked about maybe meeting at a social place (such a bowling alley) for a session but we ended up terminating (due to my ongoing issues with the other person in the group) before we got anywhere close to planning anything.

I would think that it might actually be helpful for your therapy. Because meditation and mindfulness can be used in conjunction with you therapeutic goals, maybe it's a good idea! She could also see for herself how you interact with other people and then could help you with that.

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Truthfully? I wouldn't like it, but i'd feel like i couldn't prevent her from going so i'd probably say i was fine with it.

Would it be easier to meet her outside and go in together? That way it wouldn't feel like you were acting like you didn't know one another and it could take away the awkwardness of "who will say hello first? How should i act around her? etc etc.

Arrgghh, I hate that thought! I know you are right, but it would just be so embarrassing! Like she knows already, why does she have to see it

I am not sure about that...it kind of feels too 'parental' for me if that makes any sense?

Well, I would go and sit somewhere that she is not in my direct line of vision. People often close their eyes in meditation, or focus on some visual thing, and do not interact with others. I can't see why it should be a problem, once you get over your initial discomfort, which is all about you and nothing to do with any actual actions of the T, from what I can tell. It would be a good thing to get over, one of those inevitable "hindrances" in meditation that end up strengthening you when you vanquish them.

Crossing my Fingers here too!

I feel like I may have to have a really long talk with her about this situation.
I can imagine it being very awkward when we see each other for the first time there.
It would also be strange to see her outside the therapy room. Maybe she'll disappear in a puff of smoke once she crosses the threshold of the therapy room because she doesn't actually exist?

On the one hand I would love it. She has encouraged me so much. I think I would feel inspired with her just being there. On the other hand, I think I would feel self conscious with her there, like maybe she would be sneaking peaks at me.

I don't think she would be sneaking any peaks at me, I would be more likely to sneak peaks at her
I think I would definitely feel more self-conscious with her there. But I wonder if its something I would get used to?

The room isn't a big room and the only place that she could sit if not in my direct eye line is right next to me.
We all sit in a circle.

And you have to meditate with eyes open? That seems odd and makes it tougher.

It's not the actual meditation portion of the day that I am most worried about, its the social times in between. Like the 10 minute breaks and the 30 minutes for lunch, and also the chatting time before we get started.

I actually think the 'eyes closed time' will be easy.