Couch 74

Ready I hope you have went inside now, get a good nights rest.

Yes SD W and I are getting along much better and Im not sure therapy will be attempted by me again anytime soon. The schedule is nuts an its making me nuts, but I feel a solution will present itself any-day now and no matter what , it will be better then my current tri-city arrangement.

Well, he is allowing you to share his house.

Now I really feel like a couch veteran. I had the last post on couch 73.

As always, I am highly entertained by your humor!

76 Trombones?

After last week's session, I posted this to the Couch:

Today's session started something like this (minus a lot of hesitation and false starts from me) :
Mast: I have a problem that I need to bring up, about something that happened here last week.
T (interestedly) : Ok.
Mast: Do you remember what we were talking about?
T: We discussed a number of things... one thing that I was going to mention, is that I looked at my notes afterwards and discovered that you had in fact told me about [x], and it is not the sort of thing I would normally have forgotten, so it is interesting that I did."

***ackworthiness warning for stopdog***

T

***end ackworthiness***

He had a very interesting explanation to why he had forgotten it, or at least one reason why he had done so, which gave me some extra insight. It had nothing to do with me being uninteresting. We had a really good discussion.

I feel a bit sheepish being all joyful and relieved all over the couch when I know lots of people are hurting and suffering, but I can't really mention this to anybody else...

Oh, and do me a favour, please? The next time I voice doubts about my T's genuine interest in my well-being, please apply a large trout to my head. You may sing about Finland* while doing so, but it is not mandatory. Thank you.

*Spamalot reference

Mast....congratulations on your bravery to start the conversation! I am glad you could discuss is with your T

I dont want to go tomorrow. I need to talk about how hurt I feel having been told that 50 minutes with her is "a luxury" but I just dont see the point. It is obvious I am just her job and mean nothing more. I feel bad for wanting/needing more. Please dont beat me up for saying this. I know its stupid. I am stupid and too needy. I dont deserve anything.

Are you thinking that you don't deserve luxuries?

Did you see the giant rat, Mastodon?

Yes I guess so - basically I think I don't deserve her time (although I do pay her) but every session ends bang on 50 minutes and I feel I need longer sessions and more support between sessions. I have been seeing her for a year and I feel worse now than when I started seeing her. I feel I need her too much. I am just a mess - I feel so hurt by everything. I am too sensitive I think. What she said about her focussing on me for 50 minutes being a luxury many people would love has really hurt me and I can't forget it. How do I move forward? Should I bring it up with her tomorrow?

I was never really a sports fan until I married my husband. He is a huge sports fan and he is loyal the the home teams. Then I had 2 teenage boys who are even bigger fans then hubby. So it is more "if you can't beat them, then join them"

I don't know, Aaa. I am, frankly, baffled at a T who characterizes their own job as "a luxury", especially when it is done in a way that shames the client. I just don't get it.

I do not think that you are too sensitive, stupid, or too needy. You have needs, because you are a human, and humans have needs. You have the right to have your needs met, and your T is a professional whose job it is to help you to where you can get those needs met, and to some extent it is also her job to meet those needs in the meantime. That is my firm conviction. Different clients have different needs, but it is not the T's job to classify those as more or less worthy - your 50 minutes are yours. And you are showing a lot of strength to be dealing with your issues by going to see her.

I kinda want to slap your T.

Thank you, Mast. It is good to hear your reaction. I was shocked that she would actually say that to me even if she thought it!
I don't want to go back tomorrow in many ways although I don't want to give up and I think i really need support as so much is going on with me right now.
I just feel a massive burden and too needy and I hate feeling this way.
Thank you for your support - it means a lot.

Not in the flesh, no. I heard about it in a roundabout way afterwards, and saw pictures - the actual news reporting when it happened was apparently all in tabloids I've made a conscious decision to stay away from, so I was unaware of it until a couple of days later.

Mast glad to hear about the conversation with your t! I am pretty sure he is a keeper!

The conversation that had to happen happened today. T and I discussed my aversion to gynaecologists. It was a real struggle but my T took it slow and looked genuinely worried when asking some questions but he said it was good as it was start to breaking the taboo about the subject.

Congrats to Mast on her conversation with her T, we both deserve Wiki points or something.
Has anyone heard from Wiki or Squirrel or MUE or Tinyrabbit even?

Now I can't seem to stop eating cheese and crackers. Trip to the moon in order, eh Grommitt?

Yum - my favourite! (Wallace)

Now I have the Wallace & Gromit tune stuck in my head. "Dum da-da dum da-da da-daaaa, dee dee dee DUM dee dee dee daaaah!"

And well done BPA for having that conversation!

I don't know Wallace & Gromet.

Nice new couch, SD, thanks!

I'm a tad bit out of it today, but Happy Tuesday everyone.

For anybody who wants to know what being Swedish is like. All those terms are real (though the explanations are facetious, of course - facetious, but not entirely wrong.)

. With hugs.

It sounds like being an academic to me. Not the terms but certainly the descriptions.

spent most of the night in the animal er with a cat who cant pee. 3,000 they have a catheter in and bladder drained and we will see in the net 2 days id he can come home