My Ex Therapist invited Me...

unaluna · Apr 04, 2014, 03:54 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by tametc

Clear, concise definitions, as usual.

However, the plural of antidote can also have another, entirely different meaning. When your mother's sister thinks you're the most marvelous child in the world, and she lavishes you with affection and gifts, that is known as "antidotes".

Why is there not a snorting smilie??!

Bipolarchic14 · Apr 04, 2014, 04:44 PM

Out of curiosity is your therapist licensed like a lcsw or psychologist? I know not every therapist who practices is.

Apr 04, 2014, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MASIMO

So my STB Ex T and I have agreed to keep in contact after he retires.
When we were discussing boundaries, he made the comment I found interesting,
he said he would treat me with "fear and respect" and asked the same from me.
And that he hopes the jam in the middle of our lives doesn't become affected.
I keep thinking about this comment and I'm not sure exactly how to interpret it.

Any thoughts?

To me, it sounds like he is speaking about a casual friendship, not BFF, i.e. he's not your therapist anymore. I'm happy for you that he said yes, and that it works out for the both of you.

Apr 04, 2014, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by hankster

Why is there not a snorting smilie??!

You and tametc crack me up. Thank you, both of you.

GTGT

Apr 04, 2014, 09:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bipolarchic14

Out of curiosity is your therapist licensed like a lcsw or psychologist? I know not every therapist who practices is.

My former therapist is a LMFT - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

AllyIsHopeful · Apr 04, 2014, 10:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

My former therapist is a LMFT - Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist.

This is interesting to know. I've generally felt like the MFT's are more apt to have a stronger/closer relationship with clients when there's a deep connection. The psychologist and SW I saw in the past were compassionate and empathetic but it felt like a strictly clinical relationship. My current T is an MFT and it is so different and even though there's a 20 year age difference I genuinely feel she will stay in my life once we terminate.

I wish there was a way to do a study on this. lol I find it so interesting.

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Lauliza · Apr 04, 2014, 10:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Goingtogetthere

"The reality is that things can go wrong more often than not, and policies are created based on that fact."
That statement contradicts the APA guidelines. I was not generalizing, I was merely pointing out that these relationships do exist. And as I explained in a subsequent post, no big deal, meant it was a regular relationship to me, no different than any of my other friendships.

I also want to point out I was in therapy for humungous attachment issues that has since been resolved. Labeling stereotypes cause more harm than good. Who can or cannot have these after therapy relationships shouldn't be based on labels. Labels do more harm than good. Remember it is still taboo to - Love Your Client, let alone tell them you love them, especially if you have attachment issues or are BPD.

I'm not talking about your relationship in particular, you both have a mutual understanding and want to socialize and that's great. I was just saying that many Ts believe it's inappropriate to have even a platonic relationship after therapy ends and wouldn't consider it. There is still a power differential , because often, our t knows more about us than those dearest to us. Some clients tell them things they'd never dream of telling anyone we actually socialize with. So that in itself and that puts them in a different category.

I didn't mean to stereotype those with attachment issues, I have them myself. If you've resolved them then its not an issue for you and that's fine. but many people don't resolve them and that can be a problem. Yes I am generalizing but it is not an unreaonable assumption. Once ts really know a client things can change. I just dont believe it is good to create a fantasy based in the hope of a future friendship because thats not what therapy is for. If it happens it happens, but it shouldn't be presented as the norm.

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