[Jordy]

I've never thought I would be one to start a termination thread, but the way today's session went I must say I'm a bit worried. So basically I told T that I had a job interview last week and another one coming up soon. Both for jobs I'd be really interested in and I'm confident I will get at least one offer. As expected she was really happy for me.
Then we spent the rest of the session, a good half hour, talking about our horses. This did help me because T was the first person to give me her honest opinion about my horse since the vet told me he has soft tissue issues in his foot. While everyone tries to cheer me up, she agreed with me that this is not good and considering his other health issues I will probably have to put him down sometime in the future. She really helped me feel less guilty about this happenning to him, and reassured me that I will know when the time has come. But part of me wonders if I really need to see a T for this kind of stuff...

Then when it was time to schedule my next session, she asked if I was ok with every 4 weeks as I'm so stable at the moment and doing well. I must admit it was quite logical and I know it shouldn't be an issue. I'll see her every week for group anyway and if anything major comes up I can call her.
But what I worry about is whether she wants this do be a permanent thing until termination or if it's only temporary because there's not much we can work on until I have moved out. She doesn't want to work on my CSA until I'm out of the place it all happenned in, and we can't do much for my eating disorder until I have to cook myself as this is what I struggle with.

I guess once we start working on these things we'llgo back to weekly or biweekly session, but right now I'm freaking out a bit because I'm not sure and forgot to ask...

[Mike_J]

I don't think you are going to be terminated by your therapist. I have the same fears (all too often) but it seems that while you are "stable" now you still have a lot of work to do.

Try not to worry too much and talk to her about it on your next visit.

[Jordy]

thanks for reassuring me.... to be honest I doubt she's terminating me, but part of me can't help being scared...

[Perna]

Originally Posted by Jordy

But what I worry about is whether she wants this do be a permanent thing until termination or if it's only temporary because there's not much we can work on until I have moved out.

But, you haven't set a termination date have you? And you know you have all that extra/hard stuff to work on when you move out so you know that will take awhile. I'd be inclined to think it was only temporary or, maybe you will be able to not have to see her so often working on the stuff after you move out, you'd have more time for your life, etc. I would not worry about the termination yet though.

My T first suggested spacing out our sessions a few years ago when I was showing more stability. Notice I said several years ago. We take it on an as needed basis now. When doing well, I go weeks or even months without a session and am just fine. If I'm not doing so well, I schedule more closely together. It works beautifully because there is no termination; there is simply an adjustment based on my need.

[Jordy]

I think you both are right, she didn't mention termination at all. Actually she told me quite a few times that she'll stick with me no matter what, and that when I move out we'll have some things to work through... I guess my reaction is only because I didn't expect her to suggest monthly session even though it makes sense.

[Crescent Moon]

Ask her!

In the meantime, based on what you said, I'll bet she's offering you every 4 weeks because you are stable, but if something knocked you down she'd change that right away.

My therapist told me early on that she'd know I was getting better when I got too busy for her

[Wren_]

it doesn't sound like termination is on the cards at all going on all the different things the two of you have lined up when various things fall into place; are you able to ask your T at all before the next session (if that's in four weeks) to get some kind of reassurance?

glad your T was excited about your job news have you heard any more back on the job interview you mentioned here the other day yet?

[AllyIsHopeful]

I don't think you have anything to worry about. It's okay to experience phases of feeling good and capable of walking on your own. Sounds to me like your Therapist is just wanting you to learn what those moments feel like so you could keep your independence and feel empowered. Seeing her once a month will be good for checking in and holding on to that connection for when you are ready for the next phase of therapy and it is time to start tackling other stuff. It never hurts to double check and bring up these concerns with your Therapist, next time you see her.

[Jordy]

Originally Posted by tigergirl

it doesn't sound like termination is on the cards at all going on all the different things the two of you have lined up when various things fall into place; are you able to ask your T at all before the next session (if that's in four weeks) to get some kind of reassurance?

glad your T was excited about your job news have you heard any more back on the job interview you mentioned here the other day yet?

next session is in 4 weeks, but on may 5th we'll start weekly group again (had a break for easter as quite a few of the group were away, and she's on vacation next week). I probably could ask her after group, but doubt I will. It's the kind ouf things I always back out last minute...

and no, I haven't heard back from the job yet, but I'm ok with that as I have another one in two weeks for a job I'd like even more.

[Jordy]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

I don't think you have anything to worry about. It's okay to experience phases of feeling good and capable of walking on your own. Sounds to me like your Therapist is just wanting you to learn what those moments feel like so you could keep your independence and feel empowered. Seeing her once a month will be good for checking in and holding on to that connection for when you are ready for the next phase of therapy and it is time to start tackling other stuff. It never hurts to double check and bring up these concerns with your Therapist, next time you see her.

Thanks for reassuring me. I think part of my reaction is because I tend to believe that if I'm feeling good it means I was never abused, and feeling bad kind of keeps the abuse real to me. I know that's not how I should feel, but sometimes I can't help it... and I'm a bit scared to lose my T if ever feel good enough to live without her help...