Couch 75

Nome Alaska.

Maybe I'm deluding myself, But my heart tells me Madame T is just as distressed as I am at the failure of our relationship, and just as powerless to save it.

Eleven a.m. on the first day of the four-day weekend and I want to jump off a cliff, or at least go off into the wilderness and grow a beard and become a hermit. This does not bode well for the summer.

Oh its not over

Hey i have a four day weekend too! I had watermelon and French sheeps milk feta cheese for the first part of my breakfast, then some grilled sesame tofu (texture and taste of egg whites - yum!) and a slice of sourdough sprouted grain bread. And having some coffee now. I think this is going to be my breakfast for the rest of my life, it is so delicious. I had this as a late night snack last night because i ate only gelato for dinner around 5 pm so i planned to have it again for breakfast. I dont usually plan stuff like that. I think i need to. When i was living at my mothers, several times i dreamed i had a beard. It was disturbing!

The power is all yours. Very wizard of oz, but it always has been.

See T in a couple hours, running on maybe 2 hours sleep, crying and hoping against hope that I don't shut down like I always do. I could use a good cry, but I never managed it before so why should today be any different...

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Ike- I know this is late, but I just wanted to say sorry for your loss. I hope you are holding up as well as can be expected.

Yeah I know it is tough to get that little sleep in a night, I slept fairly well last night but I still feel tired today for some reason.

I hope your session goes well.

And now my stomach starts. If my mind can't distract me by shutting down, my tummy'll take over by making sure I have to run to the bathroom if I don't get a handle on myself... Gah! How am I ever going to get through this s***!

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I don't know what to say...

How would you live if you didn't have to work? Use your long weekend to practice!

What a nightmare!

H told me a really good joke last night:
A lawyer, a policeman, and an academic are discussing whether it is better to be married or have a temporary relationship. "A spouse is better - you get stability", says the lawyer. "No, a girlfriend is better, I don't want to be shackled to the same person", says the policeman. The academic says: "I have both. I tell my wife I'm going to spend the night with my girlfriend, and my girlfriend that I'm spending the night with my wife, and then I get to work all night."

I thought it was brilliant!

Hihi, I got it but I am not so sure if it's a joke or just the reality I also have a long weekend - today I worked (and still am working) from home, tomorrow I have to go to work because I have an important meeting, and afterward I have a flight because on Monday morning I'll have to give a work-related talk... So long weekend, huh?

Well im working on cleaning house. So far i took out the kitchen garbage. Its 3 pm. And took a nap. No wonder the place looks like this. And i took pictures. T has been bugging me to.

Just finished going through all the old cassette tapes of things that I taped off the radio (in most cases over a decade ago) and I had some pretty interesting stuff.

This was fun:
Games With Words: Which English?

It guessed my English dialect:
1. Scottish (UK)
2. Irish (Southern)
3. English (UK)

...and my native language:
1. English
2. Finnish
3. Russian


(I can guess why it thought my dialect is Scottish or Irish English. I have absolutely no idea what made it pick Finnish as a second alternative for my native language, though!)

Mast
Is the link correct? I get a word game. Not that I'm complaining.

Uh, that's weird. I typed in the right link... hold on, let me try to fix it. (I don't like the way this forum treats hyperlinks.)

There, all better. I hope.

I don't know why I interact with other people and pretend i am human, i just don't understand the rules of the game.

I feel like this sometimes too.

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Session was good:-) Didn't manage tears, but got angry. Angry's a whole lot better than shut down and miserable later. And I set up an appt for next week. Which I'm not gonna tell H about. Why bang my head off that wall...

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Thanks everyone. The wake and funeral are behind me.

Tomorrow, some family members and I are in search of an ancestor's grave. He was a Confederate soldier, prisoner of war, that escaped from a train wreck in Northern PA. Aided by an ex-Union soldier, he escaped and headed home to North Carolina. He was apprehended in Maryland and was forcibly conscripted into the Union Army. He deserted shortly after the end of the war. This should be a great adventure.