Couch 75

Wow! Does sound like a great adventure. Tell us more after.

so incredibly sad...

This need to feel like I matter to someone... Anyone...is this endless pit... It will never be filled...

Everyone leaves... Or just takes and takes and never gives back....

I just need to keep it together.... To keep moving and doing... And this need will pass... I will remind myself that it is the wanting things you dont have that lead to disappointment.... Must learn to be satisfied with what you have...

You sound depressed.

just thinking over the 3 years of therapy... The $ spent and how much things are the same...

Concentrating on yourself too much and wanting more than you have.... Leads to disappointment...

Just moving on and doing what is needed and expected is a better way for me to live...

A year's therapy might buy two holidays.

A while ago I got an invitation to a wedding. A former friend is getting married (I wouldn't say we're still friends since I haven't seen her in years but I guess I can say we're acquaintances or something). Here's the thing, I can't go. To be honest I don't really even want to go and that's because of my anxiety (people I've never met before, noises, loads of external stimuli etc). But yeah, even if I wanted to go I doubt that I would be able to. Mostly because it's in the end of August, which is when I need to be back in town due to the next semester almost starting but also because I'm supposed to meet up with the other students who help out teaching anatomy for some information and some training I guess (ugh, I'm so nervous already). I'm not sure exactly when that is though.

Question: how do I go about RSVP-ing that I can't attend the wedding? Thankfully you can RSVP via email so I don't have to call anyone but still. I don't know how things like this work. Are you supposed to explain why you can't be there? What do people usually say? Mastodon, if you see this, perhaps you could help me out a bit? I mean, you're Swedish too and I perhaps you know how these things work here in Sweden?

I really need to get this over with. I got the invitation quite a long time ago (last day to RSVP is on the 15th of July).

Thanks.

I'm not great w/etiquette but you might get a laugh out of this funny wedding response card I saw online..

On the attendance response card the choices are:

*gladly attend
*regretfully decline
*regretfully attend
*gladly decline
*will decline to respond but end up attending

good luck!!!

You do need to RSVP, but you don't have to give any reason. "Thank you for inviting me! Unfortunately I will not be able to attend. I wish you a long and happy life together." Or something like that. If you want to give a reason you can do so but it's fine to say, simply, that you will not be able to make it.

I know this feeling well. I still hope that therapy will lead to being able to deal with not getting those things I think i want.

I really hate myself sometimes. I was just in a lecture when the lecturer said we were going to have some sort of demonstration and that he'd randomly choose 3 out of the 40-ish people there to perform the demonstration in front of the others. I could feel the anxiety build up and then, after a few minutes, I panicked and left before the lecturer could chose "volunteers". I'm so anxious I'm shaking and I feel like crying. I'm now going to miss half of the lecture due to social anxiety. So disappointed in myself.

That was extremely insensitive of the lecturer. Seriously, they should know better than to do that. (I'm also surprised that you had a lecture today, but that's a side issue.)

I have been invited a couple of times to weddings in the UK and the US. Those RSVP cards they attach to the invitations are incredibly handy things. I wish that would catch on in Sweden as well, because with those cards you really don't have to worry about what to say! (There are other Anglo wedding customs I hope won't catch on here, such as the father leading the bride to the altar, or the wedding dress being a secret to the groom until the day of the wedding, but the RSVP cards are nifty.)

In a Norwegian wedding, the bride and groom slap each other with herrings.

Ok, I just made that up.

Yeah, especially since the lecturer knew there's someone in the class who has problems with social anxiety. Anyway, I think he's pretty inexperienced when it comes to teaching so perhaps that's why. (I take it most people are off today? "Klämdag"? We only had one lecture today, but still.)

Hey, Mastodon, what do you do to survive the weekends? I don't really know why you don't like weekends and you don't have to tell me but I sort of hate weekends too and I'm a bit scared to be honest. What I don't like about them is that I have time off and when I have time off I have more time to think ---> miserable and very depressed neutrino (I need to learn how to deal with this to prevent burnout). Very worried about the summer for the same reason.

Ready - I just want you to know I am thinking of you. I relate to this so very much. I could have written this myself. It's a horrible place to be. i am so sorry you are in this place too. Take good care of yourself.

It is a fairly usual technique where I teach. Students who express great trepidation when called upon can be excused, but then we usually contact the student and the dean of students to try to get the student some help.

Student participation/involvement is a pretty common teaching technique. Not particularly insensitive really, but if a student has issues in that area, they really just need to speak to the teacher about it. Usually arrangements can be made.

I am a senior lecturer at a Swedish university, and our system and policies are different from the USAnian ones. Inferior, obviously, but different. Please allow for the possibility that I may actually know what I am talking about in this instance, since neutrino is a student in the system where I work, not the system where you work. I made a bad error of judgment when I didn't ask to have my account removed a week ago - I feel that everything I say here is being judged and condemned. I know that is my interpretation and not the responsibility of people who post in response to me, but it is really hurting me quite badly right now, and I am only sabotaging my own mental stability by coming back to this forum.

My response was only for my jurisdiction where such is usual and I thought I had made it clear I was talking about my area - not yours, but also the idea that different areas have different approaches I thought was part of the conversation. I doubt the Swedish system is inferior to the US system. Frankly, our education system as a whole, from my experience, rather sucks but my reasoning on it would probably differ from the opinion of others because I believe we have become way too wishy washy/politically correct/ etc.

Would it not be possible to take a break without deleting the account?
I wish you well.

I would miss you if you left, Mastodon. Just so you know. I really value your input on things and I'm sorry you feel like you're being judged here.

I was just making an observation as a teacher myself who deals with these kinds of situations regularly. I wasn't in any way meaning to judge or criticize and I apologize if my words hit you that way; just was making an observation based on experience. I in no way intended to be judgmental. I completely understand though how we can be in a spot where we interpret things very personally for whatever reason. I've taken breaks from PC for similar reasons as have others, and sometimes that's good self-care. I hope you'll consider just taking a break and returning when you are in a better place.

Yeah, I thought that sounded kinda fishy.

I'm sorry you felt hurt and judged. Please do what's best for you and your well-being, but just know that I would miss you terribly if you leave.

Darn, tried to post an image from facebook that I liked and it would not show up. Anyway, it was something I am going to try to remember for myself. It was reputedly a Polish Proverb about not getting sucked into things that do not involve me personally. It said, "Not my circus. Not my monkeys."

todays dose of adorable . he had a long day so freddy says im OUT