Trying to find out where T lives

I am in therapy for both those reasons. I doubt T wants to get close to me, and if she did I would probably run the other way, but it is what I feel I want.

Yes. I often wonder about people's lives and I think finding out about where she lives would give me some information.

Maybe you should talk about this with your T. I think there might be a reason why you might be curious on where she lives. There's nothing wrong with being curious and asking but trying to find out where a person lives and going through all the trouble might indicate something else

I pass no judgement on you to be right or wrong. I do believe its a good discussion for you and your therapist to have to help make progress in your therapy. Good Luck to you.

My T's addresses were easy to find online. I did drive by her houses, two of them,
and told her that I did it. If you never read my threads about it, you'll probably be interested.

I totally understand your wanting to see where she lives and to know more about her. However, it's not a good idea to act on that urge. It's better to talk to your T instead. That's what I wish I had done.

I didn't want to know where my t lived when I still saw her in person, not because I'm some saint but because I know me, if I somehow found out where she lived I probably would have driven by her house and then been consumed with guilt over it. I do know her address now (now that she lives 1300 miles away!) because she gave it to me so I can mail her checks for my phone sessions. I was a little surprised when she gave it to me and said it was her home address!

When I started seeing T she lend me two books to read and wrote her home address in them (I guess because I had an history of quitting therapy). Of course I google mapped her address and always wanted to drive by, but never dared to, especially as her home is quite a distance from mine.

Anyway her village is just of the road I have to take a few times a year to drive to one of our suppliers at work. Of course the first time I had to go to this supplier, the road was closed exactly at this height and I had to drive through her village, and as she lives on the main street in front of her house... Let me tell you I was absolutely terrified she may look out the window and recognize my huge delivery van and think I was stalking her... and of course, at the next junction another road was blocked because of an accident. So here I sit, like 2 miles from T's house which is an hour away from home, have a crisis and wanting to hurt myself because I'm totally lost and have no clue where to go next, and can't call T because how akward would that be....

Since that day, my only advice to people who want to drive by their T's house is don't! You never know what can happen and how akward things can get... I'm so happy she never found out, but now I always dread driving to this supplier.