[christina_21]

I hope I'm posting in the right place, this is my first post. I've been considering seeing a counselor/therapist/psychiatrist/etc for quite some time but I haven't been able to push myself to make the phone call to schedule an appointment. I suppose I'm a little embarrassed that I need to and would be even more so if anyone found out. Depression, financial problems, marital, family, and friend problems, childhood issues, etc... dozens of things over the years to make me pretty much the basket case I am today. I guess I don't know how to start or how to even choose a doctor. I was hoping others might be able to tell me how they made the decision and how those first visits were? Any advice to pass along? Thank you.

[Perna]

I would read as much about therapy as possible (good link I like, http://www.metanoia.org/ ) and get some feel for kinds and types of therapists and how it all works and see if I could find something that appeals to me.

I was in college and very depressed/having difficulty thinking straight so asked a friend to help me and she worked for a faculty member in the Health department who suggested what course I should take/how the campus counseling center worked and confirmed that would be a good idea/place for me to start.

[purplemoon]

I kind of ended up in therapy accidentially. I guess I really needed to be there. My husband started to see a T and once every few weeks I would come. Then my son who was also seeing a T needed to find a new T and so I went to my husbands T. During the intake for my son - I was talking to the T by myself about my son and I just kind of feel apart. I guess since I had been to see the T a few times with my husband I felt safe there - I still can't beleive that I did that - it is so out of character for me. I have always been the rock, the one to hold things together. Anyhow the T said that I needed to consider seeing a T - it didn't have to be him but he thought that I definetly needed to see someone. He offered referrals or if I wanted to see him. I said thank you and left. About a week later I called and made an appointment - he had me come in the same day, he asked who I was there for - husband, son or myself. He is now my T - neither my son or my husband see him - isn't it weird how things work out? Anyhow I am making progress the one thing I wish though is that I started therapy earlier instead of waiting. I don't think a T will see you if you don't need therapy. It is the best thing I could have done for myself. If you wonder I would call and make an appointment. If you decide it isn't for you, you can always change your mind. Sorry this is so long probably more than you needed to know. Wishing you luck!!

My docs have been recommending therapy since I started searching for help in my early 20's & I've had some doozeys. There was the feminist one who said, basically, of course I'm depressed cuz I'm a housewife & mother. She got me real angry at my husband. He would come home from work & I'd be mean & resentful & he'd say, "Oh, you saw your therapist today." And the poor guy was paying for it, too. I guess that's love when he'll pay for me to come home & abuse him!

Then there was the one that wanted me to play with dolls. Sorry, I don't do dolls.

Then when I was in a manic phase, I was trying out new therapists & I "fired" one cuz she had a typo on a form that I was supposed to fill out. Then I "fired" one cuz she she was really gorgeous, had the nails done, obviously went to the gym (I was probably just jealous), but I blew up when she ran out of receipts & wanted to give it to me the next week. I thought she has all this time to get dolled up & she can't xerox a freaking piece of paper! I bet she wouldn't like it if I said, "I'll pay you next week."

Finally, I got in with a good pdoc who recommended a therapist (woman) who was not too beautiful, always had receipts ready, could spell & specialized in bp! She's helped me deal with my up & down emotions & helped me calm down. She's now attempting to help me increase my self-esteem--not seeing much progress yet, but, hey, there are no dolls.--Suzy

[Disordiano]

I guess I made my decision after some troubled times and definitely just wanted someone to chat to regarding my problems, so it was quite easy. Having said that, there was a break of about four years when I should have been in therapy but didn't seek a therapist cos it was easier to not go, so I understand where you are coming from there.

Dis.

[PlanningtoLive]

I went to my primary doc when I was a wreck and he tried different meds with me. When they didn't start working, he referred me to another group of doctors that were more qualified than him.

Good luck.

[Brookester]

Hi Christina,

I thought I was going crazy while in college. I could not sit still, I had an eating disorder and I was generally miserable. I knew that something was not right with my mind so I got a referral for a local psychiatrist who I saw throughout college and he was partially responsible for my being able to graduate. Of course, more issues were uncovered after I began therapy, i.e., molestation, emotional abuse, etc., etc. You are headed in the right direction and no one needs to know that you are going. It is confidential and only your business. ((((((((((((((((Christina)))))))))))))))))

[sunrise]

Christina,
Due to a catastrophic event in my life, I was almost instantly falling apart and knew I needed outside help. I am the strong, keeps-feelings-bundled-up-inside type and would not have thought in a hundred years I would ever seek out therapy. Until I fell apart and had to get help. It was so hard to make the phone call to get some referrals and then to call the counselor the first time. I got the referrals through my employer's Employee Assistance Plan (EAP). Lots of employers in the U.S. have EAPs. They give confidential referrals to "qualified" mental health professionals and my EAP paid for the first 3 visits. After that, I had to go through my insurance for reimbursement. And my use of the EAP was kept confidential from my boss.

My counselor and I weren't a great match, but I still got some relief from seeing her for a while. The first visits were difficult because I was such a basket case and barely making it through the day. But her office provided a place where I could go to cry and fall apart. I was not in any shape to read up on different therapy approaches or philosophies and look at that kind of stuff in detail or check credentials. Now I have a different therapist and we fit like a hand in a glove, and I am truely solving my problems (instead of just tackling the symptoms) and moving forward. Going to see the first counselor helped me learn what did and didn't work for me in therapy, and that knowledge helped me find a good match the second time.

Now that I have had some therapy, I would not hesitate to seek it out again if I felt I needed it. If you're not sure, you can always try going for a while, then stop if it seems not to be what you need. You don't need to tell anyone you are going to therapy at first, if you feel embarrassed by it. Your sessions are between you and your therapist. Tell friends and family only if you want. Later that may become easier.

Good luck,
sunny

[Soidhonia]

Hello and welcome to Psych Central. I was hospitalized ang got therapy from there. Stress and other factors had set off an episode and I wound up in the Hospital. Getting therapy is a great idea especially if you are overloaded and need help dealing with the stress, this helps you to protect yourself and your mental health. Take care Soidhonia.

Hey Christina, you are posting in the right place, nice to see you here :-)

It can feel really very daunting to take the plunge and make the phonecall. I don't know anybody who isn't nervous in taking that step. Even people who have been in therapy before are typically nervous about talking to somebody new, and they tend to have a bit more of an idea what to expect with the process.

There can be a lot of variation in the way that different therapists do things. One factor is different theoretical orientations and background training while another factor is individual differences.

One way to find somebody is to get a referral from someone you trust such as a friend or GP. If you want to claim visits on health insurance your insurance company might have a list of providers who they are willing to cover. I've also heard of people looking through the phone book.

In your first session the therapist will typically try and get some idea of why you want therapy and what you are hoping to get from it. It can be a good idea to have a think about those issues so that you can talk about them a bit. Sometimes they will ask you about yourself in terms of how many siblings you have, how far you went with education, the sort of work you have done / are doing, whether you are married, how many kids you have etc so they can have some idea of your life in general terms. They should also give you the opportunity to ask questions about them. One question that is good to ask is about their qualifications (there are, unfortunately, some cranks out there).

That first session is for both of you to suss each other out and think about whether you think you can work together. Sometimes the fit just doesn't seem right. Or the sorts of issues you are wanting help with aren't really what the therapist likes to work with. Or you just don't like them. Maybe they remind you of someone you don't like or whatever. It isn't uncommon for people to interview 5 or 6 or 7 different therapists before they find someone they think they would like to work with. But similarly it isn't that uncommon for people to get on okay with and start working with the first person they see. If you can... I'd suggest you interview a few and work with the one who seems to fit the best.

Then you typically negotiate such things as billing and frequency of visits. It can be a good idea to ask about their billing policy with respect to cancellations. That way if you decide that you have found someone who is a better fit you can cancel the session (with due notice) without being charged. They should be okay with you being upfront about your interviewing different people to see who you think you can work best with should you decide to do that.

First visits can be a bit nerve wracking. Most therapists will try and make things easier for you... But they always are a bit nerve wracking, yeah.