[sweepy62]

This is starting to really be annoying now, or maybe just everything is annoying around therapy, but we have been also working on being more vulnerable, in her presence. I have been trying, and she has noticed, but when I leave her a voicemail, even, when I want her to call back, iend the call, with " by the way I dont need you to call me back"

Of course im not expecting a callback, im sure if I said please call me back, she would, thats what she is expecting. Except, today I had such a melt down of emotions, my inlaw ended up in the er being admitted, not that I care for her, emergency rooms trigger me, saw my pdoc today, she increased my meds.

I left my t a message that I was super stressed, I was having a hard time, hospitals trigger me, and that we should talk about that, next time, I told her I just wanted to vent. Again ended the call saying" by the way I dont need you to call me back"

She did not of course, my old t, use to call me back regardless, even if I said dont, because of the tone of my voice on the phone. I think she is playing a game.

I know I should say call me, it shows that I need her, its what she wants, im looking at it, as a game, im already kinda pissed at her.

Any ideas? After next week I dont see her for 2 weeks, she is going on conference OMG

Have you considered she sees your not asking her directly, but instead testing to see if she will call you anyway, as a bit of a game yourself? You are the one needing to advocate for exactly what you need. It isn't a game on her end. She's wanting you to learn.

[unaluna]

I always used to say that - "you dont have to call me back." I was trying to deny my need, not sure if to myself or the other person. Like its a magic saying that undoes everything you just said, like you dont really mean it if the other person is gonna get mad. But its more appropriate to our families than to our ts. If its considered aporopriate at all. It could come across as controlling, when i think i see it more as grovelling almost. Its kinda insulting to my t now, i think.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by 1914sierra

Have you considered she sees your not asking her directly, but instead testing to see if she will call you anyway, as a bit of a game yourself? You are the one needing to advocate for exactly what you need. It isn't a game on her end. She's wanting you to learn.

Im stubborn asking for help, I guess I need growth in this area, I never saw this as a "test" do you think she sees it as a test? I m so use to my old t calling even when I said I dont need you.

Originally Posted by sweepy62

Im stubborn asking for help, I guess I need growth in this area, I never saw this as a "test" do you think she sees it as a test? I m so use to my old t calling even when I said I dont need you.

I would suspect she probably does to an extent. It isn't particularly hard to recognize. I am sure if you just simply asked for what you need, she would respond with what you want.

You are still testing her to see if she'll be like your old T. She can see that. Can you allow her to be who SHE is rather than her having to be like your old T? Just pick up the phone and ask for what you need. It would be a learning experience about self-advocacy and trust.

[Asiablue]

She might also be respecting your wishes that you don't require a call-back. Lots of therapists take what we say at face value. They trust us to ask for what we need.

Also she's never going to win a sub-conscious game that she isn't aware she's part of. It's not very fair to be angry at her for not meeting a need you quite clearly vocalised the opposite of ( " i don't need a call back).

I don't think it's a game or a test. She's probably encouraging healthy behaviors. Look up the concept 'assertiveness' if you have a minute. Or-practice by calling her back to state "I meant I need a call back".

You're doing good work!