[Freewilled]

So I know I need to be grateful for what I do have: a job, a family, health insurance, a home, etc. And I am thankful.

I found out that there may be an issue with my insurance. I know it's not a big deal. My T has always always always been kind about the money stuff (I'm always worried about insurance dropping me due to it being medically unnecessary) and willing to work with me. Honestly, I could pay the full rate although my husband might be mad so idk....

It's not even for sure there's an issue, but just thinking about it reminds me of the financial transactions and the purpose of therapy. I wish I could just go to T forever but that's ridiculous. I'm supposed to be getting better but sometimes I think my problems are really incurable. That my expectations are out of line with reality. I'm starting to go into heavy denial - saying things to myself like, "you never needed therapy. It's not even important. You're self-indulgent. Get over yourself - T could care less. You're just a stepping stone in his career."

I can detach from people quickly. Emotionally I just turn off. It didn't take long to do it to my T......which is my whole problem in life. Idk....just a rant I guess.

Anyone have positive stories about insurance making mistakes? If you pay out of pocket, is it a strain on your finances and your relationship with a significant other? Do you ever worry about losing your T due to $$$?

And mostly, how do you come to terms with the T relationship seeming to be so intimate and yet, boiling down to money? It's hard for me to reconcile these two things, I think....

[CantExplain]

I don't know if this will comfort you or not ( ), but I think you probably do benefit from therapy. It's not an indulgence.

[coconut64]

I don't have an answer. My life fell apart in an instant as a consequence I owed my T a month. After nearly five years of going several times a week, he dropped me in the middle of a crisis for lack of payment. He did call afterwards trying to collect but it also came with him asking me not to call him anymore, asking what I wanted from him, etc..It was too much for me and I haven't been able to deal with any of it. I know this, I will never, ever go back into therapy. I know this is probably not the answer you wanted.

[HazelGirl]

Freewilled, the money thing is hard. I am not paying my T for the months of May and June and I feel bad for that. She is totally okay with it (unlike coconut's T), but it's still sad.

[Lauliza]

I did have the experience of insurance making mistake. They told me my pdoc may not be covered anymore. When I spoke to his receptionist I was told this was not true and not to worry. I got a letter from the insurance co the other day acknowledging the mistake. I was relieved because like you I knew it would be a lot of money and likely be a strain on my home life. Hopefully it will end up a non issue for you or if it is, you can work something out with your T. Either way, I do know how hard it is to have to worry about this stuff.

[rainbow8]

Originally Posted by Freewilled

So I know I need to be grateful for what I do have: a job, a family, health insurance, a home, etc. And I am thankful.

I found out that there may be an issue with my insurance. I know it's not a big deal. My T has always always always been kind about the money stuff (I'm always worried about insurance dropping me due to it being medically unnecessary) and willing to work with me. Honestly, I could pay the full rate although my husband might be mad so idk....

It's not even for sure there's an issue, but just thinking about it reminds me of the financial transactions and the purpose of therapy. I wish I could just go to T forever but that's ridiculous. I'm supposed to be getting better but sometimes I think my problems are really incurable. That my expectations are out of line with reality. I'm starting to you want any information by into heavy denial - saying things to myself like, "you never needed therapy. It's not even important. You're self-indulgent. Get over yourself - T could care less. You're just a stepping stone in his career."

I can detach from people quickly. Emotionally I just turn off. It didn't take long to do it to my T......which is my whole problem in life. Idk....just a rant I guess.

Anyone have positive stories about insurance making mistakes? If you pay out of pocket, is it a strain on your finances and your relationship with a significant other? Do you ever worry about losing your T due to $$$?

And mostly, how do you come to terms with the T relationship seeming to be so intimate and yet, boiling down to money? It's hard for me to reconcile these two things, I think....

The money issue came up for me in March because I stopped having insurance; I'm on Medicare and my T doesn't accept it. I thought I'd have to quit but she is letting me pay a reduced fee. I can see her twice a month and it's not ideal but better than nothing!

I also have the same difficulty reconciling the intimacy of the relationship and the money. There have been many threads on this subject. I always remember someone (sorry I forgot who) posting that we pay for our T's time, but not for their caring. It's NOT like seeing other professionals because it IS intimate. Therapy is unique. Yes, I'm her job but that fact doesn't change the nature of the relationship. I know others disagree, and some T relationships are more business like. It depends on the T.
I hope it works out for you!

[clairelisbeth]

Dealing with money in therapy is so hard and so awkward! I'm so grateful for my T, bc she handles the awkwardness with such grace and addresses it head on. I pay her at the end of the month, but there have been a few times where I couldn't pay her for two months bc I was really financially jammed. She was incredibly understanding and patient, and told me repeatedly that it was ok, and that if it wasn't, she would let me know. I think it was a lot harder on me-I felt incredible guilt! I didn't want her to feel that I was taking advantage, even though she assured me that I wasn't.

I think money is especially awkward in therapy bc you pour your heart out to this person that you have an incredibly unique and intimate relationship with, and then hand them a check. I feel lucky to have a T that is skilled at handling the money part of things and never makes me feel like "just a paycheck"....but still, it's odd!

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[stopdog]

I find the money part helps me feel somewhat safe from the woman.

[msxyz]

I am glad money is between us, it gives me a sense of safety.

[msxyz]

Originally Posted by stopdog

I find the money part helps me feel somewhat safe from the woman.

Just saw you said that,too. I feel exactly the same.

[Parley]

I hope the insurance issue goes in your favor.

I don't use insurance and only go biweekly in order to maintain financial stability. I don't want it to become an issue in my marriage. To be fair, my husband knew my issues when we married. I was stable but I didn't come with baggage. I came with the whole freaking luggage set and he was crazier than me. He chose a life I didn't want. He understood that I couldn't choose a therapist with insurance restrictions.

I don't worry about losing my T because of finances but she is starting to talk about weekly sessions. That won't happen unless I get a job. the financial aspect keeps things in perspective for me. I have enough confusion and a low tolerance for chaotic relationships.

I was in denial for many years but I wasn't in therapy. It doesn't work. If it did, I doubt you'd be trying to convince yourself therapy isn't necessary.

I'm a bit confused. You say "I wish I could just go to T forever..." but you also say "I can detach from people quickly. Emotionally I just turn off. It didn't take long to do it to my T......which is my whole problem in life. Idk....just a rant I guess. " I wonder if this part of your denial? Would/does it bother you to be emotionally attached to your therapist?

[Freewilled]

Originally Posted by Parley

I hope the insurance issue goes in your favor.

I don't use insurance and only go biweekly in order to maintain financial stability. I don't want it to become an issue in my marriage. To be fair, my husband knew my issues when we married. I was stable but I didn't come with baggage. I came with the whole freaking luggage set and he was crazier than me. He chose a life I didn't want. He understood that I couldn't choose a therapist with insurance restrictions.

I don't worry about losing my T because of finances but she is starting to talk about weekly sessions. That won't happen unless I get a job. the financial aspect keeps things in perspective for me. I have enough confusion and a low tolerance for chaotic relationships.

I was in denial for many years but I wasn't in therapy. It doesn't work. If it did, I doubt you'd be trying to convince yourself therapy isn't necessary.

I'm a bit confused. You say "I wish I could just go to T forever..." but you also say "I can detach from people quickly. Emotionally I just turn off. It didn't take long to do it to my T......which is my whole problem in life. Idk....just a rant I guess. " I wonder if this part of your denial? Would/does it bother you to be emotionally attached to your therapist?

Thanks for sharing your experience - the part about your H knowing your issues when you married hit home for me. It's true in my case as well. I think I feel guilty for not being better yet after 1.25 years of therapy but it is what it is....

Thanks for pointing out my inconsistency - I am very contradictory sometimes or a lot....the thing is, both are true. Although, I don't really feel in control of detaching at all. It happens. Done.

But you are right that I am uncomfortable with the idea of being emotionally attached to my T. The thought if it makes me literally nauseous....like right now. Despite a part of me feeling like I never want to leave. It's a battle, I guess.

[Freewilled]

Just to update: turned out fine lol. Man, if I could only stop my over reactive parts from freaking out Thanks for all of your support. I did get some insights out of this experience though, so I can hopefully take it with me moving forward.