[Disordiano]

Hello, I've just quit with my therapist after about a year, and because nothing was happening, I wasn't progressing. I was wondering if maybe I am expecting too much progress in therapy? Or should I expect to improve regularly?

I also wanted to ask about different approaches to therapy as she was working at trying to change behavioiur patterns and habits, sort of like a life coach and didn't seeem to be interested in doing any "clinical" psychology?

I don't know if I am using the right terms here, infact I'm sure I'm not, but hopefully you understand what I am trying to say.

Dis.

[sunrise]

Dis, yes, therapy has really helped me, especially with my second therapist. I never really connected with my first, whose approach was very surface, very CBT. My second (and current) T is a combination of humanistic and psychodynamic and this suits me to a T. He's very insightful and helps me get at the root of the problem rather than just trying to fix the symptoms. He is very much "present" at our sessions, and always shares something of himself with me each time. Because of this, I grew to trust him very quickly (for me). We're making a lot of progress.

I hope you can find someone you can really connect with and who uses an approach that resonates with you. Maybe you can spend some time reading a bit on the different theoretical approaches and see if any of them especially appeals to you. And then seek out someone in that genre. That said, what I have heard is that the relationship with the T is actually the most important thing in the success of the therapy, rather than the approach they use. So if it were me, I would give a lot of weight to my sense of connection with the T in the first few sessions as I was deciding whether to continue.

good luck
sunny

P.S. there is an article at PsychCentral on the different theoretical approaches: Types of Therapies

Therapy can help. Some people find it doesn't, but I think the majority of people find some benefit to it.

Do you know what kinds of things you want help with?

Some approaches are better than others for certain kinds of problems. Otherwise I guess it depends on which approach to your problems you would prefer.

I think sometimes it helps, sometimes it makes things worse and sometimes it just doesn't do anything!

I think a year was certainly plenty of time to see results especially for behahiour modification type therapy. In fact I would expect to start seeing some changes within a few sessions.

Old time talk therapy is more difficult to evaluate as to whether it is helping or not I think because the goals are not as well defined. And sometimes the help is not as much from the formal therapy as just the passage of time and a reliable listener. But it does help some people. My experience is that it is not always easy to tell whether it is helping or not .

[Disordiano]

Yes I wanted help with finding direction in life, like a job, career path etc, social phobia and depression.

She did discuss my daily plans and routines and tried to change them by asking me what I would like to change about my daily life and so the plan became to go to the gym 3x a week, eat more fruits and veg, etc.

Unfortunately I never really stuck to my own plans or goals in therapy for very long. When I did, I was congratulated which I guess is positive reinforcement, but then the plan was forgotten about in therapy and I didn't keep it up on my own, without the psych knowing about it.

Also, how does a psych telling me what to do make me do what she tells me to do?

Dis.

[Pughead]

For me it's only been about 8 weeks, but it seems to help. At least it is someone I can talk to about what's inside me without having to worry about it. Once we have a better idea of the Dx, then we can come up with a good plan together.

I look forward to the sessions each and everytime. Alot of times I can't sleep because I'm thinking about all the things I want to go over. I get really excited about it.

lol. you might want to check out somebody psychodynamic...

[JonB]

Funny, my T reminds me weekly that he is not there to tell me what to do. I think therapy can work if you find someone you can work with. Maybe give it another try with a different person. One with a different approach since you already know what doesn't work for you. Good luck.

[sunrise]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Disordiano said:
Also, how does a psych telling me what to do make me do what she tells me to do?

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Dis, my therapist never tells me what to do. Maybe that was part of the problem with yours? He sometimes suggests books to read and tells me why he thinks I will find them helpful. Or he gives examples of how others have dealt with problems similar to mine. Or sometimes he makes indirect comments and I am atuned enough to him that I can "get his message." And other times, he says things that plant seeds in my brain but he doesn't dwell on them. It's up to me to help them sprout.

sunny

Therapy has most definitely improved my life. I've had several different T and they all used different approaches.
For me it depended on where I was in life too. Like my last T was a life coach, helping me to find successful ways of handling problems I was encountering - specific things like overcoming my fears so I could go to a grocery store, giving up friends that were distructive in my life, helping me keep one of my friends but changing our relationship so that my friend wasn't mandating to me.
She never told me what to do until the final couple of months when she had her own agenda and then I quit because it wasn't successful.
The T that I have now is one that supports long term therapy - where I just need someone to support and offer suggestions - no real goals.

I'm in psychodynamic therapy. Had counselling sessions for 6 months at one stage but it wasn't helpful for me. I'm begining to understand that therapy for me isn't a "cure" but a tool to use to help me live with my life. Before this I was drinking to live my life and acting out to live my life. Therapy has been the most healthest options I have come across to live my life by.

> how does a psych telling me what to do make me do what she tells me to do?

I guess there are a couple of things to this. Firstly, is it something that you actually want to do, or is it just something that your t thinks you should do? I've never had much luck with trying to do something because someone else thinks it will be good for me when I don't see the potential benefits.

Secondly, if it is something that you actually want to do for yourself then if you are having trouble the issue should become what it is that you think is preventing you from doing it.

Figuring out what is preventing you can often help...

With some things we don't really want to change them but t really thinks we will benefit from changing them. SI can be like that. I guess here the therapists job is to get us to think about pros and cons and see what our considered opinion is (ie if you can get the pros in a way that doesn't have so many cons).