[thickntired]

I'm not sure if I'm the only one, but I've run across many T who were burned out, lacking in skill or just plain didn't give a ****.

It took me a while to figure out is it me as a patient or the T? I just wanted to stress that a T works for you. If there is not a bond where you feel respected and learn solutions - move to another T if possible. It's a lot like dating; the relationship must be healthy.

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[RTerroni]

I think that my last Therapist did cause permanent damage to me.

[IndestructibleGirl]

I don't think they have the power to do permanent damage, anymore than anyone else we meet in adult life who messes up, ie a cheating spouse, etc. Therapists just give us a vivid technicolor reminder of the people who did the grievous injury first time round.

We're fixable though.

Yes. They do have that power.

[Freewilled]

It can be a re-traumatization. It can be an original trauma. Depends on what happens....I know mine was re-traumatizing because of my past issues. My current T has stated so. I think it's important, though, to never give up. Ever. To find help. I am currently clawing and scratching my way to even get through the beginnings of recovery and it's been very hard for me. But I won't give up hope....I just can't. Believing in any kind of permanent damage from any past trauma is a death sentence to me.

[junkDNA]

Ts definitely have the power to hurt us if they behave unethically.

[thickntired]

I told my pdoc today that I've been in the system for 20 years mostly non compliant. Now that I'm compliant the longer I'm in the system the worse and more hopeless I feel. Rehashing past trauma and all other difficulties from mental illness is exhausting. When these confessions are met with indifference it can be very harmful. Then having to move on and start it all again makes me feel like a diagnosed annoyance instead of a valuable person.

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[growlycat]

I had a bad T early on that set me back quite a ways.

Much happier now with T situation.

Sometimes I read about other's T's and I want to say "oh, honey, just run!!!"

But I try to keep that impulse in check

I've suffered permanent damage with trust issues whereas I did not have major problems with that before. There is more but I can't say here.

[Wysteria]

I think that one of the most serious things that a "bad" therapist can do is to make us think/believe that all therapists act like they do...they "influence" us to think that we're not worth it, or that we can't find the help we really need...

I went through I think like 7 not so great to downright bad therapist before I found the right one for ME right now.... I've been with him for over 4 years now. He finally taught me what a good therapist for ME looks like...safe, trustworthy, sensitive, insightful, wise, loving, good listener, and truthful.

Not everyone needs the same kind of therapist...there are tons to choose from even if it is a drive.... If after 5-6 sessions, you realize that there is just something really wrong, then begin the search again. I stayed with many far too long.

Obviously the unethical therapists or ones that cross legal and professional boundaries are to be reported or just fired immediately...

-wb

[Depletion]

A bad therapist can cause a great deal of trauma. I think I've had a very hard time recovering from my S.A. Because the first therapist I saw behaved in a very unprofessional way. How a therapists acts matters a great deal.

[Wysteria]

Depletion:

You are absolutely right...

I'm sorry you were treated do poorly and got hurt. You certainly didn't deserve it...

Best wishes...
WB

Therapists can cause a great deal of trauma and because of this fact, most laws regarding conduct between therapists and clients tend to work in service of protecting clients from therapists.

[lizzyjb]

I had a bad experience with my last t so I left therapy and continue on my own. Since then I have not been the same. Always scared, always fair, sad and now I am down again, new meds, new therapist and can't deal with every step of my way. If I had have a good diagnosis, maybe things could be better but thas is something I never new. Now is what really care. If I am lucky my new T helps. If I am not... Well, I don't think this could be worse.

[krisakira]

I had a therapist who made my PTSD worse by telling me that the abuse was my fault, and another therapist who told me that the rape was my fault! Scarred me for sure. It was so traumatic hearing those things, just as traumatic as the events themselves!

[someone321]

Originally Posted by krisakira

I had a therapist who made my PTSD worse by telling me that the abuse was my fault, and another therapist who told me that the rape was my fault! Scarred me for sure. It was so traumatic hearing those things, just as traumatic as the events themselves!

I think, I have to agree as for me, nothing what has been done to me was as bad as what has been said to me about this what had been done (oops, a bit complicated, sorry if it's confusing). That's why after one meeting with psychologist in my late teens, I haven't seen any for next 8 years... But eventually I found another T, right? So it was not permanent. I think that it can be terrible and hurtful but nothing is really permanent, like: never say never...

I believe they can reek havoc in one's functioning, yet I don't believe it has to be permanent. If I had answered this question 2 years ago, I would have agreed with you hands down. How I live my life now gives me proof that healing is possible after bad therapy.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by krisakira

I had a therapist who made my PTSD worse by telling me that the abuse was my fault, and another therapist who told me that the rape was my fault! Scarred me for sure. It was so traumatic hearing those things, just as traumatic as the events themselves!

That exact same thing happened to me at AA. I had to list my part in molestation, my brother's death and my rape. I went completely manic and had to go in patient.

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[krisakira]

Originally Posted by thickntired

That exact same thing happened to me at AA. I had to list my part in molestation, my brother's death and my rape. I went completely manic and had to go in patient.

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That's the dumbest thing I've heard all day. AA is so dumb.

[Lamplighter]

I don't often read here anymore as a while ago I finally accepted the fact that after seeing over thirty therapists in the course of my (rather long) life, therapy and therapists were not going to help me - and as OP thickntired notes - were in fact doing me damage on an ongoing basis, often in a subtle and insidious sort of way, not always as open trauma.

So continuing to read a therapy board wasn't particularly helpful to me - but for some reason I decided to catch up today and saw this thread, had to post my two cents' worth.

I think part of what can keep some of us pushing and pushing and pushing to get help from a therapist is the desperation and despair that stems from having to face the fact that maybe there really isn't anyone out there who is right for us, maybe there isn't a saviour at all. I note that Wysteria says she went through a number of Ts before finding the one that was right for HER - and that too is part of what keeps us hanging in there, the hope and belief that there is that right person out there. I suspect (and know for sure in my case) that I had to keep believing that because to not be helped, to never get better, to always be as I am was unthinkable. A bit like having had to believe our dysfunctional and damaging parents were really well intentioned and good and so we stuffed our own negative perceptions in favour of maintaining this false belief and end up believing that we are the bad flawed unlovable ones... And end up going through life looking for the good enough parent, the good enough therapist.

Well in my case the good enough therapist doesn't exist and I finally reached the point where I accepted that actually, it was them and not me. Not that I was unfixable or that failed therapy was my fault. I categorically state here that it was inadequacy, arrogance, failure and downright incompetence on all of my T's parts that screwed up my attempts at getting help from them. So yeah, maybe for some of us it's necessary to stand back and go, I'm not going to get the help that I need (a specific and personal thing, as Wysteria rightly says) and continuing to put my faith in therapy and therapists is a damaging and counterproductive thing to do.

It's hard and frightening though, giving up the hope that someone will save you. Even harder and more frightening knowing that you have to save yourself. But better than continuing in false hope and being damaged, and yes I believe that therapists are eminently capable of causing permanent damage.

Good luck to everyone who is struggling in similar situations.

I can't change what my T and others did to me. It's killing me inside. It will affect me for the rest of my life.

[AllyIsHopeful]

I don't know about permanent damage- But a bad Therapist could definitely reinforce the damage that has already been done from past experiences, or low self-worth and self-esteem issues the client may have.

[thickntired]

Originally Posted by AllyIsHopeful

I don't know about permanent damage- But a bad Therapist could definitely reinforce the damage that has already been done from past experiences, or low self-worth and self-esteem issues the client may have.

I definitely felt more low self worth and trauma in AA. The sponsors usually don't have any type of degree in MI. I can though, after enough time passes, just think of bad T as incompetent more than malicious. I used to hate therapy so much that I'd go high or carrying a big mixed drink. Now that I'm sober and compliant it's more frustrating. I'm not even sure to be a T you have to get a graduate degree. I know they have different accreditations behind their name. I was a bit relived to learn they all have to get their license updated, which I hope involves advanced therapy studies and testing.

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[missbella]

My experience with a destructive therapist resonated for a long time, and it was quite a project distancing from the pain and shutting off my compulsion to right the situation.

My larger project has been to unravel the outlook the therapy implanted in me--to see myself like damaged pottery, pieces shattered on the floor. I'm working hard to discard this mindset, this idea that an unfairness atop my family experience, leaves me irreparably damaged. I have traits. Maybe I'm unlike many in the mainstream, but all my characteristics and experiences can be a positive as easily as a negative.. I'm not ceramic, but plastic. It's all experience to tuck away and eventually use.

Bad therapy IS crazy-making. This person has billed himself as a professional, a fixer, and then he adds to problems rather than alleviates them. I felt extremely isolated and I never got any professional to understand.

If it's compensation, you're in a boat with some very cool, thoughtful people who have dealt with this. I HIGHLY recommend these folks both for their online resources and contacting them for discussion.
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