[Mactastic]

Another thread got me thinking.

I am in therapy for what I call "people problems." I have no history of abuse, self-harm, drugs/alcohol, etc. I simply want more fulfilling relationships and I want to get to know myself. I'm in my mid-30's and I have almost no friends and I struggle with self-esteem which means I've also been single more years than I care to admit. I also have the nagging feeling I don't know myself at all.

Because emotional intimacy is so difficult for me I feel like only very recently I have started to trust my therapist (it's been 10 months.) I am terrified he's going to see growth in me and ship me off before I am feeling ready. I hate the idea of spending all this time, energy, and money only to be "forced out" once I really feel comfortable with him.

I have tried to bring this up but it continues to bug me. He assures me I can do therapy as long as I'm benefiting but I have trouble believing him. I just keep reminding myself my problems are "little fish" and he has better things to do than help me. We have addressed my "little fish" issue and he assured me I have every right to be there. We've spent a ton of time (almost 10 months lol!) processing our "relationship" because the idea of someone getting to know me is so profound and has been very, very painful and difficult with erotic transference thrown in on top of that!

I guess my question is - is there anyone out there who has done long-term depth-work with your therapist even though you have no trauma? Is it okay to do therapy simply to become more self-aware?

On a side note, my T thinks these fears stem from an idea I have that I am not worth someone's time or energy. I think he's onto something....

[HazelGirl]

I do have abuse in my history, but just because you don't doesn't mean that you shouldn't be in therapy. I believe every single person on earth would benefit in some way, whether it's major things or minor things.

sorry xx

Well, I've told you before that I don't have any "major" problems of abuse and whatnot...but I'm still in therapy. Mostly for a lot of the reasons you addressed above. I ALSO feel like I don't belong there, and that I'm just wasting my time, money, his time, etc.

However, I've heard from others that you can be as therapy for as long as you want to keep coming. I know some have "termination dates," but I think it really depends on the type of T/therapy you have. I think insurance plays a big part on how many sessions you're "allowed" to attend before you're dropped. I pay out of pocket (a big some every month, even on a sliding scale) just to be there. Which means I feel that since insurance isn't an issue, I can stay as long as I want, and as long as my T doesn't get sick of me.

In your case, if your T says that you have every right to be there, wants to continue helping you, and hasn't stamped a termination date on your face, then...by all means. Believe him! If therapy is your idea of a good time, (or not, haha), then again...be there! You have as much right as anyone else, and in my opinion, there are always things in people's lives that need improving/tweaking. It's an ever ending process. It's not over until we're dead, pretty much.

[Favorite Jeans]

From your T's perspective I would think he'd love to have a client who was doing okay in many areas, had not suffered major trauma and was so motivated to work and grow. I can't imagine why he'd kick out a client like that.

Pretty much daily I have the experience of talking to someone (or watching them in action) and thinking to myself "that's really something you could/should work on in therapy." Not because I think they have had a lot of trauma but because I think there is something important that they could be doing a lot better.

[Lauliza]

I have no abuse in my past either but went to my first T when I was 6. It hasn't been consistent since then but there are times like my teens or now when it's needed. I think it's a good thing to seek out help. People enter into therapy for a variety of reasons. Trauma is one reason, but by no means the only one.

[The_little_didgee]

I’m also in therapy for “people problems”. I don’t have a history of abuse, substance abuse etc. A lot of my “issues” are related to ASD and communication. Learning about NTs and how they think has made it easier for me to understand others and myself.

If therapy is working and improving the quality of your life, then it is worth continuing, no matter what your history is.

[Freewilled]

I feel the same way. I think I have trauma but I don't feel like it's enough. That I'm being dramatic. I worry my T will tell me I'm all good and kick me out. He says I can be there as long as I feel the need but it's so hard to trust him on that one.

[nonamecomestomind]

Yes, this. I also have no history of trauma, likely no diagnosis (pay out of pocket, and I guess one could always put "adjustment disorder"). Even reading on this forum makes me feel needy for going to T and my heart goes out to so many of you.
My reason is "only" that one of my children, now a teen, has been extremely difficult to parent and I just need the support. DD is verbally and occasionally physically abusive to me and has huge problems with feeling any empathy towards anyone. I just need to talk about it sometimes.
Soooo, add up my problems compared to many clients and I am sure I am way down there and sometimes wasting her time. Sigghhh...

Some people take up sports, music, art as a form of self expression. I choose therapy.It's the only way of expression that fits me .
Therapy isn't just for those with trauma.

[stopdog]

I have been seeing two of them for around four years and I have no real trauma in my background. My life reasonably works, I have friends, a partner, and my job is fine.
The therapists have not told me to leave.

[yoyoism]

I am the same. No history of trauma. Of course, we've all had rough relationship/family experiences and that has negatively influenced my life in some ways. My people problems have led to a bit more serious issues like eating disorder and self-harm though.