Exploring the codependent therapist

The word codependency is used in many different ways by people of many different backgrounds.

The way I have always understood it, which might be different than another's understanding, is that codependency falls under the Narcissistic Personality Disorder umbrella, whether or not alcohol addiction is involved (this is irrelevant to the meaning). The main NPD types are grandiose (overt) and fragile/vulnerable (covert). Both might have an underlying Borderline Personality Organization (BPO).

I'm not sure the labels help, but it does group the 2 together as major problems with sense of self, including using others as objects to meet one's needs.

I'm not worried if a therapist had/has these issues as long as they did years of their own psychotherapy. There really wouldn't be enough therapists for us all if this wasn't the case!

Two articles on therapist narcissism:

https://href.li/?http://www.sakkyndi...uchner2008.pdf

https://href.li/?http://www.sakkyndi.../clark1991.pdf

The context is that Codependency = Covert Narcissim

Sometimes I think this is strongly responsible for what is considered a good match between therapist-client (when one has overt tendencies and the other covert).

Boy skies that description nails me. Thanks (really!).

Eta - and sd. I feel like im starting back at square one. But like a choir director says, okay again, but this time with FEEEEEELING!

Thanks! Great articles! I'll try to wrap my mind around it.

I asked my pdoc about this because I was worried that my issues would make me a lesser T. He told me everyone in the field has issues, that's why they get into it. But he looked at me and said that I've got to get my s**t together before I start treating people. So its not the presence of a mental illness in of itself that presents a problem, it is present state of mind of the therapist and if these issues are being dealt with and are under control. I think people who have suffered through mental illnesses like depression, anxiety and a multitude of other disorders can often make excellent therapists. I think people with Aspergers and ADHD can do wonders to help others with the same conditions, because they not only empathize, but they really get it. The same with recovering addicts. But they have to want to want to help for the right reasons.

It could probably be easy for a T to foster a co dependent relationship if they're not careful, especially if a client has very similar issues. I also think it is human nature that when you care about a person, you don't want to see them go. But to keep them dependent by doing too much - too much help outside of office hours, too much guidance when a client should be making their own decisions is not good for their client. T's are not there to take care of us, but to offer care for our condition to make us better, like Wysteria said so well in her post. There is a big difference and why boundaries are so important. I think that can be why some therapists with the higher degrees, PhD's, PsyDs and PDocs, have tighter boundaries. I believe that they do need to be in therapy for at least some time and have enormous amounts of supervision before they practice therapy on their own. Mental Health Counselors by contrast have very little supervision outside of their internship and much of their learning is done on the job. So you can see where some problems might arise if the lack of supervised training is accompanied by the presence of some mental health issues. It scares me to death and I plan to see my pdoc and T forever to check in on my issues and ask their (unofficial) opinions.

Quote:
Originally Posted by My kids are cool
And from what I have seen in the US, it does not appear that the universities do much at all to weed out those with mental illnesses that make the person unsuitable to be a therapist. I have heard a couple of professors discuss that they feel that the Americans with Disabilities Act prevents them from eliminating many people from the clinical psychology programs who will make truly horrible therapists due to the person's own mental illness.


As my post stated, I was only talking about those whose mental illnesses make them unsuitable to be a therapist. I think there are some mental illnesses that do not prevent a person from functioning normally and being fully capable of helping others, and some that would cause a person to be a very poor, even dangerous therapist. As Lauliza said, bad therapy can be worse than no therapy, and I sometimes become very concerned about how little the universities seem to be able or willing to do in terms of eliminating people who would be hazardous to others as a therapist.

Sounds like my relationship with my T...

I see codependency and narcissism as two sides of the same coin. Both the codependent and the narcissist lack a properly defined sense of self and look for strength outside of themselves. The only difference is whether they do it in an active or passive manner. The dynamic between two narcissists/codependents is simply unhealthy. Each ends up hating the other for all the reasons they unconsciously hate themselves. But as much as they hate each other, they still need each other because their whole identity and sense of worth has come to revolve around the other. It's a downward spiral.

This is an article on this subject: http://www.camft.org/AM/Template.cfm...ontentID=14161 Helped me with definitions and a starting point for thinking about some of the possible issues.

Tell me about it Hankster! I was horrified when I found out I was people pleasing, changing to appease others, and making myself 'shrink' smaller to let others (like abusers and bullyers) feel bigger and better. That stuff was easy to change though--they are mere symptoms of the core issues....

Awareness is about 1/3 of the battle, I suppose. Really eye-opening article.

You're welcome.

Keep fighting the good fight (you too Hankster)!