[Restin]

T and I had a discussion about my inner child and fear of transference. My therapist was so wonderfully sympathetic and earnest, saying she would never, never hurt me. It melted my heart. The sweet look on her face could melt a stone!
But I still can't say that I need her to care about me like her child. It's like I'll be electrocuted if I say any needy stuff.
I can't write this either because it's the same as saying it.

But what are some sideways, hinting, things I could say? I could say my inner child needs to feel safe. I could say that. Or my inner child likes to be encouraged. Those are general, aren't too mushy.

It's easier to say Yes, or No, if T would agree to ask questions that can be answered that way. She asked me what would make my inner child feel happy and OK. But I just couldn't answer that because it's too much to say. I'm frozen with fear, Grrr, and so frustrated. Just thought I'd ask you who have been through this first step. Thanks

[Leah123]

Could you just copy and paste this into an email real quick and hit send?

If not, tell her that the question of what would help you feel comforted and cared for is overwhelming and ask her if she'll lead the discussion with specific questions to help you find the words and feel more comfortable?

[sailorboy]

I'm not sure if I'd actually recommend my way but here's how it played out for me:

1. I said that things T said mattered more than things other people said because they were coming from T
2. I said my feelings for T reminded me of a crush
3. I said I read about transference and I was in it

So it took three weeks and it so sometimes felt so embarrassing and hard but eventually just felt like a huge weight lifted.

Good luck!

[HazelGirl]

I understand that. I have to work really hard to even say I appreciate my T, let alone say anything mushy or super meaningful to me.

[JustShakey]

In my experience sideways hinting doesn't work that well. T will likely ask you directly what you mean, or possibly just ignore it until you are willing to be more direct yourself. I would just try to talk to her about how scared you are to tell her what you need.
I know exactly what you mean by being frozen with fear.

[Soccer mom]

I know what you mean too. I have never had to really open up to my T in the past - just to solve general problems and didn't see her on a consistent basis. Due to my mom passing, these sessions have been more emotional (internally). Thursday I want to tell her that it's almost harder for her to be so sweet to me. I want to treat it as friendship but I'm worried down deep she is giving me what my mom never did - unconditional empathy/love/whatever you call it. I"m worried once I mention that, I will feel even more vulnerable and feel like she's even more of a friend. It was easier when there wasn't much between us. I don't want to tell her because I don't want things to change. Yet, I think I need to tell her so I can figure out why I feel this way and get me back to more of a regular relationship.