Therapist Punctuality

Hi guys!

From time to time I see posts about therapists who don't start sessions on time.

Madame T always started on time. She did this by always finishing on time, and she did this by cutting off the patient in mid flow the moment the time was up.

Bottom line: punctuality requires a ruthless streak. So is punctuality really such a virtue in a therapist?

i think it is good to be a bit flexible about these things. i know my one T ran really late one time, but i think her client before me was having a crisis or something. these days with smart phones it isn't like you can't do other things while waiting.

My T is always punctual and l would expect this.

My T always sees me on time but is terrible at kicking me out on time lol We almost always go over a little. She'd never kick me out mid-flow.

I did have a T before who was like Madame T and I HATED it, It felt cold and clinical. But I didn't like her much either so...

That's a good point. My T is always on time. Always. He has gone over a few times with me, but never much more than 10 minutes.

My H just started with a T and his T was like 20 minutes late. That's foreign to me but then he went late with my H......idk. It could be a boundary issue.

When I first started with my T, one time he went like 12 minutes over before saying we have to stop. Um...I couldn't see the clock so I had no idea we were over. I apologized and then in a following session requested it not go over like that again. I was super super uptight about it because I don't like crossing others boundaries and felt responsible for it.

Interestingly enough, my H goes in there for his first session with a new T and seems almost happy his session went over, although he described ending as being "kicked out" lol. And then proceeds to ask for two sessions a week, which I can't even imagine doing.

Funny how different we can all be.

My therapist is often up to ten minutes late and I know that's not about me. I'm willing to wait for 10 minutes for her. But honestly, she still finishes when the time is up, where ever we are at the time.

My psychiatrist is pedantic, he has his little digital watch in front of him. It's like, 5 minutes, how are you, your mood, etc. then what's happened? It's like I talk for 25 minutes, he talks for 25 minutes, then the last 5 minutes, he winds it up. It drives me nuts sometimes. Like how he has everything lined up so perfectly on his desk, etc. But I laugh at his hair, it's wild hair, and it's the only thing that can't be tamed. And for such a nerd, he is surprisingly empathetic and I feel like he can hold whatever emotions I'm experiencing at the time.

I'll wait up to ten minutes. I know that he walks his client out, goes into his office, probably closes their file, opens mine, goes to the bathroom or whatever, and is back in 2 minutes and then gives me 60 minutes.

My therapist is NOT punctual at all! In the two years I have been seeing him we have actually started out session on time maybe a handful of times.. Generally I am brought back 10-20 mins after my scheduled time. He is like that for everyone and we all get our allotted time with t.

My T is always on time, well hang on. There was one day he was about 3- minutes late and it stresed me.

He does however go over often, or I do rather and he doesn't stop me. I am the one that sees the hour is up and grab my bag and try to leave. He will often say, hang on lets wrap this up. He asked me one day about my charge for the door, haha, I told him I was just respecting his time and didn't want "to get in trouble" for overstepping. He thanked me, and said it was up to him to time manage. Too kind sometimes, totally unnerves me!

My t couldnt be on time for anything if her life depended on it, which she acknowledges. She always has stuff coming up to get in the way. We are super informal anyway, and i am used to it, so it doesnt bother me much.

My one therapist is always on time. I started seeing another recently and she's always been late. Our sessions are always a full hour though so I don't mind.

I expect reasonable punctuality with variability if that makes any sense. I'm not a clock watcher when I go to therapy. His pattern is start after the hour and end more or less on the hour which creates a pretty consistent 55 minutes. But when we start and end might move in one direction or the other depending on when he ends with the person in front of me.

My appointments are always the last one in the day, so I expect the schedule may have shifted some by the end of the day. He will go over with a client, including with me, if there seems to be a crisis. He won't let me leave if he feels I am not safe to drive, so I'm sure he is that attentive with his other clients. I appreciate that level of care in my therapist, so I'm certainly not going to complain about it.

Life's too short to fret about 5 or 10 minutes give or take once in awhile. Not worth the stress. I have real problems. Clock watching isn't one I choose to add to my list of stressors.

The ones I see now are timely. And
I get up and leave when I see the time is up so I make sure the ending is on time.

Mine is always on time and considering I am first appointment in the morning and her office is in her home, I would feel like I am intruding if she wasn't there. I would not wait around, knock, or call. I'd be gone.

I feel very lucky that my therapist is semi-retired, not too busy, working from home. What that means for me is that she is on time 95% of the time and always has time for sessions to run long without ever inconveniencing anyone which would bother me.

Personally, I don't mind occasional minimal lateness, though in the case I just read on another thread, client asked to come 30 minutes early, but then dr. wasn't available until 20 minutes late, now that would bother me.

My T is never on time, always 20mns late. But I don't mind. Actually, I wonder if that's also part of therapy for him, like a kind of preparation before going in. I don't mind at all because he's not obsessed with time, and when I need extra time, he allows me to have it, he often keeps me 10 minutes more, even 20 or 30 minutes sometimes.

My T was on time but I did not experience her as ruthless ever. There are other ways to manage the wind-down, it does not have to be about an important, mid-sentence topic. There are "lighter", session summary or administrative (give me all your money :-) discussions that can be started before the end.

I don't agree with your interpretation or reasoning that punctuality means a T is ruthless. It's not "ruthless" to the next client to start on time rather than late (or the next one, and so on). Starting and stopping on time is one way of "containing" the session, which increases a sense of safety and security. And doing this consistently means that a therapist is consistent, a virtue that is often heralded here. Giving more time on some sessions and not others would be changing the rules without consulting the client.

And starting and stopping on time is just good business ethics, in therapy and in many of the professions. If a T is late to her next session because she ran over with the previous client, then she'd be unprofessional.

That black and white? No possible exceptions here?

My T is nearly always on time, and we nearly always end on time...and she manages it well. I think it's all in how the T wraps up sessions. My T always starts wrapping things up about 5 minutes before the end of the session. If I'm mid-conversation, she'll let the session run a bit long, but we rarely go over time.

There have been a few times where my T has been running late - usually because she was dealing with an emergency. She will always let the front desk know that she's running late, and she always makes up the time with me.

My T usually starts about 2 or 3 minutes after the hour and ends about 3 to 5 minutes before the hour is up. I usually get 55 minutes. She has never been more than 10 minutes late and has often gone a couple of minutes over with me, but never more than 10. I appreciate her consistency; she is reasonably punctual while still taking those couple of extra minutes when necessary.

My shrinks are never on time. It's very irritating.

When it comes to my therapist she is always their on time.
The psychiatrist[s] who deal with the meds though are a bit so and so.
Mostly I would wait anything from 15 to 30 minuets for the call in over the appointment time.
Three times I walked away in a huff.
Thats the way it is in this country.

I visit my T's house, so it is me who needs to be on time..(!)