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  #76  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 10:26 AM
Anonymous32735
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must have been imagining things

Last edited by Anonymous32735; Jul 10, 2014 at 01:45 PM. Reason: error

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  #77  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 11:03 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Why can't you dance by yourself?
One can. Just like a tree can fall in the forest and probably make a sound. Why would one though? Schrodinger's Cat is interesting to think about but. . .
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  #78  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 01:02 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Originally Posted by Perna View Post
One can. Just like a tree can fall in the forest and probably make a sound. Why would one though .
One would because it is fun.
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  #79  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 02:09 PM
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Y'all pick the ONE, teeny-tiny, most insignificant, meaningless, least defensible statement in my entire post and twist it and beat it to death, ignoring EVERYTHING else i said. I can only assume that everything else i wrote was so brilliant and obviously, universally correct, y'all were dumbfounded. Thank you, thank you very much

Eta: okay, i shouldnt complain that y'all latch on to a colorful eyecatching statement. But i did say other stuff i wanted to talk about and that i thought was relevant. But whatever. Online beggars cant be whiners!

Last edited by unaluna; Jul 10, 2014 at 02:26 PM.
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  #80  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 02:24 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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I actually did not understand anything in your post, Hankster- even the dancing part I did not understand which is why I asked.
I just like dancing alone. I don't mind it with others, but alone is just as fun and sometimes more for me. And I have no idea what it has to do with believing or being reassured by a therapist.
I would not dance near or around or with a therapist. I mean dance literally here.
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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Last edited by stopdog; Jul 10, 2014 at 03:15 PM.
  #81  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 03:20 PM
Anonymous200320
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I don't doubt that the questions are not applicable to everyone.

I don't get the connection between a therapist saying you are an okay person and them taking pride in their work.
I apologise. I will not post again.
  #82  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 04:26 PM
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Mast -I was trying to acknowledge you were correct about applicability. And my not getting the connection was sincere in that I simply did not get the connection. It was not a criticism of you.
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Last edited by stopdog; Jul 10, 2014 at 05:02 PM.
  #83  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 07:10 PM
blur blur is offline
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stop, the "dancing alone" expression isn't about physical dancing.
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  #84  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 07:12 PM
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Originally Posted by blur View Post
stop, the "dancing alone" expression isn't about physical dancing.
Oh, seriously? I thought it was.

I would have understood fencing. Or jousting. Or anything that takes more than one person no matter what. I just don't see general dancing like that.
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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Last edited by stopdog; Jul 10, 2014 at 07:41 PM.
  #85  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 07:35 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Oh, seriously? I thought it was.

I would have understood fencing. Or jousting.
Oh, yeah. I didn't realize you didn't know it was a metaphor.
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  #86  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 07:40 PM
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Because you CAN dance alone. Quite easily. With or without external music.
Perhaps the use of a specific two person dance that by its very definition takes more than one person would have helped. Like a pas de deux. The deux would have tipped me off.



Hankster and I have a long history of me being completely mystified by her posts. So mostly I have been trying to play with her. And Blur some too.
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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.

Last edited by stopdog; Jul 10, 2014 at 08:04 PM.
  #87  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 08:45 PM
blur blur is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
Hankster and I have a long history of me being completely mystified by her posts. So mostly I have been trying to play with her. And Blur some too.
it was hard to tell if you were serious or kidding. it is a metaphor though.
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  #88  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 08:55 PM
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NowhereUSA NowhereUSA is offline
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tho to be fair, you can still metaphorically dance on your own too

wait. tell me that was what it was a metaphor for... otherwise i have just revealed the gutter from which my mind springs.
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  #89  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 08:57 PM
learning1 learning1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
This puzzles me. Why do you believe or get reassurance from what a therapist tells you if you would not believe it if you said it to yourself? Or why believe them in general? Why give them power? Why do you think them righter than you or others are?
I am struck by how many like it when the therapist tells them they are good or okay or compliments them whatever. Or when the therapist gives advice. Or when one of them thinks they are modeling something for a client. Why do you think the therapist is the correct thing follow or be reassured by rather than yourself?
If not belief, but reassurance- again- why be reassured by a therapist? How does it work differently than just reassuring yourself?
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Originally Posted by learning1 View Post
Partly for the same reasons I ever believe anyone, give anyone power, or think anyone is righter than I am. If I never thought I was wrong when others had a different point of view, that seems like it would be pretty elitist, lonely, sad, and inaccurate. I often try to consider the other person's point of view if they disagree with mine; I often try to think of ways to accommodate their thinking within mine, or just to change mine, so I can be more accepting and understand more realities. There are also situations where I have strong beliefs- or experience or knowledge- and then I'm okay with disagreeing with their thinking though.

I guess maybe that's kind of my ideal or somewhat-default approach to people in general, whether they're young, old, accomplished, un-accomplished, retarded, gifted, street-savvy, street-ignorant, etc. I hope they have some realities I can identify with and enjoy or learn with them.

Another part of a reason I'm inclined to believe a therapist is because their job is to help me, and I think most of them want to do that, and that they are trying and possibly have some abilities or skills to do that, the same as most professionals make an effort with their jobs and their skills.
Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I was not challenging those of you who do or trying to talk you out of it nor was I looking for anyone to criticize how I do it. I just wondered if you knew why you did or how it helped you since it is in no way what I find useful. I like to hear how and why even while it is not what approach works for me and since I find this so very baffling.
I'm thinking the concern about being critical came from my post, since you (SD) posted it just after mine. I can see how mine would come across as critical even though that's not how I meant it.

My perception is that people usually post questions because they are questioning their own ways of understanding or doing things. But where you wrote "it is not what approach works for me" it sounded like you aren't questioning your own way of doing things. So then I started wondering why someone would be interested to hear how or why other people do things, if they had no interest in considering how it compares to the way they do things themselves.
  #90  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 09:09 PM
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I've only heard of the saying "the sound of one hand clapping."

I too am unclear what the dancing alone metaphor is about.
  #91  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 09:45 PM
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Originally Posted by growlycat View Post
I've only heard of the saying "the sound of one hand clapping."

I too am unclear what the dancing alone metaphor is about.
I'm sure it's related to the metaphor "it takes two to tango" when used to describe a fight between two people. A fight takes two people participating to happen. If only one does, it's not a fight, it's abuse.
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  #92  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 09:47 PM
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Originally Posted by HazelGirl View Post
I'm sure it's related to the metaphor "it takes two to tango" when used to describe a fight between two people. A fight takes two people participating to happen. If only one does, it's not a fight, it's abuse.
I don't agree with this. If only one fights, the other could be being passive aggressive or immune or any number of other things.

I took the dancing alone metaphor as a happy good thing. Not a fight. If I say I have just been dancing alone in the moonlight - I do not mean it as a negative rat all.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
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Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  #93  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 09:52 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by learning1 View Post
My perception is that people usually post questions because they are questioning their own ways of understanding or doing things. But where you wrote "it is not what approach works for me" it sounded like you aren't questioning your own way of doing things. So then I started wondering why someone would be interested to hear how or why other people do things, if they had no interest in considering how it compares to the way they do things themselves.
Ah - no - I am just curious - I really just like to hear about it and see if I can understand it. Many times I just do not get why it would work. And the explanations and examples at least put it in a context for me. I have no desire to become it - I am not questioning my way of doing things most of the time- I just want to know about what others do since I am so often faced with information that my way is not particularly the norm. Does that clarify it better?
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
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Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
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  #94  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 09:53 PM
blur blur is offline
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i've always understood "you can't dance alone" to be like "no man is an island". meaning life is ultimately about relationships.
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  #95  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 09:53 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by stopdog View Post
I don't agree with this. If only one fights, the other could be being passive aggressive or immune or any number of other things.

I took the dancing alone metaphor as a happy good thing. Not a fight. If I say I have just been dancing alone in the moonlight - I do not mean it as a negative rat all.
I would say passive-aggressive is a form of fighting

I wasn't arguing whether "it takes two to tango" is accurate. I was saying that the idea that "it takes more than one person to dance" as a metaphor comes from the same idea. You need more than one person in order to have a relationship or to thrive in life.
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  #96  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 09:55 PM
Anonymous100110
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Am I the only person who has the song "I Could Have Danced All Night" going through their brain right now?

(Okay. Back to my quiet corner.)
  #97  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 10:07 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Originally Posted by 1914sierra View Post
Am I the only person who has the song "I Could Have Danced All Night" going through their brain right now?

(Okay. Back to my quiet corner.)
No - I have it too competing with Dancing in the moonlight Everybody's feeling warm and bright It's such a fine and natural sight doodoodooodoo (because I can't remember all the lyrics - so then I go back to hearing Julie Andrews)
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  #98  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 10:12 PM
Anonymous100110
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It's the curse of being a musician. I can come up with a song for just about anything and they get stuck in my head for days.
  #99  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 10:18 PM
stopdog stopdog is offline
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Originally Posted by 1914sierra View Post
It's the curse of being a musician. I can come up with a song for just about anything and they get stuck in my head for days.
Sometimes I just get my part stuck. And most of the instruments I played did not carry the melody - so when I hum it out loud - it brings some looks. I also played in several Renaissance instrumental groups - humming the crumhorn or shawm line really gets everyone to join in.
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Selfishness is not living as one wishes to live, it is asking others to live as one wishes to live.
Oscar Wilde
Well Behaved Women Seldom Make History - Laurel Thatcher Ulrich
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.
  #100  
Old Jul 10, 2014, 10:23 PM
Anonymous100110
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LOL!!! I get that. My son always sings the barisax parts to everything. I didn't even realize there were that many barisax parts to music.
Thanks for this!
stopdog
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