Male or Female T for Transference

I would like to know why it doesn't matter if you have a male or female therapist to work on your Transference hang-ups. For example, if you're a female and had trouble with your mother, you transfer the love/hate problems onto a male therapist as easily as a female therapist....etc. Can someone explain this?

Maybe its because the T relationship mirrors what SHOULD have been a parental relationship when you were younger.

So, it makes no difference what gender a T is, it matters that they show caring towards you.

I don't think all is equal per say... For example, I think some therapists will be better at eliciting strong transference reactions from you period. You will just feel closer and more related to certain people, like we all do. If your problem is your mother you might have trouble trusting a female T, or conversely maybe a female T will best remind you more of a mother figure, it really can be different for everyone. Just the same you can have maternal transference feelings for a male T, but just because you can have transference for either gender doesn't mean they are equal though. Each transference will be different depending on the chemistry and mix of your personality and history, with the therapists personality and history.

The reason it's possible to have these feelings is because they are related to unconscious needs for things like love and security, and both men and women can offer that.

I think that it's definitely stronger if the genders line up, but because transference is more than gender, it can be triggered by characteristics or the client's perception of the relationship.

Thanks. It's an interesting subject.

My PrevT said you can have maternal, paternal and anger transference...all with the same T.
I experienced maternal transference occasionally with a male PDoc. I was having a difficult conversation..and he left and brought me a carton of milk. Lol

"Anger transference"- where you are expressing anger at your T but you are really not mad at them and instead mad at a person from your past?

I don't know. To be honest, I feel like the word "transference" is something that people on this site use to describe having any sort of feeling at all for their Which is a little invalidating in my opinion. I have tons of feelings for my T that are actually about her and not misplaced. Plus, the maternal transference I feel is very real. I see her as mom. Yeah she's not actually my mom, but that doesn't mean the feelings are false.

I don't know. Transference is clearly a real thing but I just feel like people say if a lot to try and "justify" having. feelings.

I think that the gender of the T DOES matter (at least for me) as does the type of relationship. I saw a male T for a while, and really didn't experience much transference.

I completely agree. The idea that any feelings that you have towards your T can be chalked up to "transference" totally bugs me. I actually had this conversation with my T. I told her that my take on it was that some reactions and feelings that I have in therapy are definitely transference, but some of them are just feelings-which I have because she is a real person, that I have a real relationship with, and she completely agreed with me.

So, if my T brought me a glass of milk, I could feel so happy and loved; but I could also hesitate because I'm wondering if it might have a micky finn in it!

I have a male T for the first time after several females, I have a different relationship with him than the others - probably because I think he's hot I wasn't attracted to the females at all. I talked to them like mother figures or wise ones. Current T isn't old enough to be my father, he's about my age, but it's nice to be able to talk to a guy for a change.