Therapist taking off shoes?

This is weird to me, and I'm curious if anyone else has experienced it.

I had my second session with the new T. It actually went surprisingly well, despite what I thought might be some hiccups at the beginning... and I'm feeling sort of cautiously optimistic and (dare I say) hopeful.

But... early in the session, he casually kicked off his shoes.

I would say I'm shocked... but I realized, my (very long time ago) previous male T would do the same thing. (I can't remember a female T every doing this though!!!) There's no talking about it, it's not like they ask... "hey, are you ok if I kick off my shoes?". It's right in the middle of us talking and then... you know, rustling around feet struggling to be free.

I'm not really sure that I'm 100% comfortable with this. It feels weird. If a client did it, I feel like it would be interpreted badly. Plus, while he's struggling to get his shoes off (without touching them, all by feet wiggling - no hands!) I can't help but wonder if he's paying attention to what I'm saying, or if he's just thinking, "darn it, that left shoe NEVER comes off".

I can't actually remember if/when/how he put them back on... maybe when I was looking for my check at the end? I don't know.

So, I'm dying to know now... do your Ts remove their shoes in session? Are you ok with it? Would you say something if it happened at a second session?

Unprofessional.

Oh heck no! Maybe if the socks are still on, but even then, sorry, not comfortable with that. Keep your shoes on T.

My T has never done it, but I do it quite regularly

My t never did that, but if she did I would be ok with it, since its so not her I would say something like do your feet hurt ? Lol .

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Weird. Unless he suddenly ie THAT MOMENT developed swollen feet. In which case he has bigger ie cardiac problems that need to be dealt with asap. I expect my ts to practice and model enough self-care that they dont wear shoes that hurt.

Now i used to have a t that had these gorgeous designer driving moccasins, which unfortunately reeked of shoe glue fumes. I made him wrap them up in a plastic bag. I swear i could lick the oil off my lips. It was gross. He seemed like he felt awkward with his giganto stocking feet but i didnt care. I googled it, the stuff gave people neurological disorders.

Weird. I don't think I would like that. Feet kind of gross me out...

My t and I both take our shoes off. Free the toes!

Hmm.... OK, so lots (more!) for me to think about...

He DOES have socks on, yes, he's otherwise dressed appropriately (not casually, though I don't remember details).

It does seem really weird. But it's frustrating, so far, this T seems to be the "best" for me that I've tried (weirdness aside).

He has 2 offices... this was at his main office. I don't remember him doing it during the first session, which was at the other office (he's only there once a week). Next week I go back to the "other" office. I'm kind of curious now to see if he didn't take off his shoes there because a) it was my first session or b) it's not his "home" office, so he's not as comfortable there. I'm going to watch and see!!!

Oh Hankster, yeah, there's no way I could deal with super smelly glue fumes. Just, no. I hate stuff like that too... I wouldn't be able to focus at all!

HealingTimes - just out of curiousity, did you mention it to your T or ask first? I'd feel odd taking off my shoes and would probably check out how T felt about it first, but I don't know, maybe I wouldn't feel that way if it were a longer-term relationship...

I don't know that it's the "grossness" factor for me. More that a) it seems a bit too casual, and b) I don't think it's appropriate to do something that is basically "the beginning of getting undressed". I've seen in books where T's interpret all sorts of similar things from clients. It just doesn't seem like an appropriate message to send. Maybe if they had a desk or something, so their feet weren't visible... but when we're basically just facing each other with nothing in between, ummm... not so good!

Yeah, bare feet have their time and place, but in the office of my therapist during session isn't one of them. At home, at the pool, etc., fine, but otherwise I'd prefer people keep their shoes on.

LOL thanks for the laugh - I was typing and didn't see this.

You guys didn't start doing this at the first or second session did you? Or maybe you did? And, are you and your T of the same gender? I'm female... T is male... 2nd session...

Maybe I will take the tack next time that was suggested before, asking... "Are your feet bothering you?" (Ha - then if he says no, I can say, "ok, well they're bothering me - so maybe we can keep our shoes on?" )

I always took my shoes off if I was wearing socks, and I would then put my feet up on the couch, either tucked under me or crossed legged or some other position, whatever was comfortable. If I had bare feet and sandals I would keep my shoes on and suffer with just crossing my legs demurely or putting one over my knee like men often sit.

My T would occasionally take her shoes off as well, and tuck her feet up, too. Sometimes she tucked her feet up without taking her shoes off, but it was her furniture so she could do what she wanted. I never put my shoes on her furniture though.

I liked that she did it as it made the situation more cozy and natural and familiar. I don't like the professional part of therapy.

My T doesn't allow feet on his furniture, which I really appreciate (and can understand considering the amount of foot traffic his couch could theoretically see). I don't want to sit where someone else's feet have been if I don't know who they are (like I said, home and family is a different story). I kind of liken it to at school when I tell students not to sit on the cafeteria tables or the tops of desks in the classroom. No one wants to eat or work where your butt has been. It's just gross to think about.

T's office is a no-shoe zone, which is pretty normal here for indoor workplaces. It wouldn't be weird if shoes were allowed, but I would say that it is more common to have a shoes-off policy, especially for health care related workplaces. He wears sandals, I wear socks. (Well, he's got socks on as well - bare feet are not considered okay at work.)
Different countries, different customs. I know that stockinged feet are considered slightly rude in many cultures, but in countries where you have to wear warm heavy/waterproof boots for several months every year, it makes sense to remove those shoes at work, so you don't have to walk around in them all day. (I wear sandals at work, too.)

As an aside, I often perch on a desk while teaching, and my students frequently do so, too. It had never occurred to me that anybody could find that revolting.... I have to check with the locals to see whether I should stop doing that! For me, it's not even slightly gross, and I certainly have no problem sitting where people have had their feet, as long as they were not wearing shoes (that would be gross.)

LOL Mastodon, you have greater faith in the cleanliness of other people's socks and feet than I do.

The first one does sometimes take her shoes off to tuck herself up into her chair.
The second one does not.
I keep my shoes on as I would never be comfortable around the therapist without them on. How would I protect myself in shoeless feet?

I do however lean on and sit on tables while teaching. I have no problem eating on a table someone else, who was clothed, sat on. The students are generally in clean clothes and appear washed. I might feel different if I taught in a nudist law school.

Ack! What a frightening thought! Might be the difference between teaching high schoolers and teaching college. High schoolers can truly be gross.

Indeed. Clothes are quite useful.

Interesting that it's normal by you for indoor workspaces to be no-shoe zones! By me, it's generally considered unprofessional to take off your shoes at work. Some people do it, but it's usually women with uncomfortable shoes, and only while working at their desk (they slip their shoes off under their desk to let their feet relax, then slip them back on if they're going to be walking away from the desk at all.)

I hope this isn't too weird - but do you also not wear shoes in the bathrooms at work then? That would be hard for me... generally we consider the bathroom floor to one of the germier, dirtier places - and would definitely not want to be caught without shoes in there!

Re: Sitting on desks... hmmm... I have done this too, and haven't really much about other people doing it. Thankfully there are no desk-type spaces in T's office, or I might just inadvertenly perch up on one!

Sitting on desks/tables doesn't tend to bother me (maybe b/c my food isn't directly contacting the table, and I can always wipe down the table) - BUT once I saw a young kid at the grocery store "sit" on the edge of a vegetable bin !!!! THAT I thought was awful - for the same reason - I don't want his behind in the green beans!!!

I was actually thinking - "how could I possibly quickly escape at the end of a session if I have to stop and put my shoes back on!" LOL!

I'm female, my therapist is male. I'm a bit of a hippie - I sometimes just don't wear shoes at all, and usually wear sandals. We started sitting on the floor, since his chairs are awful, and he asked if I minded if he took his shoes off, which I don't at all. Now it's just routine.

I've never even thought about the "first step to undressing" thing. If a therapist told me that because I took my shoes off, I think I might pass out from laughing.

I don't imagine a t would have a problem keeping their shoes on if it bothered a client.

I don't remember if T has or not but it wouldn't bother me. I also wouldn't worry about him not focusing while slipping off his shoes. Do you have to consciously think about it when taking yours off? I sure don't.

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I always ask first. I have been seeing my T for almost 4 and a half years though, so its pretty comfortable. T said she likes it when I feel able to take my shoes off, it shows that I find the therapy room comfortable and feel 'at home', which is very true, I do

It took a couple of years for me to be able.

I think about *everything* -

OK, no I don't know if he has to think about it. But he MIGHT. You know, like one show is sticking a little too much so you have to put a little pressure on it, or if your feet are uncomfortable and that's prompting you to take off your shoes, or if you're specifically trying to take them off in a quiet manner and not accidentally fling a shoe across the room into the client's lap!

See... lots o' thinking!

It wouldn't bother me at this point...but it might have early on, just because I'm very not used to that kind of thing. The.....freedom of it, I guess lol I'm pretty tightly boundaried and rigid almost sometimes. I think it would be nice if I was able to loosen up enough to take off my shoes but don't see that happening anytime soon.