Attachment article

Apologies for the multi posting, but here is a paragraph from the text that I find rather ridiculous:

"A helpful hint from Allan Schore: we can look into the client’s left eye – which is most connected to the right hemisphere of the brain – to get more accurate read of their emotions. Their right eye is more connected to the left hemisphere and will give us info about what they are thinking rather than feeling. The two can be quite different."

Seriously? You can look into an eye and read the person's emotions based on which brain hemisphere the eye is connected to? I really don't believe that - it has to be a perceived difference rather than an actual one.

That really seems ridiculous... I cannot completely agree/not agree as I do not know the topic in details (I'm not neurologist) but it seems quite impossible... I only knew (and verified on myself) that usually when we try to recall existing memories, we look into upper right corner (maybe not necessarily upper) while when we want to make up stories, often we look into upper left corner... But looking into one eye to read emotions??

I only knew (and verified on myself) that usually when we try to recall existing memories, we look into upper right corner (maybe not necessarily upper) while when we want to make up stories, often we look into upper left corner... [/quote]

Wow! That is interesting. I tried making up a story and looked left automatically then tried to recall something and looked right automatically.

I find the content of the article thought-provoking.

Agreed that the text is a speech and should have been rewritten a bit as an article. Most of it I found pretty spot on based on other reading I've done. My T incorporated a lot of these approaches way way before there were any brain studies to provide evidence, but never used language like in the examples (I did have a group T who used the hands talking bit.)

I don't know about the left eye/right eye contact; but my mother had strokes, and over the years I talked with a lot of neurologists, and more than one told me about the methods they used to diagnose area of injury and evaluate progression of cell death. One of the ways was to cover each eye sequentially while showing pics of common objects. The patient's answers could differ depending upon which eye were covered, and that would indicate which area of the brain was impacted. Now how that translates to conversational observation, I don't know. I think it's likely the T is observing not simply the eye, but the area around the eye. We know faces are not symmetrical, even when they appear to be when viewed casually because when they photographically double the image of each half of the face, the result does not look normal. So I would wonder if the T were unavoidably seeing and registering expression signs around the eye that may be different for each side based upon the brain connection.

ETA: Someone, the gazing left or right is part of Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP). It doesn't predict 100%, but it's strong enough to be used as a factor by law enforcement in interrogations. Whether it can be effectively used as a re-programming tool for trauma, I don't know. I suspect some of EMDR is connected to NLP.

Some of the examples are really cheesy. But my T managed to say a lot of similar things without sounding nearly as cheesy and lame. Occasionally, she will say something that sounds a little cheesy, but I understand what she's trying to do when she does (bring out and focus on certain emotions and experiences), so I follow her lead even if it occasionally sounds a little lame. Most of the time, it's definitely not, though. And I find her interventions very helpful. When I started with therapy, if asked how I was doing or what I was feeling, I would say "I don't know". I had no clue how I was feeling, ever. But now I can tell you what I'm feeling pretty much always, and can most of the time tell you why. I have also learned how to handle and tolerate those emotions, even the stronger negative ones, like anger, sadness, fear, etc... So her techniques are working for me, even though it's a difficult process.

Or, you can respond in kind, ask: "Is there something deep underneath, some deep deep urge to make me laugh?"

I think therapists trying to reflect and not very experienced with it can come off sounding ridiculous as they "practice". I have found it very tempting in the past to reflect their reflections right back at them. I am not a classroom/guinea pig, I'm paying for this!

Thanks. I did go back and read it (Thanks growlycat! 'Sawright!) I have to admit im jealous. Its a good summary of things you dont want to forget as youre doing your daily job as a t. But the lack of references bothered me too.

I skimmed the entire article and found it fascinating. I read one of Dan Siegel's books about the brain and it's interesting to learn about our brain and how we can form new neural pathways.

My T works somewhat like the Ts in the examples, and her holding my hand is specifically for the purpose of calming my nervous system and changing or making new neural pathways iny brain.

She does somatic experiencing so she notices and comments on my twitches, fidgeting,etc. She will say something like " what just happened. You made a face or looked away or dug your hands into the couch".

I don't cry in therapy but when I say I want to, my T asks "what would the tears be saying" I find her question comforting and helpful.

I agree some of those examples are ridiculous like the one about let it come. My T used her own words except for "where in your body do you feel that?"

So, for me the article was validating my T's techniques and I'm not ashamed to admit it. Thank you, stopdog, for posting the link.

I found the examples at the body both humorous and creepy out of the context of the therapy room...

The hand question made me laugh out loud here at work... but I have had Ts ask about how I was feeling when talking about something because I was either twisting a tissue to shreds... or twisting my hands...or scratching my palms... and in that moment I find it highly stressful to try to answer the question...

but if my T asked if my hand could talk what would it say... I probably would have either laughed or said could you stop twisting me and scratching me? It would really distact from the conversation.

my new T catches every facial expression,,,, every stress thing I do when I'm talking or she's asking questions... she asks a lot what does that face mean? it just raises my anxiety when I'm in there.

Oh my God, I could never meet with a T who spoke like this and keep a straight face. I understand the science of it all, but the wording is so silly it sounds like it could be from an SNL skit. My T will say something like "what's happening right now", and I think that and some of the other quotes are totally normal. Maybe it's because of my age (early 40's) but some of the more abstract language just seems weird coming from another adult.

In a class of mine one professor thought this kind of talk was "beautiful". Just not my style, I'm too pragmatic.

I'm actually suprised that many posters found this so cheesy. My T has actually said many of these things using different words and in various contexts. Some examples:

"I sense you might be feeling a little nervous as we begin our session today. Is that right?"

This is something she's said when it was very obvious that something bad had happened on a trip I took and she was being intuitive (right word?) about my feelings.

"As I hear your talk about your brother, I notice something starts to come up in me, right here, in my chest. Can I check that out with you? I’m feeling…an ache, maybe some sadness, a loneliness. Are you feeling anything like that right now?"

She said something similar to me this past week but, unlike the example, didn't tell me what she was feeling in hopes that I would be able to discover/uncover my own feelings (which is something I have a really hard time doing).

"Something just shifted; did something just change for you? Can you let me know what you’re feeling in your body right now?"

If I start to dissociate or most commonly, if I'm shutting down/shutting her out. And, as aforementioned, because I have trouble identifying feelings we discuss it in terms of bodily context.

"Can you feel some compassion for that part that feels upset, that needs to feel upset? If your daughter Kelly were that upset, how would you feel toward her? How would you comfort or soothe her?"

When I confessed an experience I had as a child (one of those secrets that no one else will ever know but that causes deep shame) she asked me to try to feel some compassion for that child part of me who was doing the best she could at the time (I could not; and still don't really). And the second part was similar to when we discussed my inability to allow myself to cry because I was always told that I was being dramatic or annoying or other when I did. She asked if I had a daughter who was crying - how would I respond.

Thank you, Mastodon.

My response to anything where the therapist started out with "I sense...' would annoy me. Just ask me if I am nervous if that is what you want to know. And the something just shifted thing would puzzle me
.

And a couple of times she thought she was clever and would ask me if it was happening to my dog (I have no children nor am are they a soft spot for me). I would respond how I would handle it if possible for it to happen to a dog but would note it did not transfer to whatever she was trying to transfer it to. I find no comfort or reassurance or safety in being treated/talked to/tricked in that fashion.

I haven't read the article, nor all of this thread. I feel bad when I read slurs against people with intellectual disabilities like "slack jawed half wit". I think that as US culture is becoming more accepting of LGBT minorities, there are benefits to many groups in addition to LGBT people, because gender roles get less rigid and constraining for everyone. Similarly, I hope that as people with intellectual disabilities become more accepted and respected, there will be benefits to highly intelligent people, as well as people with intellectual disabilities and people with other levels or types of intelligence. I hope it will encourage people (especially highly intelligent people) to develop more flexibility in the types of human characteristics they can respect, rather than more rigidly focusing on, and judging others based on, intelligence.

Hey, thanks so much for posting this! I am a slow reader, but have been digesting this bit by bit. The reason I like it so much is it seems that there IS hope after all. I've read a million times that if you've got serious attachment issues your screwed for life. I was trying to figure out how I would grow old into the hermit cat lady I'm destined to be without just getting more and more depressed, LOL. But now I'm digging the idea of small improvements bit by bit over time, neuroplasticity!

The examples didn't bother me. Maybe the therapy is getting to me. "We’ve been through such a wave of grief here, and now….there seems to be something else. A letting go…a sigh of relief? What’s happening now?" But when I started therapy I remember being blown away by the ridiculous seeming emotional statements, I remember the first time my T mentioned the "little girl" inside me and I was like, what the what what? I could have vomited. Now I'm different. Now I'm emoting and stuff.

I did find the article, and some others on the site, interesting.