[ScarletPimpernel]

Has anyone accomplished communicating clearly while in an emotional state, and if so, how?

I saw my T yesterday. She said something and I misinterpreted it (what she said doesn't matter in this situation). Instead of directly addressing it, I accepted my perception as truth and shut down. She did try to get me to talk about it, but I was way too vague and she thought I was upset about something else. I went home crying (I interpreted her words as saying she didn't care about me which logically I know is not true). I cried for 5 1/2 hrs straight and wound up self-injuring. Finally my fiance said I either go to the hospital or I let him call her. He called her, left her a msg, and she called me back right away. She talked to my for over 20mins and we thankfully got everything straightened out.

But if I would have just addressed my perception in therapy, I wouldn't have suffered as much as I did. And right now, I really can't afford to be doing this sort of thing to myself.

I don't know how to communicate when I'm upset. I have never been able to. I hold it in and take it on as my own burden. I need to learn to speak up, but I don't know how. I'm great at talking and writing when in a calm state, but when emotional, I can't seem to utilize any mindfulness or logic

[Polibeth]

I don't have any good advice for you. I have the same problem - I just shut down....but I don't get emotional real often. Just know you are not alone!

[NowhereUSA]

sometimes i just need time to process. i've misinterpreted something and then emailed my t and been like, 'so this is what you said, this is what i hear, is this what you meant?' and he'll respond to me. it's taken some training, but now i sort of reflexively ask him in therapy 'what do you mean by that?' or 'can you elaborate?'

you could practice asking during a non-emotional moment, even if you're relatively certain of her meaning.

sorry you had a rough go of it

[HazelGirl]

I tend to slow down and try to figure out exactly what I want her to understand. Rather than throwing all kinds of nasty things at her or talking around the issue and hoping she will guess, I try to identify exactly what I want her to know and say that. For example:

She responded to something I had said in a way that felt dismissive and flippant. I was extremely hurt, and even considering quitting therapy, etc... I wanted to throw all kinds of nasty things at her, like I feel like she doesn't understand me and she is ignoring me, and I'm sure she hates me. But I stopped and realized what I wanted her to know was that her response caused me pain and I felt hurt and dismissed by it. So that's what I ended up saying.

[ThisWayOut]

I do similar things. After the first session with my new T, I was a hot mess, and it took me a whole week to be able to figure out that I misinterpreted her actions and words based on past experiences...
I find it really difficult to speak when I'm anxious, but I tend to write easier. Most of it is just rambling journaling, but I eventually get to what it is that is freaking me out... Does anything like that work for you? Or maybe art to help get the bulk of the emotion out so you can face the other stuff in a more balanced way?

[JustShakey]

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

I do similar things. After the first session with my new T, I was a hot mess, and it took me a whole week to be able to figure out that I misinterpreted her actions and words based on past experiences...
I find it really difficult to speak when I'm anxious, but I tend to write easier. Most of it is just rambling journaling, but I eventually get to what it is that is freaking me out... Does anything like that work for you? Or maybe art to help get the bulk of the emotion out so you can face the other stuff in a more balanced way?

I have to laugh, TWO, I was a mess too after my first session with prevT. Only it took me a year and a half to figure that out

Yeah, emotion and communication do not go together in my world

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[ScarletPimpernel]

Originally Posted by NowhereUSA

you could practice asking during a non-emotional moment, even if you're relatively certain of her meaning.

I like that idea!

I know others suggested writing or art or taking time to process it and that does help. Most things, when I'm able to take the time to process, I can communicate extremely well. The problem is processing in the moment.

Yesterday was horrible. Because of my extreme fears of abandonment and rejection, plus my insurance continually threatening to deny my therapy, the thought of my T not caring about me crushed me.

I couldn't think logically. I accepted my perception as truth which in turn triggered sui thoughts. I tried to get help. I took my anxiety PRN: didn't work. I called a crisis line: they told me I didn't need professional help and to watch a funny movie?!?! I emailed my T (I re-read my email today...I wasn't clear yet again...she thought it was my normal emotional self ). I called my T (somehow my msg cut off after 10 secs so again she didn't realize I was in a crisis). So I turned to my SI... That's when my fiance had enough of it. Good thing he's better at being direct (plus my T told me she knew something was wrong because my fiance would never be allowed to contact her otherwise.)

But all of this could have been avoided. It's not my T's fault. She would have done something if I could have clearly communicated with her at any point of this ordeal. I tried, and I thought I was communicating. But looking back, I clearly was not.

But I think I will definitely bring it up to her that I need to practice asking her to clarify her meaning (even if it's clear...)

Ty all for your suggestions and support!

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

I know others suggested writing or art or taking time to process it and that does help. Most things, when I'm able to take the time to process, I can communicate extremely well. The problem is processing in the moment.

I couldn't think logically. I accepted my perception as truth which in turn triggered sui thoughts. ...
But I think I will definitely bring it up to her that I need to practice asking her to clarify her meaning (even if it's clear...)!

I'm absolutely going through the same thing. Good luck to you.