T told me "don't touch my boob"

im not against it if it was practical, but with their availability i could only "try" one per month, and that just isnt practical. for instance the one i wanted to try yesterday isnt available til august 15, and my insurance says i have to pick someone by august 3rd.

male t's are not an option, not going there dont care how nurturing they can be. thats not for me.

actually it doesnt. a phd means more research, not a psy.d. my bias exists based on 18 years of experience with less educated therapists.

This is why hand holding has no place in therapy.

With respect to Ts' education, I somehow do not find it as important as their experience... Here (not US) people do PhD only if they want to stay in science, so I have PhD (and I really do not think that because of that I am smarter than anyone else) and my exT also had a PhD - and he was a jerk in my very non-objective point of view... My current T has however "only" master degree and she is great and I don't find her "stupid" because of it, she is very experienced in the topic, she publishes papers, goes to conferences and works in the topic for more than 30 years so definitely she knows what she's talking about...

(i dont care where the degree came from just that they have it) this is how i feel too about the phone interviews. the only thing is it isnt the therapists themselves cock blocking me, its their frickin receptionists. i hate dealing with agencies.

i told my insurance about it and they said they will call all the providers im interested in and request that they all give me a call back personally. so we will see which ones call back.

i agree about the experience thing and here I will reiterate- practically all of their masters level providers are brand new providers. its bc theyre just starting out and are at an agency thats forcing them to accept my ****** medicare insurance, and the ones worth their salt know to avoid it like the plague.

I understand- I weeded several,out from the phone interview. Others made it through the phone interview and I met them in person to weed them out. I also do not choose males therapists. It is for you, be as choosy as you like is my opinion. It does limit you in some ways of course, but if it works for you, then good. I am the opposite about degrees, I have a couple of advanced degrees and don't think they are that big of a deal to get or have so I put very little faith in them. Plus the most batshit crazy one of them I ever saw had a phd. Time in practice can be very important, I believe.

I would talk about that with your T. Maybe write her a letter. It was a harsh reaction, and kind of bizarre really.

On the degrees thing, my current T with "just" a masters is far better than my former T with a PHD. My PHD T was pretty cold too ironically. Maybe the ones getting their PHD are just into the academic stuff, whereas the ones with masters and counseling licenses wanted to hurry up and work with real people? LOL, just a thought. One final comment on this... I would bet all my money that my current T with a masters is also smarter than the PHD T.

I'm with Petra5ed. That was very bizarre. Had it been said in a joking manner I could understand, but based on your posts, she was NOT joking. Yikes.

I don't understand why you were sitting that way with her and that close. Do you sit that way for the whole session? I would be uncomfortable with that position, with anybody. I would have to set a limit or boundary way before the accidental boob touching. I wonder if she was reacting to being too physically close and that touch was just what made her realize that the whole thing was over the line for her.

no, i asked her to sit by me for the last five, maybe eight minutes of the session, and she did (she usually does). but not for the entire session. in the first year though, we used to. she would hold me on the couch for the whole session.

Generally speaking, I also see the value of a T with experience over a less experienced T (higher degrees, in my experience, don't determine a better T...although I have had some excellent and very caring Ts with PhDs).

However, in your situation, I think you should consider if you are gaining much of anything from the experienced T you have right now? She has been cold and distant with you since your rupture (to put it mildly). Her experience has not made her a better T for you!

Perhaps consider the value of meeting with some less experienced (even male) Ts and see if you feel comfortable with any of them. If your only other option vs. your current T is a possibly warmer, more positive and caring T (albeit less experienced), consider what you really have to lose over your current situation?

"Keep better track of where your boobs are, *****!"

Ugh. I'm sorry. I know you're terminating with her, but can she be helpful for the time you have left? She sounds about as pleasant as a ripe case of athlete's foot.

I know experience is important, and working with new therapists in agencies isn't ideal; they don't have a lot of real-world experience, they move on frequently. They do, however, have a lot of supervision, and often a lot of enthusiasm. Maybe as you talk to some of them, you can have an honest dialog about why you're afraid of working with them, borderline, what you want and need from them, what they can do, and whether they have adequate agency support for difficult cases.

I've had some really crappy PhD therapists, and some amazing master's level therapists.

Best of luck to you. All of this is hard.

i find that they usually dont want to work with me bc of my diagnosis, or else they just flounder and dont know what to do with me. i am very likeable (at first) but i can be very mean, too, and its part of the counter transference sometimes but the newbies cant deal and its not fair to ask them to. i used to say i scared off trainees from the field into choosing new professions after being subjected to me, lol

But isn't your current, abusive T a Psy.D.? Hasn't been any guarantee of quality there it doesn't look like.

I;m sorry you had to experience this. Unless you are clearly groping a person, a reaction like that is obnoxious - she doesn't have very good social skills. I'd actually have a hard time relating to or even wanting to speak to my T if she (or even my male pdoc) behaved this way. If you can, I would bring it up with her and if she throws it back on you show her this thread.

No, a PhD means you are a medical doctor and can prescribe medication. You have training in medicine and how it affects your body.

A phd does not mean you are a medical dr. And most phds cannot, by law write prescriptions in the United States

Oops. You're right. I had things mixed up.

But a PhD doesn't have anything to do with psychology.

There are PhDs in psychology, but that is more of a research degree. PsyD is a clinical degree for therapists who are more focused on practicing with clients than on writing and research.

I think psychiatrists are MDs.

FWIW, anytime I refer to my "boob" I intend it humorously, because it's such a stupid sounding word. I wonder if it is at all possible that this woman was trying (maybe failing) to make light of the situation by phrasing it that way.

That apologizing...."for the way you feel, etc." ICK...Instead of saying I am sorry I upset/hurt you. SHe sounds unprofessional and arrogant.
I just hate that word, "boob"--the original meaning is someone who is an idiot.

I think that word is so disrespecful to women. Breast, can't we say that?

I find it odd that your T was that close to you in the first place.....NEVER in any of my last 20 years of therapy have I ever sat that close to any T that I have ever had.....I would not be comfortable.....& IMO, in most cases, that kind of closeness in NOT appropriate. There are some exceptions & depending on what the therapy is......but I don't think I would ever choose to have that kind of closeness with a T....& the situation that you experienced is just one of the reasons.....too many things that can happen that weren't necessarily meant...but it opens up for the possibility of too many wrong interpretations.....not healthy in therapy as there are too many other things that are of importance that need to be dealt with to get side tracked on stuff like that.

One would have their ph.d in psychology. Different psychology ph.d programs focus on different areas depending one where one goes and what one's interest is in.

You can have a PhD in psychology.

Just a thought:
There are PhD's in psychology. You can get a PhD in Developmental Psychology, Organizational Psychology, Social Psychology, Forensic Psychology etc. The PhD who usually provides therapy is a PhD in Clinical Psychology. There is a big research component to this PhD, but many who get this degree love the hands on part of clinical psychology and decide to practice.

A Psy D. in Clinical Psychology is a degree that was developed pretty recently, in the last 30 or 35 years. It was developed for individuals who were interested in strictly pursuing the "clinical" aspect of psychology. Students have to write a dissertation but all their practicums and internships are in clinical areas.