[infoonptsd]

I wish I had seen this section when I posted in the PTSD section. Not sure where it is best to put these.

I have met with a couple of therapist over the last 20 years, but none have I ever really talked to until now. I have just started with a therapist that I almost instantly trust (which is WAY out of sorts for me). He feels I have PTSD, which I am beginning to acknowledge more as I try to understand oddities, but I am finding myself really worried about doing things 'wrong' in sessions. Now I KNOW you can not mess up therapy, but I can't help but think and wonder what he thinks of what I say to him, does my body language say something else, are my reactions normal... etc.... I am noticing I say one thing at one time, believing it 100%, and then a few days later find that I do the opposite of what I said I do or I don't do what I said I do or....... you get the idea.
I am very good at reading people, but he is very good at not being read. I know the relationship must be about trust and I shockingly do trust him and am worried that if I go in and say I am scared of him(LOL) that it will be taken as I don't trust him and I don't want that. Not sure here.

[glok]

Hello, infoonptsd

Psychotherapy - Psych Central
http://www.wellsphere.com/mental-hea...therapy/782440
5 Things Not to Worry About in Therapy | World of Psychology
6 Ways to Open Up and Talk in Therapy | World of Psychology

I wish you well.

[NowhereUSA]

they aren't there to catch you in something. idk. we def. give off body language but i don't think of it as a 'tell'. your t will pick up that you're nervous or that you're tense or whatever. and if you are scared then he can help you work through that. let yourself just 'be' in therapy. i've discovered that 'normal' is quite an extensive range. as you get more comfortable with your t, it'll even out.

[infoonptsd]

Thanks,
I did tell him yesterday that i couldn't read him and it makes things very hard on me not knowing what he is thinking about what I say and he laughed and said he knew and it was supposed to be that way. We laughed about it because one of my biggest issues is people pleasing and doing things right and he unreadability is not letting me do that... lol.. gee, gotta love therapy I guess

[HazelGirl]

Yeah, mine is totally unreadable as well, and it makes me so nervous. I'm never 100% sure how okay she is, or whether I'm doing something wrong.

But, I am learning that she isn't there to judge me or to tell me that I'm doing anything wrong. She's there to help me. The way I can be the best client is to be honest and open about my experiences.

And I ask if I get too worried about her reaction.

[monkeybrains21]

My T doesn't really react to what I say usually. I have only started to really trust her after 2yrs seeing her. For a while I tested the waters per se, she called me out on it a few months ago. I just have to be certain I know how far I push and can push before she thinks I've gone too far. I kinda got scared a few weeks after she called me out. We mentioned my SI which I thought we had talked of before and she kinda seemed to act very quickly in asking all about it. What I use when was this when's the last time etc. it really kinda freaked me out and I thought she was going to have me hospitalized.

She didn't she doesn't really ask about it anymore and I feel on safer ground now. But I did close off some an I think it has prevented me from speaking more. Last session I was very quiet and didn't answer her questions. I kinda shut down. Dunno what's going to happen next time.

[stopdog]

I see two who claim to be psychodynamic and they both react to things all the time. In fact I think they over-react. So it is possible to find those who react if that is what you want. I don't think it matters if a therapist thinks or is told a client does not trust them. I think that therapists are both used to it and that it would be great folly to blindly trust any of them.