[sweepy62]

So I called t Thursday afternoon and told her to call me back as soon as she could. I havent seen her in 2 weeks and I dont make a habit of calling, if I do I never ask her to call me back.

The reason for this call was that my h mother passed at home on Wednesday, and I was unsure about a couple of things, it was just h and I when this happened, and h was emotional. I was with her during her 4 last breaths which were traumatizing to me.

There could be many reasons why t has not called, but the way im feeling , all I could do is think negative. My brother in law from nyc is staying with us, I cant really sleap, I sneak up on them when they are sleeping and check thier chest, for breathing movements.

Still no call from t, dont even feel like facing her on Wednesday.

[kororain]

Call again. Tell the receptionist you need to talk to T right away. (Does she have a receptionist?)

[growlycat]

I'm sorry to hear about your mother in law.

Yes, definitely call T again--maybe she didn't get the message

[Leah123]

Oh Sweepy I'm sorry to hear that, I know it's a very stressful, upsetting, difficult time for you. I hope and imagine it was just an oversight on your therapist's part or her office and I hope you hear back some reassurance soon. (Sweepy)

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by kororain

Call again. Tell the receptionist you need to talk to T right away. (Does she have a receptionist?)

I have her direct number.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Leah123

Oh Sweepy I'm sorry to hear that, I know it's a very stressful, upsetting, difficult time for you. I hope and imagine it was just an oversight on your therapist's part or her office and I hope you hear back some reassurance soon. (Sweepy)

Thanks leah, I would hope so, she has always reassured me she would get back to me if I asked her to call me back. She has gotten past messages from me.

[HazelGirl]

Maybe a glitch happened. It honestly could. Technology isn't 100% reliable. I definitely think it's important to call again. I'm so sorry that you felt traumatized by your mother-in-law's death. That can be so hard.

[Rive.]

Goodness, sorry to read you had to go through this with your mil sweepy.

Could you send T another voicemail with the gist of why you are wanting a call back? Maybe she was busy, something came up and/or she doesn’t realise the urgency of the message..

Might be worth trying again as you could do with some support. Please, do call her again.

[Depletion]

Does T email? Sometimes T's are easier to get on email.

[Gavinandnikki]

Wow, I'd be pissed if I called about a family member dying and didn't get a response.

That would feed in to the "I'm just a client" fear that I always had.

Hugs for being there when it mattered. Tough stuff.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Depletion

Does T email? Sometimes T's are easier to get on email.

no she does not use email as part of communication, I just feel awkward to start with, even calling and she knows this, and she urges me to call her everytime, and to ask her to call me back. and this one time I ask for a callback, I dont get one.

[iheartjacques]

I'm so sorry it's been difficult. I'd feel extremely let down if that happened to me.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by Gavinandnikki

Wow, I'd be pissed if I called about a family member dying and didn't get a response.

That would feed in to the "I'm just a client" fear that I always had.

Hugs for being there when it mattered. Tough stuff.

She is always asking me to call her if I need her, and on several occasions maybe 3 out of 5 months I have left her 2 voicemails, just to vent, and have said we will talk about this is session, the other time, I called to leave a message, she picked up. When I left a message this time, telling her I needed her to call me back , because of what happened, she knew my mil and the situation, and she always urged me to say call me back, so I took the chance and I said t call me back, and she never called back. This was last thursday, the 17th . I see her tomorrow, and I am feeling kind of awkward amongst other feelings. I know it could have been a glitch, or she could have been out of the office, or not checked her messages, but she has checked them before.

[Aloneandafraid]

I am so sorry, Sweepy. Sending you love and hugs and thinking of you at this terribly difficult time.

[coolibrarian]

Originally Posted by sweepy62

I have her direct number.

Call again and say it's an emergency. Sorry you have to go through this, Sweepy.

[HazelGirl]

Your T is a very good T so far, Sweepy. This isn't normal for her to ignore your call, which is why I think something happened with either the voicemail and her not receiving it, or just her maybe being out of town and not getting it. This isn't normal for her, so you will have to trust her, even when it's hard.

[NowhereUSA]

If she's normally very good, then i would say that there's a hiccup somewhere. who knows why? but i'd give her another call and i'd state very clearly that it's an emergency. i've lost my phone before :-/ in fact, my landline is currently unplugged because we were doing some cleaning and i've kind of not plugged it in for two weeks. i remember like every three days to go online and check my voicemails. and still have no plugged it in... er... yeah...

[Perna]

It is hard but I think one has to keep an eye on one's goal and, if you want to talk to T and do not get a call back in a reasonable period of time (48 weekday/work hours, that would have been Monday at the latest) then you call again. I remember when I was initially referred to a clinic and my therapist and was supposed to call and get an appointment and I called and was put on hold for over 20 minutes before the phone system itself disconnected us. I did not know what to do? :-) I called back the therapist who had instructed me to call/referred me and she was upset at the situation, that I had waited on hold that long and taught me how the assertive/self esteem thing was to wait a minute or two, hang up and call again and explain you were on hold too long :-) Depending on when you see your T this week, if not until Thursday or Friday, I would call, leave another message that you called last week and did not hear back from her and suspect she did not get that message but you would really like her to call you today or first thing tomorrow.

Just call her back. No telling what happened, but she's always been responsive in the past so there is probably an explanation that has nothing to do with you.

Sorry to hear about your MIL Sweepy. I bet you really could have used to talk to your T on Thursday or even Friday. I wish she was able to return your call but she may not have received your message or wasn't able to for some other reason.

Your next session is tomorrow so if the need isn't as immediate as it once was you could wait to talk to her in the session. I would definitely share that it was upsetting to you that you didn't get a call back but like others are saying there is probably circumstances that surround that .

Unfortunately, are Ts are only available to us when they are available... its not like a friend or a sister who will drop everything at a moments notice to help out... no matter how much we wish it and no matter how much they say to call they can't always be available... and boy that really sucks sometimes.

[sweepy62]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Your T is a very good T so far, Sweepy. This isn't normal for her to ignore your call, which is why I think something happened with either the voicemail and her not receiving it, or just her maybe being out of town and not getting it. This isn't normal for her, so you will have to trust her, even when it's hard.

Yes , its very unlike her, I think I will wait till tomorrow to see her and ask, I dont see the point in calling one day before I see her, although a part of me would like to call. What if she says, I been busy or I forgot, then I would be pissed.

[clairelisbeth]

I'm so sorry for everything that you are going through! And leaving a vm for T and not hearing back when things are so tough is definitely upsetting. Technology is not always dependable though-it could be that she just didn't get the message. I once texted my T about something important and never heard back. I spent the entire weekend + several days feeling alternately livid and incredibly hurt. Come session, it turns out that for some reason, the text never went through. She even showed me her phone (with the texts between her and I). I'd call again.

[sweepy62]

Readytostop: I think it bothers me alot, 1. Because I was expecting the call and 2. Because she was nagging me about me not leaving a voice mail saying t, call me back, I never request a callback, I specifically say do not call me back. So her challenge for me was to say t, call me back. So I said t, can you please call me at this number at your earliest convenience.

[sweepy62]

SO GUESS WHAT? MY T CALLED she apologized, and said my voicemail got shuffled.

[NowhereUSA]

see! it happens. glad she called you