[bounceback]

This really bugs me about my therapist. Sometimes I will talk about stuff that are important to me and I feel like she takes this approach like she heard it all before and it is no big deal. I am having a hard time explaining exactly what I mean. Sometimes I just end up frustrated. If anybody understands what I mean please respond.

[glitterrosez89]

I don't have a therapist right now, but I have felt this way with therapists in the past. I would say something that I find super traumatizing, and they would just nod and say "okay" or "yeah." It was so annoying and frustrating, but then at the same time, I had to ask myself -- what exactly did I *want* them to do? Freak out and throw things? Exclaim, "OMG I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HAPPENED."?

So yeah, it's a frustrating thing for sure. I think I'm always looking for someone to say or do the right thing that will make it all better, when that response may not even exist.

[feralkittymom]

I would guess that it's either a lack of attunement or could it be that your presentation isn't making your associated feelings clear? If you've had a good working relationship in the past with this T, then it could be the T is still trying to assess the direction of your feelings about what you're saying.

[lostwonder]

I've dealt with this. Saying something was well worth it. Basically he ended up apologizing for in attempt to normalize things, he failed to validate them.

[BeGentle]

Yep. I understand what you're saying. I've told him big stuff and he's actually forgotten. That just happened last week and this time I am going to bring it up and tell him it pissed me off that we have talked about this particular thing for the third time and "you" don't remember.

I was with another T long ago and I swear I bored the pants off her. This guy is very present but he can fake it too. He is so controlled it drives me crazy. I said that to him and he disagreed. However, one day I made a comment about how horrible parents can be to their children. He perked up and said "I cannot beleive how YOU grew up"; meaning, he really his paying attention to all I say, even when I think he is not. Sometimes I think he is stunned by some of what I say about my childhoood, but he keeps very cool about it. He has said to me that most people have not gone through what I have experienced. I try to minimize, cuz you can't see any scars; so in my mind it wasn't "that" bad. Wrong, it was really bad. Sorry for the rant. Your concern would be very hard to bring up in session, buy you should try. Times and concerns like this can really enhance the alliance, once it's out in the open and understood.

[stopdog]

I find the woman too overly not lackadaisical about things I do not think are important and too lackadaisical about the the things I do find important. So I tell her not to talk because she is so off on things.

I think sometimes we want our unbearable feelings to be exhibited by T instead of us. But, containment can feel like non reaction.

[Petra5ed]

I've felt like this before a little bit. On the flip side of this, I just think if my therapist flipped out and made a big deal of things, I might make a bigger deal of them too and that wouldn't be good. Maybe it's a matter of how you look at it? I never felt like my therapist didn't care about me or was secretly bored and unimpressed when I say something difficult about a situation that was traumatizing or humiliating. If that was my impression, yeah it would bug me. But, I do like that he can make something that I've built up to be super bad in my mind seem like less of a big deal, kind of help me process it in a less doom and gloom way so I can move on. Maybe that's all your T is trying to do?

[kororain]

Yeah, sometimes mine does that too.

What I found annoying was when she would always have a "quick solution" for something that had bothered me for years. I hate it beause... I'm a smart person... but when someone has an answer so quickly for something that has plagued you for years... it makes you feel stupid.



It's also annoying to be treated like a textbook case of whatever. Like they "read you" and "diagnose you" effortlessly... like you're some kind of boring science experiment.

Annoying.