[SeptemberRain]

Just wondering if anyone has expressed their love to their T. Has anyone told their T that they love him/her? Did you actually say, "I love you." How did your T respond?

I have been seeing my T for about 3 years. I think that I love her. I'm very attached to her and we've talked about it several times throughout therapy. Though I've never told her how much I'm attached, I kind of think she knows. She's been a T for a long time and she's quite competent.

She recently gave me a card after I reached a pretty big milestone in my life. She signed the card, "Love, T." I've been thinking how much I am attached to her, how I am so grateful for her help, and how I love her. I know I only know her for one hour a week and I only know so much about her (she discloses sometimes so she is definitely not a blank slate kind of T - I do think I see some of her "real" personality).

Anyway, I've had this growing sense of love inside of me and I really want to express it to her. I think (hope?) she would be receptive to it, especially because she already used the word in her card (although I know that's not the same as "I love you").

I'm wondering for those who have expressed their love...how did you do it? How did you know when the time was right? I so badly want to say it to her. I've kept so many people out of my life and she's helping me be able to be vulnerable and have deeper connections. I want to say it but I've tried the last 2 weeks and just couldn't get it out. I was more shut down, I think because I got so nervous to be so vulnerable. I dunno. I know I don't have to tell her, but I'd really like to be able to, at some point when it's right. I'd love to hear about other people's experiences. Thanks!

[ScarletPimpernel]

My T has never said "I love you." But she has talked about having love for me (close enough). My T is very much about love, but she's not the "mushy" "lovey dovey" type. For her, love is defined and not simply a feeling.

I have written my T "I love you", but she has never brought it up. We do however talk about my "attachment" to her, my Pdoc, and people in my past. I think we don't talk about it much because she wants me to accept my feelings; that they are normal and not an "issue". I don't mind so long as she reassures me when I need reassurance.

My t and i say i love you to each other all the time.

[junkDNA]

i love my T. i wonder how he would respond if i told him that. its not a sexual or romantic love.

i feel that T has strong feelings for me. i hesitate to say that he loves me. because well i just dont know.. but i do know he cares a lot. i feel like T would not tell me he loves me because of what happened with my former therapist. honestly i feel like i wouldnt want him to say it either. i believe i would find it triggering.

he knows that he means a lot to me. because i have said that a couple times to him.

but still i wonder what he would say if i said the word love

[MoxieDoxie]

I am suspicious of any man that says I love you without trying to have sex with me and I can not say I love you to any man without wanting to have sex with them. I can not seperate the two. Love means sex to me. Period.

[growlycat]

To my main T, yes. And over the years he went from signing cards "Fondly" to "Affectionately" to saying love to me directly. He has said …"you know of my devotion to you…" Then again I've known him over 20 years

[Parley]

I haven't known my therapist that long and I don't know if I'd
ever say I love you but I don't think she'd be surprised to hear it after three years. That's a lot of sharing.

[feralkittymom]

I think when you can say it without feeling the anxiety of vulnerability, it's the right time.

[Aloneandafraid]

I want to tell mine how special she is to me but I am too afraid to do so. I know exactly how you feel, September rain. Please let us know if you do decide to discuss it with her.