Couch 78: Put your feet up and stay a while

Good thing I'm not under 23, though people might argue otherwise. G'night.

Feeling yuck. Just needed to share! Need to reach out and feel a connection - I'm sorry.

I have always been old. Even when in my 20s. It is good now to match up.

Morning stopdog- I was going to answer you on one of Bill3's threads but it has been closed. I am completely baffled why it would be. No one was arguing and it was a good thread. Leaving T with new insights and a sense of hope happens for me, but not as often as I'd like. I know for along time it didn't happen at all.

I assumed it was because of how old it was.

I think it is good if there are insights and hope. I have never found the therapist to have anything I would consider an insight in general, I don't recall that she has said anything I did not already know, and I find it to be more of a No hope zone. I am iffier on hope in general as a good plan - I am not convinced it is, but I have not experienced therapy as a hopeful endeavor.

Sometimes hope is a lie to carry you forward another day

That is partly what concerns me.

Sorry din't mean crazy in the insane sense but when you are young the cranky old lady does seem crazy.

Moving into my new place this week end. Won't have internet til Monday maybe. So have good weekend everybody!

Good luck with the move.

If I look back on the last 18 months, I am doing life a lot better. Strange that while I am feeling worse in sessions, I am feeling better out of session so I'll go with it.

I actually agree with you on something

I felt old probably around the time I hit 17

My neighbor gf now looks exactly like the crazy old neighbor lady when i was a little girl, esp in her gardening togs. All thats missing is a dangly cigarette holder. She has the big sunhat, the baggy pants, the sleeveless vest, the funky shoes, and the blissed out grin.

The cranky one and the crazy one were separate in my neighborhood.

Met with some Wiccan friends tonight. All pagan-y and vegan right now.

I was mentioning this to someone recently but the earliest Gen Zers are now entering High School, which makes me feel really old

Hello! I'm home after my work trip, it was a very long 6 days, got home last night. I cannot stop saying "I'm so happy to be home!"

I think I may have gotten stung by a bee but I don't see a stinger anywhere.

I am like that too. Even if just gone for a day. I am not a huge traveller. I miss my dogs and my life way too much.

i have ripe bananas.

so i am making banana-y things today. just made banana pudding. will be making cookies. will also be making banana bread muffins.

And maybe a banana split.

my baby can't eat any of the bananas though he gets a horrendous diaper rash if he eats anything with bananas. it's so weird.

Watching tennis. I love Andy Murray. Hes such a survivor.

I can't imagine being happy to return home after a work trip. After a holiday, yes, but not from a work trip. I guess I've never been away long enough for that.

stopdog - how could a Wiccan not be a Pagan?

My friends are Wiccan - I came away filled with pagan-y and vegan-y good feelings.

Ah, I see. I hope that was not a displeasing state of affairs.

I've discovered after being brought up christian, that my own beliefs and spirituality when I feel most at home with them are actually pagan. That was a hard word for me at first. Being brought up taught that anything besides their particular brand of christian was basically devil-worship. The longer I am in therapy, the stronger I am in my own belief system, and if I had to say right now what "religion" I am, I'd say I identify myself as a shamanic animist. Of course I have not shared this with my FOO yet. Aha!!! So maybe THAT'S how I'll know I'm done with therapy. When I can tell my FOO who I really am. Hmmm!!!

I know this feeling Art- I choose as a child to start going to a Christian church on my own..Now, as an adult and I am unpacking the hurts from my childhood, I choose Christianity for tons of reasons, most of them stemming from CSA crap and rape.

The problem now is that my life is so enmeshed in it, my h is Christian, he wants a kids raise the same way he was.. and I work in a Christian school.. makes my life hard, when I don't really identify myself that way anymore. It sucks really, and one of the things we are working through with T!