So I joined a group counselling charity and now work within their office doing newsletter articles and what not.

The charity also provide a lot of group support where we get to discuss our day and concerns.

I feel that these volunteers lack compassion and understanding for the participants, and they are too young to give advice I do not already know of from the doctor or previous therapists.

I enjoy helping the founders of the charity, but want to steer clear from the group support, as it does nothing but triggers my opposing mood and SA.

Has anyone else experienced this sort of thing? How did you get over it as it is bugging me.

Thanks

[Partless]

Do you have to be part of the group's meetings? Also are the advices provided personal, like are you the center of attention there or just one of the participants? Everybody offers advice to others, it does not have to have a therapeutic meaning. Because if it's not the latter, then perhaps it won't be as upsetting. Because you won't be expecting or asking for compassion from these younger people. It will be just a sharing of opinions.

[Petra5ed]

If I were you I would speak up but just do it in a gentle way. Say something like 'I know you're trying to help, but...' In my opinion people shouldn't give advice like they're a therapist if they're not actually trained to be one. Support groups should be more about being heard and understood and compassion like you said then doling out advice anyways, IMO. Just keep in mind when people do this it's their way of trying to help, but I agree, it can be pretty annoying.

Originally Posted by Partless

Do you have to be part of the group's meetings? Also are the advices provided personal, like are you the center of attention there or just one of the participants? Everybody offers advice to others, it does not have to have a therapeutic meaning. Because if it's not the latter, then perhaps it won't be as upsetting. Because you won't be expecting or asking for compassion from these younger people. It will be just a sharing of opinions.

Hey Partless,

The leader said I could work in the office with her and the other two managers, i'm okay with that I took the advice from these answers and actually used them to make myself feel comfortable.

I did try going to the group counselling again, but it triggered me again and walked away feeling worse and misunderstood.

Thank you I think that I was expecting compassion and understanding, and forgot that people are from and have experienced different backgrounds and advice x

Originally Posted by Petra5ed

If I were you I would speak up but just do it in a gentle way. Say something like 'I know you're trying to help, but...' In my opinion people shouldn't give advice like they're a therapist if they're not actually trained to be one. Support groups should be more about being heard and understood and compassion like you said then doling out advice anyways, IMO. Just keep in mind when people do this it's their way of trying to help, but I agree, it can be pretty annoying.

Thanks Petra,

I really want to speak up but don;t want to upset the leaders, as after I burst into tears from realising I wasn;t ready for this setting yet, they let me do art therapy in their charity which is better experience for my next stage in education.

Went to group counselling this thursday gone as a participant and came out feeling mocked and worse than I did going in!

That setting I concluded is not what i'm used to, i'm not a psych student, studied art, and coming at MI therapy from that point of view.

Yeah agree completely, it is their way of trying to help, and I should be thankful for it, but I will always feel that people are not getting enough help, having been there myself!

ty xx

Liah

[elliemay]

I've spent a lot of time doing charity work. No place is perfect, but it's not your place to change it.

If it's triggering you, then I would suggest you find another place rather than trying to change the way things are done.

I've found that to be an uphill and useless battle.

The key to enjoying charity work is to buy into the mission. Stay focused on the mission and not the details. Remember why you joined it and stay close to that.

Odds are this charity is larger than you, been functioning longer than you've been there, and without your input. However, its mission may suit you well. Stay with the mission.

If it's just not working, then I really would find another.

Ideally charity work should give both ways - to you and to the charity.

Originally Posted by elliemay

I've spent a lot of time doing charity work. No place is perfect, but it's not your place to change it.

If it's triggering you, then I would suggest you find another place rather than trying to change the way things are done.

I've found that to be an uphill and useless battle.

The key to enjoying charity work is to buy into the mission. Stay focused on the mission and not the details. Remember why you joined it and stay close to that.

Odds are this charity is larger than you, but it's mission may suit you well.

If not, then I really would find another.

Ideally charity work should give both ways - to you and to the charity.

Thanks, well i'm not going into the charity for complete self fullfillment, I want to stay in the charity because I really like the leaders they are so nice and understand my needs and avoids.

I have a hard time with people anyway, and I think because so many changes happen in the group it's hard for me to adjust as quickly as everyone else.

I'm not trying to change anything about the charity, I think they are set up well and offer people a life line in some extreme cases.

I want to help out but in an environment which works both ways as you said, thanks for your advice.