Physical responses in session

Hello. I am new here. I came looking for insight on something I have been experiencing.

I have been in therapy for about a year. When I am in sessions, I have always experienced physical sensations strongly - more strongly than at other times in my life. For instance, when I am afraid of saying something in session, I freeze. But when I am afraid outside of the session I can handle it better.

So, the situation that brings me here is too embarrassing to mention to anyone in real life. We have been discussing problems in my marriage and just started talking about some difficulties that we are having when it comes to intimacy. However, in this discussion (that was fairly graphic), I was surprised to find that I was aroused having this conversation with my therapist. I am not attracted to my therapist. The conversation was pretty 'clinical' and was not done in a salacious way - this same kind of conversation with a friend wouldn't have been arousing.

Is that kind of response normal? It was very uncomfortable to experience those feelings in session.

It also made me concerned that the conversation was inappropriate to have with her. I worried later that maybe she had the same reaction to the conversation.

We are supposed to continue the conversation next week. It is an area that I really need to address in my marriage and I don't have anyone else that I feel comfortable speaking about this with, but I wonder if I should change the topic because of my physical response.

Any advice is appreciated.

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I get those kinds of experiences in therapy too. Talk about triggers, I've found out boy do I ever have 'em! (Surely I have a walk-in closet full of baggage to process).

I don't know how to deal with this either. I'm looking forward to any suggestions too.

Why don't you bring this up with your therapist? Do you trust this person that they will be helpful? Don't have to go to stuff you're not comfortable with at this point, but general sense that body sensations or whatever become magnified in therapy for you.

I have mentioned the heightened responses before. She thinks that it is because I have taken down the walls in the session that I put up out in the real world. So, at work, when I am afraid of a hard conversation I am also thinking about what my response is supposed to look like in that environment. But in my session, I don't worry about what it is supposed to look like and just feel it - and when I just feel it, I realize that it is stronger than it is when it is tempered by social constructs.

I don't feel like I can talk about the arousal part with her right now.

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I think it's normal. Don't sweat it, just means you're human.

I don't know if it'll resonate with your particular experience, but maybe having a look at this thread will help?

http://forums.psychcentral.com/roman...therapist.html

Thank you for your responses. I wouldn't say that I feel attracted to her, per say. But I did find it interesting when someone said that adult closeness and sexual feeling can get confused.

Is it inappropriate to continue discussing the topic knowing the response I have?


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Feeling heard and cared for by another person can cross wires with sexual/intimate feelings. Maybe it just means that you trust your T and feel listened to.

OMG!!!!j I can NOT believe this conversation is going on... I thought I was some kind of freak. I have NOOOO sexual feelings toward my T, but have SOOOOO noticed this reaction both in session and when I am thinking about discussions during sessions and doing homework.

What in the WORLD could that type of connection be???? I am SOOOOOOOO relieved to hear others say this is happening to them because I KNEW it was not an attraction thing, but couldn't understand it either.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for bringing this up because I couldn't find anything about it and have sure felt strange because of it!!!!!

I also have the same thing and finally admitted it to T. First she said that since I had to supress my emotions as a child, I'm finally able to experience emotions after my moms death and I'm "coming alive". Two months later they are still around. She now thinks it's all about my moms death since they started a week before she died. But we haven't figured out why they are happening. And, it's during therapy and when I think about therapy in between sessions. Specifically when discussing feelings. It has driven me crazy!! But seems better now that I've told her but they haven't gone away.

I too am glad to see other people have this arousal. I don't have it in the session but I am sure having it in between. How does everybody's T respond when you bring the subject up?

[QUOTE]No, it's most appropriate to discuss.

It's normal to feel these physical sensations as a result of being heard, validated, nurtured, understood, and/or comforted. Intimacy and comfort triggers sensual feelings. Regardless of physical attraction, it feels really, really good, and there is nothing to be ashamed of.

The only physical response I ever have in therapy is shaking. I suspect that arousal is a healthier response somehow...

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I have also had these feelings between sessions along with high levels of anxiety when thinking about telling her things (not sexual in nature at all). I have never mentioned it to my therapist but I came to think of them as my bodies way of distracting me from my anxiety about talking to her. I am not attracted to her in any way.

My T handled it really well. I mentioned it out of desperation because they were bothering me so much. She gave some reasons. Then I had to admit it wasn't anxiety and only when talking to her or thinking about sessions. She has still handled it well. She asked when they started and what I think caused them. She links them to my moms death but I'm sure there's more to discuss. I even told her they have made me question my sexuality etc and she's been fine. The hardest part is that they are unwanted. It's amazing our bodies can have this reaction without our desire to. And I also told her it's almost like my body is acting independently of my mind. So strange because I don't want to be with her in any way and am happily married.

It is a relief to hear that others experience this too! I am impressed that some of you have talked about this to your therapist. I just can't imagine how embarrassing it would be for me to tell her!

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Ah, I see. Yeah it makes sense to me. I think when there is trust in the session, we do take down or at least lower our walls. And yeah, I get how you may not want to talk about the arousal part and it makes sense to wait to talk about it when you're more comfortable. But as others have said, your reactions are from atypical. Sometimes you end up experiencing a lot of things you've experienced in life with other people, with your therapist in a more safe and caring environment. But you're not alone in this.

Good luck.

Again, glad many have the same thoughts regarding sharing this with our T's.

I want to be TOTALLY honest with mine and have complete trust that nothing 'bad' or 'negative' would come out of it, BUT I would worry that it might plant in his mind that concern that I am having 'sexual' thoughts regarding sessions when I KNOW that has no part. My mind has never even considered that but as humans, we know what this response is typically connected to and I would HATE to risk putting that in his mind as an instinctual possibility.

Was feeling guilty for NOT planning on sharing and still trying to be open so I am glad many others see this concern also.

It happens to me too! I've seen different ts and it always bothered me to have that physical/sexual reaction. I somehow was able to discuss it with my first T. She told me the reaction and feelings were sensual, not sexual. I also discussed it with my current T because it bothered me so much. I realize it happens because of the intensity of the sessions, and often my anxiety. I feel very close to my T, and have also felt attracted to her. I don't think that's the reason, though. I do believe it's because of the intensity of therapy for me.

So you see you're not alone! I forgot to say that my T at first thought I might be bisexual, but basically she now tells me if I mention it "that's just the way your body works." No big deal.

I think the others are so brave too. I'm reading these threads so that I can gain the courage to at least tell a little bit to my T. When I was little sexual abuse and caring got welded together. Now my Inner Child is getting the care from my T and recently I have felt very close to her. I have been constantly sexually aroused for a long time now. I wish I could say that at least it feels good but it doesn't. So, because it doesn't feel good I think something from the abuse is mixed in there. For a while there I obsessively was doing research to find out what was going on with my body. Now I realize that I was obsessively looking for answers because I was afraid T would take the caring away because of what it did to my body.

I will try to view it this way too. Thanks!


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I know it's a slight old topic, but I ran across it and it is a topic very close to me. I've had this very issue in my session with my T and we have both had a lot of discussions about it. Anyone who's looked at my previous posts and profile will see that I've had issues with ED due to a back injury. It's not that I can't get aroused and have erections, it's just that I can't feel my penis and have satisfying or complete sexual intercourse.

Both my T and my doctor have theorized that my bisexuality could have been the reason for my ED, in that I may not be attracted to my wife anymore and my lack of satisfaction may be because I actually want to be with men. I can say that my T and I have had some seriously detailed discussions on actual sexual activities, acts, desires, fantasies that include men, women and both. I know I've had at least one session where I spent literally the whole hour with an erection. It's natural...how can one talk about their deepest sexual fantasies and not get aroused.

And it's hard to hide, especially for a man. In fact, when we talked about whether I can get aroused by my wife as well as by another man, I have actually pointed at my erection to show my T that I am more than capable of having erections for many triggers including my wife. I remember that this has happened at least once with my doctor as well.

My problem is that I always leave my appointment with a severe sense of guilt over these events. I feel that I have crossed or been pushed over a line that makes what happened inappropriate. I know logically that getting aroused talking about sexual fantasies, desires and acts is human nature, and that it is normal to get an erection. Even though I haven't been intimate with another man since long before I was married, I know I am still bisexual because just he thought of any sex with a guy gets me hard. So why is it that I feel I have done something wrong when my T and my doctor are supposed to be helping me with sexual issues?

How did that go over? Did your T think it was an appropriate conversation?

How could it not be an appropriate topic of conversation? I was seeing a T so that I could deal with my penis...the lack of feeling, the reduced intimacy with my spouse, the sense of loss. I HAD to speak about, it was the main topic of discussion.

I have to say that the whole topic is sensitive, both to me and to the world. Half the world's population have penises, yet it is inappropriate to talk about or show your penis to anyone other than sexual partner. I had to open up to myself and my wife about going numb in my penis which was difficult. Then I needed to tell my doctor, and the specialist, and the ultrasound technician and the XRay technician...even the receptionist knew I was seeing my doctor for a numb penis. In the midst of all, that I had to accept the fact that no one had any idea how to fix the problem.

So I was referred to a pyschiatrist, at which point I admitted my sexuality to for the first time to anyone outside of my spouse or previous sexual partners. I was "drilled" over my sexual past, my preferences, fantasies, my relationship with my parents and my wife. Then when the pyschiatrist said there was NOTHING wrong in my head, I was referred to a therapist.

Again I did the same thing with her...I admitted being bisexual, I told her all the things I had done and want to do...not that I was just telling her, she was asking me these questions. So in the context of a T trying to determine a cause and treatment plan for my type of ED, having an erection and knowing when/how I get one is important. I'm not saying that she told me to tell her when I had one, but I don't see how it is possible to speak in detail about my deepest and strongest sexual fantasies without getting aroused.

So was it an appropriate topic? Yes. It had to be. Yet even now I feel some level of guilt at the whole thing. Why should I?

That level of guilt you experience might hold some answers. Might be worth further exploring with your t.