[precaryous]

This seems to be a week when quite a few of us have had difficult emotional sessions.
Me, too.

T and I had a miscommunication (again!) where I thought I understood something she had said that hurt my feelings and angered me. It was serious enough (if what I believed had been true) that I considered quitting therapy. I was a complete mess for several days and I cried buckets through the entire subsequent session.

When I checked with her I found out she didn't mean it the way I heard it. Again.

She was very nice about it, saying she could understand how it could have come across to me as negative and scolding. She was sorry. She would understand if I didn't return to therapy or call her again- that it was my choice. But she would still very much like to work with me.

She reassured me that her boundary about this particular issue has not changed.. ( I thought she had changed the boundary- and I felt scolded, stupid and naive.) She repeated a few times, "This isn't your fault." "You didn't do anything wrong.

She said that sometimes I tend to hear things as a negative and then make it my fault...

Some of you may know this isn't the first time I have misunderstood her statements or read more into her reactions. I will be asking her...why does she think I continue to do this? Augh!

I am proud of myself for going back to therapy and double-checking the facts with her- when I really wanted to run the other way. I hate confrontation and I suck at being assertive...I really didn't want to go. But I feel that our working through this is helping me develop trust, security and causing us to feel closer. I was comforted by her heartfelt reassurances.

Anyway, this is a brief recap of an emotional session.

[ECHOES]

You have a lot to be proud of, in going back and talking about it! It helps you and your T learn about one another, as well as clarifying and clearing up misunderstandings and misperceptions.

Gosh, I had the same thing happen many times early in my therapy. It was very painful. I can see now that it got us to where we are, and it highlighted my fear of putting myself out there in a vulnerable position.

Good work!

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by ECHOES

You have a lot to be proud of, in going back and talking about it! It helps you and your T learn about one another, as well as clarifying and clearing up misunderstandings and misperceptions.

Gosh, I had the same thing happen many times early in my therapy. It was very painful. I can see now that it got us to where we are, and it highlighted my fear of putting myself out there in a vulnerable position.

Good work!

I wonder- if I am misunderstanding in therapy....am I probably mis reading people in every day life? I feel socially awkward. I even feel awkward on PC (although you guys are great).

Is that the benefit of therapy...that we can present to T who we really are and T's can help us correct behaviors and thinking so we function better in the world?

[RedSun]

Yes I think that is a great potential benefit of therapy, - your t can give you a reality check, which can then be used as a template almost....hopefully!

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by precaryous

I wonder- if I am misunderstanding in therapy....am I probably mis reading people in every day life? I feel socially awkward. I even feel awkward on PC (although you guys are great).

Is that the benefit of therapy...that we can present to T who we really are and T's can help us correct behaviors and thinking so we function better in the world?

I think you're on the right track

Thank you for posting your experiences; it is very brave to return when you feel like quitting and I'm so glad you had a positive experience. (Your post helps me to muster up the courage to do it myself)
I think you are right about therapy. Our relationship with our Ts like having a window into the way we handle relationships generally. When we misunderstand or otherwise have difficulties in the relationship it is eye-opening and gives us an opportunity to learn about ourselves.