[granite1]

no T this week and I am freaking about going to the mothers . I still want to jump out of my skin and as it gets closer I am just getting scared and uneasy. stupid I know . I agreed to help my local scrapbooking store to set up a craft sale this week . I have been working all week all day. it has caused me bunches of distress also .I was hoping t would keep my mind off things . instead it has caused me to worry all week if I am doing things ok ,am I making people mad .are they talking about me etc. and the store is also in the building that has a T office in it . I had contacted this T once when I was going to stop seeing mine. I think she is thinking mean about me etc.im getting really paranoid . my head is racing

[RedSun]

Do you know why you are so nervous about going to your mothers? It sounds from your post that this may be the underlying issue? Be kind to yourself, try not to make yourself do something you don't want to.

Sounds like unconscious anger.

(((granite)))

[someone321]

Dear Granite,
I think you do know that you don't make people mad and they don't talk mean things about you behind your back - I can't even imagine how such a nice person as you, could make me mad You "just" have to believe in that (yeah, I know - just). But even if it's difficult to just believe, the rational thinking would tell us that usually people do not care so much about others to waste their precious time just to talk how terrible others are... And if they do, actually that means that they care somehow...

I can only try to imagine how difficult the whole situation is and I know that sometimes all these things are just too much and too difficult (I hate these moments) - but there are at least two positives - you've worked a lot, so think how much you've done, you definitely can be proud for helping your scrapbooking store and another good thing is that it is already Friday, tough week is going to end soon and next week you'll meet your T again so there are pretty high chances that next week will be better than this one
Good luck with mothers...

Granite, it does sound like the going back to the mother's has thrown you into an emotional flashback of the experience of being around her -- being blamed, being emotionally abused, always being at fault. Has your T helped you with grounding exercises for emotional flashbacks?

[sweepy62]

I'm sorry you don't get to see t this week, and your thoughts are not stupid they are valid. I would be anxious also. I wish you were near me , we are having an awesome autum arts festival next weekend , I plan to limp my way over there for distraction . I'm going through a bit of paranoia and depression myself. I hope you cope until you see your t. Know that those are negative thoughts, not real ok. Sending hugs

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

[unaluna]

Originally Posted by My kids are cool

Granite, it does sound like the going back to the mother's has thrown you into an emotional flashback of the experience of being around her -- being blamed, being emotionally abused, always being at fault. Has your T helped you with grounding exercises for emotional flashbacks?

Thats exactly what i was thinking. It matches up to my rather dumb answer to hazelgirls thread about what is your biggest change. And all i could answer was that im not always running around like a chicken with my head cut off looking for attention and approval. But really its huge. And i think its good that we can see the difference. I couldnt see the difference until i had totally calmed down. I would just dissociate, i think. At least youre seeing your actions.

[granite1]

I know im scared of how things will be with the mother. I have managed to avoid seeing her for about 2 years. im worried she will make me feel horrible . and I don't want to deal with all the emotions ill need to control so I can be the good helpful daughter

What is the worst possible thing that could happen if you were simply to tell her the truth when she is horrible -- you are there to help and deserve to be treated better, and if she cannot treat you well, you will leave? She will yell? She does that anyway. She will treat you like crap? She does that anyway. She will talk trash about you? She does that anyway. Why not be honest?

[HazelGirl]

Why are you seeing her? Could you just tell her no you refuse?