[archipelago]

Some bad news really shocked me and sent me into a swirl of anxiety. I could feel it almost under my skin. And didn't even sleep last night though I had a final and was supposed to study…I just wrote in my journal unable to settle down. Also my therapist is on a long vacation so no contact or sessions for a while.

Anyway, I called one of my teachers, who is friendly and on the younger side to ask for advice. She was so sympathetic and gave me two concrete things to do and one to avoid. I decided to follow some of it and do my own looking into things, even though I really needed to settle and even sleep.

The work turned out to be productive. Not everything is handled completely but there is something in progress on each of the issues. I still need to wait, which isn't easy. And it is still hard to settle down. It's like you've been in a hurricane and then it stops but you are soaking wet and bracing yourself anyway.

(I did text my therapist to let him know there was some good news, and he wrote back "Far f-ing out.")

[kaliope]

well it sounds like you took some good steps to cope. great job. I like distracting myself. watching funny things on tv, reading a book, something to get my mind off of it. take care and keep up the good work.

[archipelago]

Yeah, this morning I just felt like everything was too impossibly hard and I would have to quit school and look for a new career or job. I was actually crying, feeling like my heart was breaking. It didn't help that I had no sleep. But I got it together because I didn't want to be that way in public. Believe it or not, I actually got a 98 on the final!

So I was feeling like I can't quit, but I'm stuck with several problems that I can't seem to solve. Just making some emails and calls got things going, plus got some reassurance that it wasn't such a problem, at least not one that can't be fixed.

I tend to be a little shy or avoid ant, especially with official phone calls, but it worked out okay. People were really helpful. And for those things that are still in the works, I was still given some reassurance that it might work out.

Phew! Sometimes life just pours onto your head and at a time when you are not really ready or feeling able to handle it all. Perhaps the trick is to just do one thing at a time, broken down into parts so the whole thing doesn't seem so overwhelming.

Now I wish I lived in Hawaii because I would just jump into the ocean and swim with the turtles.

[ThisWayOut]