Does T...

...ever vent to you about other clients? Mine does, mildly.

Like I think it's because her brain is still stuck back with that last frustrating person/situation. It's just interesting and un-blank-slat-ish.

I always figure she's *just* venting, but then sometimes she wraps back to me. :P

Like this one time there was a couple who came out before my appointment. The girl was sniffing loudly. They walked outside. He lit a cigarette. She kept crying/wiping her eyes. When I looked back at them, she had her arms around his neck, kissing him. He seemed ambivalent.

T was late coming to get me. I figured it had been intense and she was taking a break.

That was exactly it. She apologized but said she needed a minute to compose herself. And I said, yeah I figured because the couple who came out... the girl was upset. I relayed to her what I saw and she was like, "Are you KIDDING ME????"

She was obviously totally annoyed by what I saw. She says, "Why would she DO THAT?"

My reply was something about the devil you know... and she tied that back to my anxiety or something. :P

What about your T?

my old T did a lot of the time ... never experienced it with my current T though

No. And I would be most unhappy if the therapist ever did.

No. I think it would make me very uncomfortable. The closest she has come to "venting" was a comment she made once about how she liked having me on the day she did because she had a lot of couples that day and she didn't like doing couples therapy as much as individual.

When I was extremely parinod she relayed a story about how she handled a parinod client because directly talking about my situation would have been bad. Another time we were talking about whether forced hospitalization was humane and she used an example client to argue her side. Each was perfetional and there was no way l would know which client she was talking about.

A couple times an example was used. It seemed relevant and helpful. Otherwise, no venting from him of his work.

No. And I wouldn't go back if they talked about other clients like that.

He occasionally talks anonymously about other clients, but only if it is something relevant and helpful to my situation. I never get to see the clients before and after me, because his waiting room is isolated from the exit; it is a rule of his.

My T has mentioned things other clients have done that upset him, only in the context of reassuring me that my behavior in therapy is completely fine and not offensive or upsetting to him. For instance, he does not like having things thrown at him apparently. He does not appreciate people driving past his house -- he lives on a cul-de-sac and apparently it's really noticeable when it happens. Things like that.

The cul-de-sac thing makes him sound a little paranoid, lol.

I get lost and occasionally find myself turning around by driving through a cul-de-sac. I got this mental vision of upsetting/worrying your T by randomly driving through his cul-de-sac while trying to make a u-turn because I'm lost

My T is very cautious. And I really couldn't imagine her saying something negative or revealing about other clients - lol.

nah. We were discussing it in the context of one of my clients driving by my house more than 10 times in one day. T chose the cul-de-sac because it was best for children, and just commented that the cul-de-sac thing makes it noticeable if a client starts driving by a lot.

I think my T would never talk about clients so that I could recognize them (like e.g. talking about the client just before me). I only can see that she had a tough session from her face and expression but we don't discuss it. About other clients she said something only twice and it was very general, like that's good that I can tell her whenever I think she did something wrong because some clients cannot do even that etc. but nothing specific and for sure not venting - I guess it would be really weird for me, especially if I could recognize the client...

Wow, I'm sorry but that sounds unethical. My therapist never vents to me about clients.

No I think that's extremely unprofessional. I'd be upset if my T did that.

That's quite unprofessional. It would make me wonder what he says about me when *I* leave...

Mine didn't vent in that way, but she did say other clients took more of her time when they showed up early and needed things to be made safe for them and her animals (she worked from home on her ranch). But she quickly said that she was not complaining about that, just noting that she didn't worry about me showing up early and going for a walk. It would have really taken me aback if she'd reacted the way yours did; on the other hand, it does show that she's not an automaton. I would hate that more.

Ha! Spoilsport
My Ts have always hidden the cushions from me. I have never thrown anything in therapy, but T knows it's something I like to do when I'm upset. Hence, no cushions. Or maybe one little one sometimes. Honestly, I'm somewhat peeved. T is a very big guy. A couple of lousy cushions are not going to make a dent in him

He'd be better off with the cushions too, because if I get mad enough I *will* throw my shoes!

I love, love love when T talks to me on an equal level about other things beside my therapy. It makes me feel valued, trusted and important to him. If you think about it, it is a good therapy technique because it does ease pain and suffering for me. It tones down my extreme emptiness and loneliness.

Mine really only talks about clients that he has written about and/or has permission from. And he doesn't do it that often. He certainly hasn't vented though. Only mentioned bits that illustrated something relevant.

There are times when I can see that he's had a hard day and just say "Hard day?" when I'm walking in. He'll acknowledge somehow but not say anything and doesn't seem to be distracted once we settle in.

He has had to excuse himself for a call that he took outside. I could kinda hear that it really wasn't going well. He just apologized and said that he had just spoken to infuriating parents. It was the only time he showed a sign of feeling frustrated and a little flustered.

That's unprofessional. Fine for you to describe your experience of what you saw but your T shouldn't be venting about other clients.

This totally made me giggle. I typically threaten to throw a shoe at my T at least 1x a session. He doesn't believe me though.

Nope... never once. I think that would be terribly unprofessional in ANY manner. It would likely cause me to start wondering what she said about me to other clients.

No, never. It would be so terribly unprofessional. I suggest, if a T talks about other clients like that to you, how would T talk about you to other clients?

He has said things like, "I have other clients who find X useful" which I find acceptable, otherwise I would actually call him on it.

No, but he does tell me, he doesn't like all his clients and that you couldn't pay him enough to sincerely like them or love them.