[precaryous]

I have seen my T for about eight months. I had therapy yesterday. I had a dissociative episode- first time that's happened in a long time..first time T has ever seen that happen to me.

I hated it. I had no control. It was hard to talk. It was hard to think. I felt like I didn't want to come back. I feel embarrassed.

Looking back, it feels like someone snatched my clothes off in public.

I feel vulnerable...I didn't even know I should have had my guard up. I hate feeling vulnerable.

I hate that it could happen again. I don't even want to talk in therapy anymore.

If this happens to you...does your T help bring you back? How?

I didn't even realize I was gone until T said, "How are you feeling right now?"

Maybe I should ask her to touch my knee or something to signal me...maybe that would help bring me back?

[lozza89]

Originally Posted by precaryous

I have seen my T for about eight months. I had therapy yesterday. I had a dissociative episode- first time that's happened in a long time..first time T has ever seen that happen to me.

I hated it. I had no control. It was hard to talk. It was hard to think. I felt like I didn't want to come back. I feel embarrassed.

Looking back, it feels like someone snatched my clothes off in public.

I feel vulnerable...I didn't even know I should have had my guard up. I hate feeling vulnerable.

I hate that it could happen again. I don't even want to talk in therapy anymore.

If this happens to you...does your T help bring you back? How?

I didn't even realize I was gone until T said, "How are you feeling right now?"

Maybe I should ask her to touch my knee or something to signal me...maybe that would help bring me back?

this has happened to me and it does feel horrible it really really does and like you it was the first time that T had seen it happen.

she just tried talking to me though in a soft calm voice asking what was happening, what she could do to help.. but of course I was unable to answer sometimes when I dissociate I am catatonic it was soothing hearing her voice though and I remember feeling a bit safer.

I don't remember much of the session at all but later on was able to reflect and I emailed T and asked if it happened again sometimes touch helps bring me back so if she could come over and maybe even sit next to me and hold my hand then that may be helpful - thankfully it hasnt happened since.

maybe talk to your T when you next see her and talk about what may be helpful if it happens again?

I hope your going ok

[sideblinded]

Hi precaryous

You might try posting in the 'dissociative disorders' forum where you may find more people with suggestions.

Best wishes!

[musinglizzy]

It's happened a few times to me. The first time...she didn't do anything that I recall, except just try to talk me out of it. But it was also the first time, she didn't know what to expect. Nor did I. I think it's happened a couple other times. She's getting to know "the signals" and she'll come sit by me and rub my back or my leg. It hasn't happened in awhile now...if she sees that I might be slipping away, she comes and sits by me before I do. She's been able to keep me "there." She's also complimented me on working through it and being able to "stay here, and not go away." But I think she's the one keeping me there, not me.

[junkDNA]

he can tell when i am dissociating and he tries to bring me back by talking to me about trivial things or suggesting we go for a walk or play a game. i told him that getting me to move helps bring me back. i probly wouldnt want him to touch me if i was dissociating hardcore. it would make it worse i suspect

[catonyx]

My T just asks how I'm feeling. Always works for me.

Sent from my iPhone using Tapatalk

My T does this 4,3,2,1, I have name/describe 4 things I can see, 3 things I touch. 2 things I can hear and 1 thing I can smell. Thats when he catches me, I'm suppose to raise my hand if i'm starting to dssociate but sometimes it too quick and next ting I know is I'm at home making coffee.

[ThisWayOut]

it happens a lot to me. I just slip away. sometimes I can recognize it's happening, but not always.
I've learned, for me, general grounding doesn;t work (getting in touch with senses and such), but intensley cognitive tasks help, especially if it gets me thinking about something I enjoy (my animals, art, music...). We have figured out if I can't come up with something to say about the dogs, then I am still way too checked out to leave.
I would get freaked out by touch I think, though sometimes I crave it. I guess it depends on whenere I went and why. If we are talking about csa stuff, touch would freak me out, but if we are talking about just feeling depressed and unlovable and disconnected, I think touch tends to help.

[guilloche]

This T has been much better than other Ts I've seen about not pushing me so hard that I get far away and dissociated. When I start to drift, he doesn't leave me hanging out there by my lonesome, trying to figure out how to bridge the space. We're still pretty new to each other, but I appreciate that and hope he can continue.

What I've noticed him doing is usually bringing my attention to whatever I'm staring at (the pillow, the wallpaper, etc.) He'll tell me I can touch it, and the first time - with the fuzzy wallpaper! - actually was really encouraging. (I was understandably confused when he started telling me to touch the wall and thought something was very wrong, lol!)

BTW - I honestly think that every T-office should have fuzzy wallpaper near the couch. So much awesomeness. This is my Ts temp office, and he's going to be leaving it soon... and I'm seriously sad over losing the wallpaper.

[stopdog]

She has tried shouting my name. It is not useful.

[Freewilled]

Mine asked me many times where I've been.....but that's not helpful in the sense that I could actually say where I've been. It was mainly helpful in that it made me aware that I hadn't been there at the moment, instead of later when I got home and couldn't remember anything.

So I learned when I was dissociating and could catch myself and fight it at times. Still struggle though Twice now I felt myself lose control of my body - felt like I was falling and I tried to catch myself. That I don't like and wish to stop. T does not help here except to act like it's ok whatever happens. No - not ok IMO.

[StressedMess]

I dissociated big-time with my VR Counselor, who is NOT a trained therapist and she was really confused. I was staring out her window for an inordinately large amount of time and she kept trying to get my attention but finally she started staring out the window as well. Then she made some silly comment about a man driving his dog to that part of the lawn every day to do his business and started laughing, which brought me back. As a matter of fact, it wasn't long after that she transferred my case to another counselor.

[kraken1851]

Something very similar happened to me in my last session. It wasn't the first time I dissociated in session, but definitely the worst episode so far -- and the first time t really noticed and tried to bring me back. He asked me to sit up repeatedly and after what felt like ages I managed to shift a little in my seat and started coming back. He then just talked about everyday stuff, which was helpful.

Touching my hand or shoulder would probably have brought me back, but I'm not sure I could have dealt with someone touching me. So I'm glad t didn't.

[precaryous]

After reading your responses I'm rethinking the touch thing. Maybe T and I can work out a verbal signal.

I have many questions to ask her..
Is that the first time you noticed it happening?
How can you help me come back?
How do you know you can get me back?
What happens if you don't get me back (before session is over.)
How did you know I was safe to drive home?

[Tongalee]

For me the ability to be touched is dependant on whether I'm dissociating or having a flashback, which is similar though the picture in my head is of something terrible usually when I'm flashing back where there's just a void when I've dissociated. If in having a flashback my therapist makes sure to stand very clear of me add I guess I get very upset and ask her not to touch me and to let me out of the room. However , and I wrote a post on this you should look at as well, if I've begun to space out, she will ask me if I'm still there with her, and if I can do ___. It could be anything from standing up to looking around the room and finding something to focus onto clapping my hands or posing my feet into the floor.

[VelvetRevolver]

I had a stressful event happen(it was a trigger over something minor) and dissociated probable the worst I could remember in my life. My husband took me to the pdoc two days later and I tried to "snap out of it" , but I couldn't get out of it! He took me into the office and the Dr, took one look at me and said "What happened to her!?" She tried to talk to me but I kept floating off. He had to finish the appointment for me. I hated the feeling off helplessness like I had been drinking a bottle of Nyquil. That's when I first realized disassociation was real! School of Hard Knocks...ugh!

[precaryous]

I emailed T with some new questions...and got a response that she can't address them now.
Ok. I get that it's time to think about other things, etc. but...

[gayleggg]

Yes, the counselor that I was seeing during the days I was dissociating would watch my eyes and catch me before I got to far away. She would just calmly tell me to make eye contact and to come back into the room. It usually worked just fine. She was really good at spotting it. I haven't had an episode in a long time and don't know if my new counselor would catch but I think he would.

[TheWell]

It doesn't happen to me often only a few times during group. The last time the group T talked me through it. He told me to ground my feet by putting them squarely on the ground. He told me to put my hands on the metal of the chair and feel it. He put his hand on my shoulder and told me that I could ask him to do that if I needed it. He told me to look up and look around the room.

It was hard and embarrassing to check out in the middle of a group but it was nice to have someone help me back.

It happened one time during a phone session, and she said my name a couple times or something all I heard was the alarm in her voice, and that brought me back.

[lozza89]

Originally Posted by precaryous

I emailed T with some new questions...and got a response that she can't address them now.
Ok. I get that it's time to think about other things, etc. but...

I hope she gets back to you soon. hang in there. and well done on emailing those qsts.. very very brave thing to do

[precaryous]

Originally Posted by lozza89

I hope she gets back to you soon. hang in there. and well done on emailing those qsts.. very very brave thing to do

Thank you so much!

I will hold on until I see her Friday.

If something worsens, I can call her.
I'm feeling a lot of mixed feelings...sad and mad and scared.
I need to distract myself.