[SkyWhite]

I knew this day was coming and I dreaded it. I've been seeing my T for just over a year and I've been doing better. But today he told me that he can't see me indefinitely and suggested we start winding down. He booked me for 6 more visits which takes me to Christmas. He said after the 6 visits, we could take a 3 month break to see how I do. I knew this would happen because his service is provided by a public clinic and I've already gone over my allowed visits.

He said he is doing this because he can see I'm getting better. He was being as gentle as he could about it, but I'm just reeling right now. I've had terrible abandonment issues with this guy that I finally got under control when I finally learned to trust him. Now this. The one good thing is that he said he's not going anywhere and I'm free to see him if it's absolutely necessary after the 6 weeks are up. So I don't feel totally cut loose. But my worst nightmare has come true and I'm hurt and confused.

Also, I recently started remembering that I was molested as a little girl by a man outside my family. My T told me last session he is not qualified to council CSA survivors and a facility is available for me to deal with it. He encouraged me to contact them. He also reminded me that I do have a good pdoc to see.

[HazelGirl]

As painful as it is, he did the right thing by encouraging you to go to the other facility. If he is unskilled in CSA issues, he could have ended up doing more harm than good while trying to help you. It sounds like he is a good T who knows his limits and is doing what is best for you in this situation.

[PeeJay]

Originally Posted by SkyWhite

I knew this day was coming and I dreaded it. I've been seeing my T for just over a year and I've been doing better. But today he told me that he can't see me indefinitely and suggested we start winding down. He booked me for 6 more visits which takes me to Christmas. He said after the 6 visits, we could take a 3 month break to see how I do. I knew this would happen because his service is provided by a public clinic and I've already gone over my allowed visits.

He said he is doing this because he can see I'm getting better. He was being as gentle as he could about it, but I'm just reeling right now. I've had terrible abandonment issues with this guy that I finally got under control when I finally learned to trust him. Now this. The one good thing is that he said he's not going anywhere and I'm free to see him if it's absolutely necessary after the 6 weeks are up. So I don't feel totally cut loose. But my worst nightmare has come true and I'm hurt and confused.

Also, I recently started remembering that I was molested as a little girl by a man outside my family. My T told me last session he is not qualified to council CSA survivors and a facility is available for me to deal with it. He encouraged me to contact them. He also reminded me that I do have a good pdoc to see.

I'm sorry.

I've had to switch Ts and I did survive it. My second one doesn't have a time limit on how long I can go.

[lilypup]

I agree...he seems to be doing the best he can within his parameters. At least you have a good pdoc.

[SkyWhite]

Thanks for your responses. Yes, he is a very good T and that's why I'm going to miss him so much. I never connected with a MH pro as much as I did with him. But I have 6 more visits to work it all out.

I'm walking around this evening holding back my tears, but I think I'll survive.

[HazelGirl]

Originally Posted by SkyWhite

Thanks for your responses. Yes, he is a very good T and that's why I'm going to miss him so much. I never connected with a MH pro as much as I did with him. But I have 6 more visits to work it all out.

I'm walking around this evening holding back my tears, but I think I'll survive.

It's okay to cry and to tell him how much he meant to you.

[SkyWhite]

ok, I thought I would survive but I'm not ready to stop therapy yet. I've been up since 4:30 am and realize I'm stopping too early. I realize we haven't done any real therapy. We've only been trying to stabilize me so I can actually function enough to do real therapy. So, I finally feel stable and ready to grieve and heal and my T pulls the plug. Can someone grieve and heal in six weeks? I'm not going to go on a tirade about this here, except to say I am now f--king pissed off.

I sent my T an email at 6am (I only email his office) about all my thoughts and emotions about this (I'm sure he was expecting it). It's late afternoon and he hasn't got back to me. I had very bad separation anxiety with him especially after I just got out of the hospital. It was very painful, but I managed to trust him enough to be okay between visits and trust him enough to open up with some very heavy s--t. He knows all of this. We talked about a number of times and he still want to end it.

I decided I won't be doing CSA therapy at the other clinic. The wait list is 3 years long! They offer some bandaid interventions, but that's all I seemed to getting already with my current T. Besides, I don't want to dig up anymore s--t about the CSA and there's no reason why I have to. Just realizing it happened at all is more than I can cope with.

I don't want to see this guy forever. I know the day is going to come when I'll be ready to leave, but now is not the time. The decision to end therapy was his not mine, and I'm not ready.

[HazelGirl]

Could you find a private T who doesn't have a waiting list to help with the CSA?

[SkyWhite]

Originally Posted by HazelGirl

Could you find a private T who doesn't have a waiting list to help with the CSA?

We can't afford private and we don't have insurance coverage. It's public service or nothing. And I'm not even sure I want do the CSA therapy even if I could.