[Merlin]

One of the problems I have now is that when I am seeing my pdoc or T, I seem (and am) optimistic or able to become so during the hour, but outside of the therapy, I am less so. Still, although I cycle through periods of depression, hypomania, and a less than lovely mix of the too, overall I am much better than I was. Maybe there is so benefit to getting by with med checks (pdoc) and bimonthly check-up (T). Although I wish I could explain to my T how much I wish for help with my difficulty making friends. It's not so much social phobia; I can talk to people with some, but not major anxiety. What I can't do is invite people out for coffee, or to see a movie, to the bar or to much of anything. I don't know how she could help with that though. I'm really diving off topic though, so I will copy most of this into another post of my own and people can answer me there.

DM

By all means ask for help with that. It is a kind of social phobia or an intimacy issue. Lots to explore there and it's something you want but don't know how to make happen (comfortably) so it's a great therapy topic!

[sunrise]

Merlin, why do you feel you can't ask your T for help with this? Are you worried he/she will not think it is a worthy problem for therapy? I know it can be scary to ask for what we want and need, both in real life and in therapy. Please, go ahead and give your T a chance to respond to your request. I think there is a good chance he/she will be very willing to work with you on that issue.

I really related to what you said about being more optimistic or better in therapy than outside. I am the same. I often feel really elated to be in therapy with my T. I think it is the power of the bond between us. It makes me feel so good. He said one time he worried I was not grieving for something appropriately because of his presence. I saw some truth in that and made sure to go home and allow myself to grieve outside of the session. My T says that the bulk of work in therapy actually occurs outside of the therapy sessions.

[pamelasu]

I think you should ask for help on this issue. It would be beneficial for you and it will help you to grow a little more. Good luck to you!

[withit]

The book, ''Intimacy and Solitude'' comes to mind. A great and comprehensive read, explores intimacy and solitude from all angles. I must've read it three times in all, at different stages of therapy. I highly recommend it, especially if you enjoy deep thinking.