Your Experiences

Hi Hazelgirl
my T reads my writings in session when I don't know what to say, because I tend to skip the worst parts and she reads it out loud even though I hate it.
She's never looked upset though, maybe just sad but always reassured me that I haven't scared her (I come from a family where everyone panicks if I say I have a problem and they cannot handle bad feelings at all). Once I gave her about 40-50 sheets of writings to keep safe as my mother was looking in my stuff and told her she could have a look if she wanted to. T read all of them in her free time during the week. was sad and said she had realized what an overwhelming rage I have inside but it all went well. I have always regretted giving her stuff at first but have never been judged. I think in my case it is what helps my therapy the most as that's when the truth comes up.
Giving your journals to your T is a sign that you trust her and you are connected, I think after the first awkward moments it can only help therapy and make you two even closer to each other.

I couldn't handle her reading them out loud. It would make me feel like I want to curl up somewhere and hide, like I am too exposed (something my T wants to avoid). But she did say that me giving her my journal was a huge sign of trust and that she was very glad I have begun to trust her like that.

I handed over a steady stream of scary thoughts that I was having. She later said that she read it and that it would help me to talk about it face to face. But I didn't want to discuss it, I just wanted her to know what I was dealing with.

I felt relief and fear in giving all of that to her.