[alcibie1]

Hello everyone,

Sorry, I am quite new here...I would just love some thoughts on this. I have been with my counsellor for nearly two years and...it's been wonderful but lately she has said how therapeutically change isn't happening. She's right; I feel that too. It's like something is blocking me; I can't really feel anything or bring any emotion into the sessions. We talk and talk but there is no big shift. She is always careful to assure me that she is not suggesting I stop coming, but that perhaps it is now more a crutch and she is happy to support me but there is "more" needed.
The thing is that she kindly did some research on residential facilities that she thinks would be helpful for me (depression, eating disorder) and there is one place. As much as she is giving me the information to think about and make any steps, I can see that she really thinks it would benefit me. Our last few sessions have gone in that direction. It's like something has shifted. Maybe it came up for her in supervision.
I'm not even sure what my question is now. I don't disagree with what she is saying and I can see that she is really wanting the best for me and that she cares and that's tremendous. I am trying to decide what to do next. I just wish somehow I could get to whatever is blocking me now...I feel she has done so much for me but I just can't take that crucial step...

[Altered Moment]

Is she using a certain type of therapy?

Are there core causes of the depression and eating disorders you can identify but maybe not ready to deal with?

[RedSun]

Well, maybe the residential stay might help you identify what the issue is that is blocking you...could you stay with her and carry on working after your stay? It might give you the focus you need to get started. Xxx

[HazelGirl]

Do you know why you have depression and an eating disorder? (Abuse is a major cause, although not the only one.) Have you talked about that?

[alcibie1]

Thank you so much for the replies. She uses person centred counselling...it's really great and I feel very supported by her and yes...this is the confusing part really. There is csa in my past but I've never seen it as (sorry this sounds awful) as "bad" enough to cause everything that's going on now and of course she and the mental health people I see hone straight in on it. I just feel nothing about it but not feeling is a big issue for me so I don't know really how I feel or process it. She says minimising it as been a coping mechanism and now I do anything I can to avoid dwelling on it and she could be right even though in my own head I feel that I would love to spark a reaction in myself, feel something...sometimes I feel so bad that I haven't been able to or I feel she thinks I'm doing it on purpose...and then I think maybe I am...sorry this reply is probably making no sense! Thank you though x

It makes sense to me, alcibie. Sometimes, professionals focus on things that they think we feel strongly about when we actually don't. Of course mental health professionals are people and so they have blind spots, and although they are hopefully more aware of them I still think that in some cases they are biased in favour of us reacting in certain ways. I notice this in my therapist sometimes, and I have pointed it out to him, too.

But since you do want to be more aware of your own feelings, maybe what she suggests could be a good idea for you? Even if it's not going to be about the csa, it could be that a facility that specialises in depression and eating disorders could help you figure out root causes.