[musinglizzy]

If you thought your T could possibly be in danger, but would have to admit you know more personal (public) information about their life, would you tell them? Say you know T has a restraining order against someone, and that someone is driving across the country to "interrogate the ******** out of his "family," Well, she is within that family....and she has a restraining order against him....for what reason, I don't know.

This is all public info, and I research people/businesses/etc very well before I use them. Which is how I found out about the restraining order.

The thought of admitting this to her raises my anxiety level...don't want her to think I'm creepy and stalking her....

And perhaps it's not HER he's planning to interrogate. Or maybe he's just talking big. But makes me wonder....who would admit to knowing this info and tell her, and who wouldn't?

[ThisWayOut]

Hmm. Tough call. It's it public info that t made public? Or matter of public record? And how did you find out the person is coming back?
I guess I would err on the side of caution and mention to t you found this info. If you know the person returning outside of t, you could simply mention you know he is on his way back with intent to contact family... having seen what restraining orders can do (or not do), I would probably give t the heads up and deal with the questioning around how you have that info after the fact. If he's dangerous enough to warrant a restraining order, he's dangerous enough to act on any impulses or plans to hurt the people that have the restraining order against him.

[Leah123]

I'd mention it. I'm human, she's human, I care about her. She already knows I'm nosy. I'd rather risk being seen as overstepping a bit than see myself as cowardly, honestly. And I say that because there are times in my life I've neglected to do the kind thing for fear of appearances, and have learned from them.

[ruiner]

I thought you were really good at coming up with hypothetical questions for a second there.

I would say something. It's not like you had to really dig deep since it's public info.

[stopdog]

I would not mention it because I would not consider it any of my business.

[nottrustin]

that's a tough one...I know T outside of therapy but I really don't know what I would do.

[wotchermuggle]

If you know all this info, I would personally not say anything but would do something different. I would send a letter or an email to the T and just say, "I know you have a restraining order against X and I wanted to tell you that he's shared he's coming back to do X. I wanted to give you a heads up so you could be prepared if necessary. I hope this doesn't come across as creepy, but I wanted to let you know."

I would not bring it up in therapy. Talk about opening a huge box of worms. I think when it comes to safety, though, that you need to do something. Imagine if something happened and you didn't say or do something? Who could live with that?

[unaluna]

Not exactly the same, but i have told a prev t about stuff i found online about him. At the time the internet was still fairly new, and i thought he should know what a person could dig up. Esp since i was more of a computer expert than he was. I will have that excuse til the day i die, its a good one! Even tho my "experience" is practically antiquated!

Your therapist sounds like someone who can take care of herself. I wouldn't say anything. On the other hand, the benefit in telling her is that you can unburden yourself and maybe get at why you want to know these things about her. I can sort of understand how you might come across personal information if you were doing a search prior to seeing her, but a no contact order is not something that tends to pop up with a google search of therapists. You know best, but it seems there is something worth exploring there.

I would definitely tell her.

T could possibly be in danger

Please don't let your worries of what she thinks of you, like you mentioned, outweigh the implications of not telling her. If you or someone in your family was in danger, wouldn't you want to know? She can make the decision whether or not to do something about it, but you think she might be in danger.

If that doesn't convince you, if something did happen to her, would you be crushed with regret or self-hate or guilt for not saying anything?

[musinglizzy]

I'll have to think on it. I don't need to know these things about her anymore. I DID find out about the RO info prior to seeing her. My state has an open records policy, and whenever I do ANY kind of business with ANYONE, I check the court record website also. I have actually avoided plenty of problems by doing so. I mean, if someone was suing someone I was looking into, to "hire them" for their services, I would want to know these things. So, yes, I looked up the business name, as well as her name personally, prior to our first visit. And......the restraining order popped up. And even in this instance, one is fine, but if I saw she had filed a dozen or more restraining orders, instead of just this one, I would think something was "off" with her, and I would have crossed her off the list.

But stopdog, you're right. It really is none of my business.

[musinglizzy]

YES. Absolutely. I would.

If that doesn't convince you, if something did happen to her, would you be crushed with regret or self-hate or guilt for not saying anything?[/QUOTE]

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

YES. Absolutely. I would.

I mentioned that to help you with your decision-making process. Good luck with whatever you do.

[stopdog]

Perhaps I am confused - I thought OP read something online that lead her to believe the therapist had taken out a restraining order against someone. Not that that some person unbeknownst to the therapist is possibly trying to harm the therapist. It is not a case of warning the therapist about dangers of which she is unaware.
I may be wrong, but that was my understanding.

[musinglizzy]

Yes stopdog, the open court records. I thoroughly checked her out before I started seeing her, and saw it listed there.

Are we unable to delete our own posts? I think I'd prefer to delete this, but can't see how.

I think there is a time limit on editing/deleting posts, but you can ask a moderator to delete it for you.

Originally Posted by musinglizzy

Yes stopdog, the open court records. I thoroughly checked her out before I started seeing her, and saw it listed there.

Are we unable to delete our own posts? I think I'd prefer to delete this, but can't see how.

If you click the report post button you can ask to have it deleted. 4 hours after writing a post, you can delete it by first clicking the edit button..