This is something I've heard and heard in T. My confusion around this is great. Then it hit me last night, just what the real relationship is. Its everything that "is" and not what I fantasie about.

Its the Here and now in that therapy room. Its every word, silence action that occurs in that room. Its not the fantasy in my mind where I am the only real person in T's life, That I am the one she carrys with her in her mind.

Its her being sue, the therapist that is helping me heal. Its her, sue that see's me for 50mins twice a week. That does her best to help me but cannot be superwoman.

I also know now that I haven't even had a real relationship with me! I have a fantasy of who I think I am or who I would believe I am but I am not that fantasy. I am good and bad. I am a paradox of everything. I hurt, I laugh, I hate, I love. I try and avoid. I am what we all are. Human. I have pain, I have joy.

I am imperfect, I am unsure. I am alone first. I am me first.

I love reading your insights, Mouse. It's awesome to see you growing so much from therapy. The last couple posts that I've read from you just show how much someone can get out of therapy. Keep going, it looks like you are really "getting it."

[Talulah]

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mouse_ said:

I also know now that I haven't even had a real relationship with me! I have a fantasy of who I think I am or who I would believe I am but I am not that fantasy. I am good and bad. I am a paradox of everything. I hurt, I laugh, I hate, I love. I try and avoid. I am what we all are. Human. I have pain, I have joy.

I am imperfect, I am unsure. I am alone first. I am me first.

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wow mouse, I feel this too. Wow, I mean really, this insight is incredibel because I feel it and probably could never find these words myself. The hardest part for me? The gray, all the gray inbetween the goo and bad and pain and joy. It's all the levels of the in-between I cannot do....it's so hard.

[Perna]

Watch out for whiplash; you're going to be moving ahead in therapy so fast now. . . :-)