When the therapist resets boundaries

Has anyone experience their T resetting the boundaries of the relationship in terms of outside contact/communications/emails/texts etc? How did you deal with the boundaries being tightened?

After a huge rupture that has basically threatened whether therapy will even continue, my T has taken away my crisis plan ( which used to be to call if I felt really awful, or suicidal or like self-harming). Her new contract is now absolutely no contact outside of the session.
I hate this new contract and haven't even tried it yet. I just told her I was taking a break from therapy to try and decide what I want to do. I feel really angry with her and kind of abandoned.

I can't decide if I want to go back to her now. I hate the idea of not having a safety net of the crisis plan. I can imagine going back and being really angry with her and not trusting her anymore because she took away my crisis plan. And if that's the case, maybe I'm better not going back to her at all.

If your therapist has taken away things or implemented stricter boundaries, how did you react and deal with it? Did it turn out to be a good thing?

At one point Madame T insisted that I stop sending her hate mail. Her timing was pretty nearly perfect, although she claimed she should have done it sooner.

Anyway, I found I didn't really need to do that any more so it wasn't a problem.

I think the texting definitely did become a crutch in some ways, but I don't think my T has taken them away to make me evaluate my feelings for myself. From what I can tell, she felt like we were both being overwhelmed with material and issues arising from the texting and subsequent phonecalls. I think that she is trying to take away all the angst that arose from whether I should call or not and texting to just making it a clear " no contact" policy. And that that would also steam all the work back in session time and not have it bleed out into the days in between. I think she hopes that might reduce the amount of anxiety outside of session.

I say " I think" because I'm not 100% sure why she's doing it. And I can see sense in that reasoning but it just seems like an overly simple solution to my issues surrounding being anxious outside of sessions and anxiety around whether I need to be speaking to her or not.

I think there's several layers to what going on with my anxiety, which is activated by insecure attachment to her, fear of calling too much; hence not being sure I should be calling her or needing her, and issue of containment of the material from the sessions.

I think it would be better for her to get to the bottom of all that and figuring a way forward than simply just taking away my safety net of access to her outside of sessions.

Now if your T really didn't discuss this with you and just implemented the rules, it would feel very cold and hurtful if you were allowed to email before.

This helps me in my situation too. My T hasn't taken Emails away (yet), but she took touch away, implementing the rule without discussing it or even telling me about it. Just let me figure it out on my own. Not talking to me about it hurt more than the rule change itself! Because I'm left wondering what's next. Yes, three months later and I'm still struggling...as far as the Emails go, I've been taking them away. Don't want to get attached to Emails, ya know, because those will be on the chopping block next...

It is such bad "therapy" when the therapist does not treat our feelings with great care. We give them our heart, they stomp on it, grind it into the ground, and then tell us that WE need to somehow adjust our thinking.

If our love smashes into their boundaries (which more often then not are variable), then it's OUR problem????

Pisses the hell out of me.

This thread is what made me join PC. It came up in a Google search.

Especially for Bay, I wanted to bump this thread up, because I found it SO useful earlier this spring when I read it. I've come back to it a couple of times.

Wow! That's neat! I think it is a great thread!