One thing that gives me confidence in my T is that she has supervision and It seems to me that sometimes she comes back to me on something we have talked about with a slightly different take. I feel like she is continually questioning herself, despite the fact that she has worked for years and years and is quite old, she has a kind if humility. I also see her adapting, for instance to try and find a way to help me be less anxious when I am anxious - like talking more or less, changing her gaze.

[kaliope]

well I have DID and it is hard to find someone who specializes in it. my t is constantly getting more training

I struggled to consciously notice the positive with my T, always focusing on the times he frustrated me or said the wrong thing. But I have made astronomical progress in the last few months and I am starting to appreciate what a huge positive impact he has has on my life.
I think the most important quality he has is pure empathy and feeling. He genuinely cares and isn't afraid to show emotion which has been hugely validating for me. Another thing that has been enormously helpful for me is his willingness to share resources, ideas and psychological theory with me. He has armed me with knowledge and the power to understand myself. He is equipping me to become my own therapist.

[Ad Intra]

When I would talk about hurting myself she took it very seriously and helped me make a through, in-depth plan to cope.

[A Red Panda]

My T has learned to slow himself down as he can be a bit impatient. He's apologized. He's started taking better notes to remember things (even quoting myself back at me... in the past year I think he's improved his note-taking a lot!) He doesn't always let me get away with "I don't know" as an answer, but sometimes he does if he senses I really just can't think of anything. He shares personal experiences. We talk about some people we both know. He'll point out the things that he's observed about me and the things I've done since knowing him. He laughs. He encourages me to email. He reminds me it's a safe place where I could cry if I wanted to. Things like that.

Interesting thread I mostly like the way my t admits mistakes so freely and I really like her honesty. It's both refreshing and healing for me to meet a t that can say she doesn't know the answers or that she is struggling to find a way to support me. I like the way she questions her approach and helpful it was for me and she always finds something positive in me and our relationship.

[whitepanda]

I am petrified of close relationships, but my T makes me feel safe and loved. I am amazed at his attunement and consistency. He is predictable and reliable and can make accurate observations about my messy life. I think him just being with me in everything that I am facing is what makes him good at what he does.

Originally Posted by Echos Myron

I struggled to consciously notice the positive with my T, always focusing on the times he frustrated me or said the wrong thing. But I have made astronomical progress in the last few months and I am starting to appreciate what a huge positive impact he has has on my life.
I think the most important quality he has is pure empathy and feeling. He genuinely cares and isn't afraid to show emotion which has been hugely validating for me. Another thing that has been enormously helpful for me is his willingness to share resources, ideas and psychological theory with me. He has armed me with knowledge and the power to understand myself. He is equipping me to become my own therapist.

When I started this thread it didn't occurr to me that I would feel the way I do reading your thread - it sort of reminded me of something I don't feel that I get a lot of from my T. I get a bit of empathy, but often I tell her things and I get none, I feel that she skips over it. I can tell her some things upsets me and we talk about why it upsets me, or what is causing the thing without much acknowledgement of the feelings.

[Depletion]

She is very responsive when I bring up issues to her that aren't going well for me in the relationship, and she almost always seems willing to adjust; She understands the way that my disability impacts the therapy process, something that other T's have not taken seriously, or out right refused to consider; she says that her only goal is to understand me; she has read hundreds of pages from my journal; she fights for the relationship just as much as I do; she returns my phone calls whenever she can and responds to my emails when I ask her to do so; she is loving and tender with me, and isn't shy about showing how much I mean to her; she is the best friend that I always wish I had, and the loving parent I never got. The worst part about the relationship is that she can never be my friend and my T (even though I think that we both wish that could be the case).

Originally Posted by Depletion

She is very responsive when I bring up issues to her that aren't going well for me in the relationship, and she almost always seems willing to adjust; She understands the way that my disability impacts the therapy process, something that other T's have not taken seriously, or out right refused to consider; she says that her only goal is to understand me; she has read hundreds of pages from my journal; she fights for the relationship just as much as I do; she returns my phone calls whenever she can and responds to my emails when I ask her to do so; she is loving and tender with me, and isn't shy about showing how much I mean to her; she is the best friend that I always wish I had, and the loving parent I never got. The worst part about the relationship is that she can never be my friend and my T (even though I think that we both wish that could be the case).

This sounds so positive. I like the bit about she fights for the relationship as much as you do.

My t is amazing. He allows me to be whoever I bring to each session. He totally understands that sometimes I bring the 6 year along & other times I bring the foul teenager & sometimes I have a smidgen of the adult, just for good measure. He understands all of us. I adore him. He knows me & seems to read me like a book. He has helped me deal with the ***** in a positive way & always encourages me to be true to myself. We have our ups & downs though, but he never gives up on me. I feel valued & loved.