dual relationships... should I have declined?

Ididitmyway · Dec 09, 2014, 01:35 AM

It's absolutely unethical of her to make this request. Now, I have no idea what kind of regulations regarding psychotherapy your country has, but here in the US, at least in California, where I live, the engagement in this type of a dual relationship would be a ground if not for the revocation of a license but for either a probation or a suspension of it for sure. Even if there is no such ethical rule in your country, I firmly believe that it's wrong for a therapist to ask a client to perform a certain task for them outside of their therapeutic relationship. It brings an additional agenda into the therapy, and, generally speaking, when the dual relationship develops, it usually doesn't end well. I am speaking from my own personal experience of having been sucked into a dual relationship with my therapist. It's up to you what to do, but, I think, it would be wise to decline her offer. If she was my therapist, not only would I decline, but I would find a new therapist. I wouldn't need a therapist, who doesn't understand the nature of a professional relationship.

roimata · Dec 09, 2014, 06:03 PM

This is my fantasy. Imagine all the snooping I could do. Like a dog frolicking in a field of sausages

(Probably not a good idea in reality though)

doyoutrustme · Dec 09, 2014, 06:54 PM

I think it depends on the population where you live. Some places dual relationships are unavoidable.

dark_sweetie · Dec 10, 2014, 01:36 AM

Just very unprofessional of her and obviously harmful to you.

Lady Lindsey · Dec 10, 2014, 01:46 AM

I would say that is serious boundary issues and I would decline.. you are going into a business relationship with her... not a good idea it will change the dynamics of therapy

InRealLife45 · Dec 14, 2014, 04:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jordy

I saw T today and at the start of the session she told me she had to ask me something private and kinda dropped a bomb on me: Her eldest son has moved out and she now has no help with her horses when she goes on trips with her husband.
So she has asked me whether I sometimes could come to her house, sleep in their guest bedroom and look after her horses while she's away. She also said she'd pay me and we'd find an agreement as she's pretty generous. I was kinda dumbstrucked and said looking after the horses is no problem. But now I'm second guessing myself, especially as I'm not sure whether her youngest son (who is scared of horses, so can't look after them) would be there too. And even if I was alone I mean... staying at her house would just be weird...
And she only told me about the staying there part once I had said I could look after the horses.

I hope she won't ask me to do it anytime soon, because right now I can mainly see negatives. Looking after the horses would be fine, but I just see so many boundary issues and I wonder if this could become harmful for me in the longterm. I trust T that she doesn't want to do anything that may harm me, but she may not have thought of all the consequences....

i think its fine. she wouldnt be there when you are there, anyway. and if you live close enough to her theres no reason you couldnt just come by to care for horses and go home, she probably offered the sleepover in case the distance was too great for you to drive.

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dual relationships... should I have declined?

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