[amd95]

Is it okay to email your therapist around the holidays?
She's a student therapist & we're on break, and I wanted to tell her about some things but I don't want to bother her especially because the holidays are so close. What are your opinions on emailing therapists around the holidays?

I only contact my therapist in an emergency, particularly when he's on break, but that would depend on your therapist I guess.

[JaneTennison1]

My T would probably be lovely to me if I emailed but I never would unless it was an emergency. I've been writing things down for the next appointment.

It depends on what your agreement is about email, I think. In general, if you are able to email her, I would think that it's up to her whether or not she reads her email when she's on holiday. I have written paper letters to my therapist and mailed them to his office during the summer holiday, which for me felt like a way to reach out to him without intruding on his vacation time.

[Soccer mom]

I can't email my T. Why don't you start an email and then actually hit send on Sunday?

[brokenwarrior]

I think it depends on the T. If you are seeing a student T I would say email if you feel it's important enough that it can't wait until the holidays are over. I would then asked your T what their policy is on out of session contact especially over the holidays

[nottrustin]

It really depends on you therapists policy is. My therapist has always told me to email her whenever I need to. She always has her computer with her. If she doesn't respond right off it is because she is busy but that is her everyday policy.

I did send my t an email the other night, with a rather lengthy letter attached. I don't have any particular restrictions about emailing, other than those I place on myself. This is the longest thing I have ever sent her though, I think. Some big stuff I want to talk about at my next appointment, I sent it so I can't get out of talking about it. The night I sent the email, I had a dream about talking with her, and all I remember of the dream is her saying "Do I make myself clear?" And me responding "Yes, ma'am." I cannot recall the rest of the dream discussion.

[SabinaS]

If you feel the need to, then send her an email. She may or may not respond, depending on what her stance is re out of session contact, but most therapists would treat any contact with respect. Just bear in mind however, that she may not have access to email if she's away. I guess it's a good discussion topic for your next session?

[amd95]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

It depends on what your agreement is about email, I think. In general, if you are able to email her, I would think that it's up to her whether or not she reads her email when she's on holiday. I have written paper letters to my therapist and mailed them to his office during the summer holiday, which for me felt like a way to reach out to him without intruding on his vacation time.

We've never talked about emailing, but she has emailed me before to talk about scheduling. I wanted to bring up a topic/ask a question about a subject I was too scared to talk about during our last session. It wouldn't be a super lengthy & emotional email, it would be more like a "hey I want to talk about X when we get back" kind of thing.

[Ididitmyway]

Depends on the content of the email. If it talks about personal issues that are the subject of your work in therapy, then no, it's not appropriate because you have sessions for that. If it's just to send her happy holiday wishes, that's okay.

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Depends on the content of the email. If it talks about personal issues that are the subject of your work in therapy, then no, it's not appropriate because you have sessions for that. If it's just to send her happy holiday wishes, that's okay.

That sounds unusual to me. Again, it depends on what the therapist and the client have agreed on, but for me, it would seem inappropriate to send a non-therapy-related message by email to a therapist, especially in the holidays, while terapy related stuff would be appropriate. Many people on these boards email their therapists with material for the sessions, between sessions.

I would think that "hey, I want to talk about x when we get back" would be perfectly acceptable.

[PaulaS]

I think you should make your decision around this according to the policy that your T has or seem to have. Perhaps she hasn´t told you anything about e-mailing her during holidays and in that case, I´d try but without expecting an answer. In my country I think there are very few T:s who´s on call during holidays, nearly none in private practises and a few within psychiatric care.

I don´t think it´s anything wrong with e-mailing your T but I would say you should be prepared that she perhaps won´t answer. I hope she will of course, I know how hard it can be having sent an e-mail and then having to wonder if the T got it and read it or not.

Originally Posted by amd95

Is it okay to email your therapist around the holidays?
She's a student therapist & we're on break, and I wanted to tell her about some things but I don't want to bother her especially because the holidays are so close. What are your opinions on emailing therapists around the holidays?

Originally Posted by Ididitmyway

Depends on the content of the email. If it talks about personal issues that are the subject of your work in therapy, then no, it's not appropriate because you have sessions for that. If it's just to send her happy holiday wishes, that's okay.

I sent her some stuff that I want to talk about next time. Because if I don't send it to her, then I'll conveniently "forget" to talk about it, and I am held accountable this way. It is normal procedure for me to send her stuff before my next appointment, because I do phone appointments, I can't just walk in and hand her a printout of stuff I don't want to "forget".

[stopdog]

Originally Posted by Mastodon

That sounds unusual to me. Again, it depends on what the therapist and the client have agreed on, but for me, it would seem inappropriate to send a non-therapy-related message by email to a therapist, especially in the holidays, while terapy related stuff would be appropriate. Many people on these boards email their therapists with material for the sessions, between sessions.

I would think that "hey, I want to talk about x when we get back" would be perfectly acceptable.

Right now, I do send the therapist non- therapy related email. I send her things so I don't snap over the stuff my person is going through and that I have to watch and not clobber the incompetent idiotic health care workers (mds, nurses, administrators etc), her family, people who ask me stupid questions and so on.
I don't necessarily want a response from the woman. I am not even certain it matters to me if she reads it, but it is quite useful to me to be able to send it off - in ways a journal is not.

[sidney1771]

Can't you write this down and hold on to it for your next appointment? Isn't there a place to keep notes on your phone? If you just want to remember to talk about something, shouldn't the onus be on you to find a better way to remember to bring it up then hoping that your T gets an email, reads your email, and they remember to bring it up? Kind of passing the buck here aren't you?

[ThisWayOut]

I would check to see if T's email is confidential before sending anything. If she has communicated with you about scheduling before, there might be a blurb about confidentiality in her signature or at the very end of the email. Some will say that email is not confidential and sensitive communication should happen via phone message. Others will say that the email is confidential info and should be treated as such... I would look into that before sending details off to her...
I've left voice mails with this past T about things I could not bring up in session but wanted to talk about (she did not use email because it wasn't confidential). I also have printed stuff out to take to her. I have lots of trouble bringing certain stuff up in session, so giving T a heads-up about it is a way to make sure I don't chicken-out.
T prior to this one read a private blog I wrote to her in (she also did not have confidential email). She only read it during office hours though, and that was fine. If there was every anything that needed immediate addressing, I called. She had access to the blog outside of work, but she was never expected to look at it (actually, I never expected her to look at it more than once before our next session, but she grew to check it often as time wore on).

[amd95]

Originally Posted by sidney1771

Can't you write this down and hold on to it for your next appointment? Isn't there a place to keep notes on your phone? If you just want to remember to talk about something, shouldn't the onus be on you to find a better way to remember to bring it up then hoping that your T gets an email, reads your email, and they remember to bring it up? Kind of passing the buck here aren't you?

It's not that I'm going to forget to talk about it; I have wanted to bring something up for the past 2-3 sessions but I couldn't bring myself to do it because I got anxious.

Like I said, it would essentially be me asking her if we can talk about a certain topic after break, not dumping my problems on her via email.

[ThisWayOut]

send it then. if it's crossing a boundary, she will tell you next time you guys talk...

[musinglizzy]

My T has asked me to keep in touch via Email or text over the holidays. I don't really intend to, because I'm "work" and she has a life, but if I don't, she'll often Email or text me to check in.

[GeminiNZ]

During breaks, I can email whenever i like; T replies when he chooses to. I can send 1 or 10 or 1000 emails and he reads them all (he once joked the limit is one billion so he'll still have time to do other things). He replies at least two or three times a week, letting me know he's listening and cares, and addressing or questioning or adding to anything i've said that he feels needs more immediate follow-up. The rest can be raised by either of us when he gets back, but often just getting it away from me is enough (or it's something that will come up in a session at some point).

This time of year is PTSD hell for me (and this year i have a slipped disc in my neck to add to the agony), plus it's also T's longest break, so email is even more useful than usual.

[Ididitmyway]

Originally Posted by artemis-within

I sent her some stuff that I want to talk about next time. Because if I don't send it to her, then I'll conveniently "forget" to talk about it, and I am held accountable this way. It is normal procedure for me to send her stuff before my next appointment, because I do phone appointments, I can't just walk in and hand her a printout of stuff I don't want to "forget".

Got it. If that's the agreement, then it's okay.

i'm scared to email mine because i am terrified of intruding - on anyone. i like to keep myself to myself and be totally independent.

Originally Posted by 8888an8888

i'm scared to email mine because i am terrified of intruding - on anyone. i like to keep myself to myself and be totally independent.

I really want to be as independent as possible. I hate it when that fails. I'm hoping to get better through therapy though.

Originally Posted by Mastodon

I really want to be as independent as possible. I hate it when that fails. I'm hoping to get better through therapy though.

yes, i hate it when it fails too. i almost feel patronised and belittled by the attempts of others to be nice to me.