[Ad Intra]

I've wanted to before but never did. Have you ever? What happened afterwards?

[Ididitmyway]

I have done, I think, once. The therapy ended afterwards not because the therapist ended it but because I did.

[elaygee]

I walked out once when I thought my therapist was being a jerk to me. I handed her an entry about feeling misunderstood and angry when she said "I understand " when she doesnt. Her response was to be cautious but it came off cold and I stormed out pissed. We sorted it out.

And then one of my inner kids stormed out (we are DID) when he felt she lied to him. That was terrifying. A pissed off little kid with access to a car.

[Ambra]

I tried once, I wasn't angry at T, I was disclosing something traumatic and was ashamed and suddenly scared and needed to get up from the chair and head to the door. She got up too, told me I was safe and came to sit on the other client's chair next to me. Embarassing.

[ScarletPimpernel]

I have once. I was talking to her about something really traumatizing. We went over time and that made me panic. I kept telling her she was passed time (thinking she had another client). She finally told me I could leave whenever I wanted to. All I heard was "leave". I was so distraught that I stormed out. Didn't make it too far and collapsed in the buildings hallway. My fiance was there, went to my T and asked her what happened. She came out reassured me that everything was okay and gave me a hug. It took a few weeks to recover from it, but I did. My T did tell me that I can walk out whenever I want to, but she will never chase me.

[justanumber]

I have. Several times. It happens when it gets too intense and I feel I need a break.

The first time, she offered to come with me and I was pretty firm in saying "no". I went outside for some air and went back after 5 mins or so. It's happened quite a lot since and now T just lets me go when I say I need to leave. She knows I will come back. I sense by her reaction each time that she also regroups in the time that I am out of the room because she welcomes me back with a summary of where we were at. She's always been very kind about it.

[GeminiNZ]

I did a few weeks ago. First time in three years of therapy. Got really badly triggered and was overwhelmed by the urge to leave. T asked me to stay and do some grounding, but i couldn't speak or think and my entire body was saying "run!" so i did.

He emailed me later that day to say he was sorry the session had been so difficult for me, which was really nice of him.

It had been a tough session, but i still don't know what it was that triggered me like that. I've been dissociated, wept like my heart was breaking, argued with T, and had some horrific flashback-filled sessions, but haven't left any of them early like that, so at a bit of a loss as to what it was that made me run. T was at a loss, too.

As these things tend to do in therapy, it'll probably come up again at some point. Hopefully i won't run next time. Or maybe i'll still need to, but be able to work out why. It's the not knowing that bugs me.

[brillskep]

I haven't. I wanted to do so twice though. First time, I actually just thought after a rather harmful session that if I'd had some self-respect I would have left. That was about a year into my therapy. This year it once happened that my therapist yelled at me; I said I wanted to leave the session after he used that tone with me, and I might have, but he started saying how he didn't mean to hurt me and said that if I wanted to leave because of that I wouldn't need to pay for that session since I thought it didn't help me. After that, we both decided to stay and made the rest of that session really good and worked it out well. I'd say that's progress - both that I actually expressed my intention to leave and that I stayed and we both acted differently after that.

[BonnieJean]

I have 3-4 times in as many years when I felt like I couldn't tolerate whatever was going on that session any more. It is always when I'm pretty upset about something. I ask if she has anything else she wanted to say and then tell her I feel like I have to leave. Then I do.

i have wanted to very much. sometimes she says things that annoy me.

but i haven't. yet.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel

. My T did tell me that I can walk out whenever I want to, but she will never chase me.

I was just thinking yesterday that I may feel like leaving today but I would want her to come after me and she probably wouldn't. I always felt that way towards the men I dated but never linked it to my parents who never would come after me. Hmmm

I've certainly thought about it but I've never done it. Usually it was because of something we were discussing and just having that urge to run to get away from the topic which I realized wasn't going to work anyway because my brain would leave the room with me. Probably why I stayed.

[ThisWayOut]

There are times I feel like running but have not left. Mostly it's when we talk about trauma or loss. A lot of times I end up dissociating when that happens. I never actually leave because I would always get in trouble at home for leaving the room if an adult was "talking" to me. It's pretty much ingrained in me that I don't leave anyplace unless given permission (be it from my wife, my therapist, my boss, or my parents) if I'm uncomfortable while talking.

[Tongalee]

I've left a few times, I think. One I'm sure of: I left because I got so extremely angry at myself for feeling what I was feeling and decided that if I sat in that room with my therapist for one more second I was bound to burst into tears. The first time however, I was dissociating and suddenly became truly afraid that my therapist was going to hurt me if I stayed. I engender feeling that though she was sitting in Herr chair across from me, she kept getting closer. I felt as though her presence was suffocating and I started to have bad body memories. Often my therapist says that I can leave and come back in in moments when it feels hard to be present there, but it's hard to accept that that's okay to do.

[nymphea]

My old T used to ask if we could end sessions early, but I have never found the need to myself. I never really understood why she wanted to end them early... For me therapy is a safe place but it can get intense depending on the subject matter. I have felt very disassociated during sessions, but I end up staying regardless to get my time in. Usually if I feel upset about a session, I email my T afterwards to explain my feelings.

I did a couple of times, but that was back in the stone ages when therapy cost $60 and a half dozen eggs. Now that it's $150, I would have to be pried out of my seat before the hour is up.

[lostwonder]

Yes, next session T said that I couldn't have communicated any clearer enough.

[Soccer mom]

Originally Posted by elaygee

A pissed off little kid with access to a car.

I laughed out loud when I read this. My T. and I have determined I'm 7 years old and I have left upset before. Didn't think about my 7 year old self driving.

[struggling2]

yep, twice....ive been with my therapist 4yrs now as ive been healing from childhood trauma. ive went through various stages with her......there was a period where i was very very angry and was projecting all my anger at my mom onto my therapist......about 20minutes into the session i was frustrated and felt misunderstood and was just emotionally feeling so beat down by life and the one person in the world who usually understood me (T) and was a comfort....ya, wasnt feeling it that day....and i stood up said "this doesnt work anymore" and stormed out. we worked through it. my T is amazing. she's allowed me the space to attach, pull away, voice my little girl, get angry.....and we've always talked it out and its been hugely therapeutic each time. It was a super super hard period to go through but I wouldnt be where I am without her having been there with me through it.

[Anne2.0]

I left about 15 minutes into a session where I didn't feel like there was anything he could say or do that would be helpful. I said that I wanted to go. He asked if I wanted to stay and be in silence. I said no, that I could be silent at home by myself. He said, "okay." I was calm about it, not angry or distressed, and I walked out.

He didn't act surprised to see me at my next session. I talked about how helpful it was for me to just walk out, when that was impossible in some other areas of my life. In some ways, you could say it was a waste of money, that I didn't stay for all the minutes of my session. But I don't feel that way. I probably leave 5 or so minutes early on a regular basis, every month or so. I find if I'm digging into something deep, I'm often exhausted after about 40 minutes.

[musinglizzy]

I don't recall when, late Nov/early Dec I asked her if I could leave. She said I was welcome to leave whenever I wanted to, anytime. I don't recall what caused the desire to leave, but I do know I was emotionally upset and just didn't want to talk anymore. She came and sat by me and just changed the subject, and I ended up staying for the remainder of my session. So I haven't actually left, but I've talked about it.

[cka87]

I almost did today because I told my T something I've never actually said out loud, something that is destroying my life and she told me "I really think that's lame, thats a weenie thing to believe" WELL OKAY. I have no follow up appointment.

Originally Posted by cka87

I almost did today because I told my T something I've never actually said out loud, something that is destroying my life and she told me "I really think that's lame, thats a weenie thing to believe" WELL OKAY. I have no follow up appointment.

What a terrible thing for a T to say. And she was playing with her tablet, too? (I just saw your other thread.) Not a good day for your therapist. Is that characteristic of her, or was she just having an off day, do you think?

[junkDNA]

ive walked off from my T a lot but not recently. it was more during a rough period of time for me. sometimes its out of anger, hurt, or fear. sometimes he would call me after i had left. sometimes not. one time he was trying to hospitalize me and i bolted from his office and he followed me to my car and wrote down my tag numbers and said "xxxx, you dont want to do this" and i said "EFF OFF!!!!!!" and sped away. then he called the police

[Anne2.0]

Originally Posted by cka87

I almost did today because I told my T something I've never actually said out loud, something that is destroying my life and she told me "I really think that's lame, thats a weenie thing to believe" WELL OKAY. I have no follow up appointment.

It would depend on the thing for me, and my relationship with T. I do find it startling when he characterizes something without sugar coating it. So if your belief is in fact lame and weenie-ish, then you might take issue with her delivery. If it's not, and she's off, then tell her that. But I think it would be worthwhile to discuss, and to learn the skill of being direct with others about how what they said makes you feel.