[mich0201]

I have been seeing my T for 6 years, and 4 of those years has been twice a week. I have severe trauma from abuse. I am self pay and just this week I had to drop to one session a week. I am absolutely feeling awful. I feel so much anxiety, this feels like a loss. I feel too attached to her and feel bad for feeling this way. I am not used to not seeing her twice a week. Can I talk to T about my feelings? Should I be feeling this much separation anxiety? Is this normal? I have made it through 3 days, 4 more to go until my next session, feels like an eternity. Hope do I cope between sessions? I think T knows I feel this way, will she be weird with ne next session?

Yes, I think this is definitely something you want to talk with your T about. It goes to the heart of allot of important stuff, such as dependency, loss, abandonment, self-reliance, conflicting emotions. This is fertile ground for therapeutic intervention!

Given the number of years you've been seeing your T, plus the number of years you saw her twice per week, I don't think what you're experiencing now is at all surprising. And, personally, I can't imagine why she would be weird about it. I would think she would welcome the opportunity to work with you on something concrete that is happening in the "right-here-&-now".

I will add that the financial circumstances that are forcing you to cut back, may be a blessing in disguise. It is certainly possible for one to become too attached to, & dependent on, a therapist. This may be an opportunity for you to begin to achieve a bit of new independence. My best wishes to you, mich.

[guilloche]

Hi Mich0201,

Welcome to PsychCentral! I completely agree with The Skeezyks. This seems like a pretty normal reaction, and your T will probably welcome the chance to talk with you about it, and help you through it. It IS hard when there's someone we trust, and who helps us cope, and then we suddenly have less time to spend with them. Of course it's hard!

Can you talk to your T about ways to cope? I find writing helps me a lot (it gives me a way to think through whatever is going on in my life, and to capture emotions that otherwise might get forgotten - so I can bring them in to T a few days later). Writing here is really wonderful, because you can get support from others who share your struggles. And, if you're able to pursue any kind of other activities or hobbies - those things can be great ways to distract yourself from missing your T and to connect with more people, though sometimes it's hard to find a group/hobby that you feel safe/comfortable with.

Good luck, and I'm sure your T will understand!

[ThingWithFeathers]

You can absolutely talk to your t about your feelings. In fact, I highly recommend it. I think it's fairly normal for a client to feel the way you do when there's a change to the relationship. Hope you're able to speak with your t about how challenging the change has been.

[SoupDragon]

Can you just take a moment at a time? You know you can manage 1 day not seeing your T as that is what you have been able to do. So can you tell yourself that you managed yesterday and so can manage today?

Yes I would definitely discuss with your T. I have been reading some stuff about mental representations that we carry in our head of people. Maybe when you were going twice per week, these representations were being reinforced so that they didn't fade away. But with a longer break between sessions, these representations do become fader and harder to hang on to which may then explain the feelings of increased anxiety. Sorry may be well off the mark here, but I have been able to relate to the reading I did about this.

Take care - Soup