Shame

I have experienced this in therapy and totally agree. The effect is powerful and perceptible.

Schore introduces a book by relational analyst Bromberg that articulates how this therapeutic relationship can work to create something like a relational affect regulation and indeed make for change. Still doesn't mean is ain't painful.

Which Allan Schore books are you all talking about? I'd be interested in reading his stuff. It definitely feels relevant to what I'm trying to address in therapy and otherwise.

I feel shame in a few ways. Just reading the thread and seeing the word makes me start to feel yucky. I feel shame about my body and normal bodily functions.

This topic is especially relevant because I suddenly feel ashamed of the child part of me who loves to hold T's hand in the session. I got triggered by a painting I did of T and me holding the child's hand. I want the shame to go away.

My T is so careful to accept me and my child parts. I don't know why I feel so much shame right now. The suggestions for reading sound interesting.

He has a lot of stuff. I know his work primarily in articles and through people like Philip Bromberg (analysts and therapists) who use his work. The book that probably speaks the most to this is Affect Regulation and the Repair of the Self.

I'm finding Philip Bromberg's work excellent about this stuff. He has a whole theory that uses the neuroscience too but it is more grounded in how to work with people in really detailed ways. The one I'm reading is introduced by Schore and is called In the Shadow of the Tsunami. He means that an early attachment trauma (the tsunami) passes but the person lives in its shadow and that the work of therapy is to shrink that shadow. He does this relationally, meaning he uses the affect regulating parts of the relationship to accept some of this very difficult and hard to bear material and make it a little safer, bit by bit, until the person lives less in the shadow of the tsunami.