[anothercliché]

Last week I attended the first Therapy session in my life after more than two years of struggling to do so for personal reasons (basically I feel my problems are not worth their time and they have more important people to deal with). So I had an hour long session and it went... fine. she asked some basic questions, I answered them, nothing eventful happened. The problem is that while I never overtly lied to her I couldn't make myself tell the whole truth thus I lied by omission. She got me to say more than I thought I would. I talked about how I have trouble with motivation, feel inferior to those around me, and have no friends to speak of in college.
What I did not say was how crushed I feel every day as failure after failure pile atop me as I continue to not measure up to expectation. I didn't tell her how I cannot accomplish anything because no matter what I do I fall flat on my face. I didn't tell her how angry I get in private over things that don't matter (games, movies, etc.) while in public I completely bend over backwards at the merest hint of conflict even if it does matter. I didn't tell her how unsatisfied I am with my life and how I see no hope for me or my future. I just kept her on the surface, setting up a network of diversions and defenses to keep her away from my fragile interior.
Continuing this of course would make future sessions pointless, so how can I just talk to her more thoroughly? It's not like I'm intentionally trying to waste her time it's just a reflexive action that I do without even noticing until it is already done. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I hope I did not bore you too much.

[musinglizzy]

I feel a lot like you. I have been in therapy for 9 months now, most of that has been 2x per week sessions. It takes time. Especially if you're not used to talking to anyone about these types of things. I've gotten quite comfortable with my T, but even now, 9 months later (and at twice a week, that's a LOT of sessions!) there are still things I have not disclosed to my T. You've only had one session. I'd say you made HUGE progress in that first session and will do just fine. As you get more comfortable with your T, and more comfortable talking about things, it will all come easier. Everything you said is quite normal at this beginning stage.

[ThisWayOut]

I'm glad you were able to go to your first session and that it went well. I think it's pretty common to skim over things at first. The trust and comfort of talking to a t is built over time. We have to feel safe enough to go to the deeper stuff before we can actually do it. Go easy on yourself. T's don't expect the full details right away. They know it takes trust to get to the deeper stuff... if it helps, you can tell your t that there are other things you are not yet comfortable talking about. I actually just acknowledged that with my new t last week. She had asked me to talk about something, and I gave a very general overview. The next session I was able to come back and tell her there was other stuff that was left out, but I wasn't sure how to talk about it yet. She said ok and we moved on.
Hope your t experience continues to go well for you, even if it takes time opening up.

[divine1966]

It took me about 6 months to trust my t enough to share my issues. I had a t before like years ago and never really shared true issues, never did. It was a waste.

I sometimes tell my t that I am afraid to share anything deep and she says it is normal to feel this way

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[ManOfConstantSorrow]

Originally Posted by anothercliché

Last week I attended the first Therapy session in my life after more than two years of struggling to do so for personal reasons (basically I feel my problems are not worth ... kept her on the surface, setting up a network of diversions and defenses to keep her away from my fragile interior.
Continuing this of course would make future sessions pointless, so how can I just talk to her more thoroughly? It's not like I'm intentionally trying to waste her time it's just a reflexive action that I do without even noticing until it is already done. Thank you for your time and consideration, and I hope I did not bore you too much.

I am pretty sure any well trained and experienced T has encountered this time and again - they will know how to help you express difficult things.

[anothercliché]

I'm not trying to imply that she's never dealt with such a thing before, I'm just asking how I can help speed up the process. I am a man of efficiency and I just hate to waste sessions skimming around the problems. On top of that I fear that by doing such I'm making my own benefits less substantial as well for I am not having the root issue dealt with.

[Ellahmae]

I get this and am dealing with it now. I told T I felt like I needed to shove it out and she said no, things will come when they need to come if you force things out it's more likely to do harm than good. As I've heeded this advice things are slowly coming on their own time and it actually feels great to not have to force myself to talk about it. In the 'waiting' time we have worked on other things I noticed I wanted help with that weren't so deep. That's just my experience anyway.

[anothercliché]

I have another session tomorrow. So what you are saying, if I am interpreting it correctly, is that there's nothing I can do to be more helpful and speed this process along?

[ThisWayOut]

There's stuff you can do to speed it up, like writing it down to either give to t, or to read, but it may end up not being what you hoped. I think what people are trying to point out is that there's value to building trust and taking your time revealing things.
I went in to see my current therapist with very specific goals to accomplish in a relatively short time frame. Some of the stuff I tried to force myself to tell her have caused issues for me outside of session (for a number of reasons, but the big one was a lack of trust). Is also made it nearly impossible for me to speak about that stuff in any meaningful way. I can't get past the shame of it to being able to look at the issues. Time is changing that, but it's felt like a huge frustration to have it out there without being able to get out of my own way in order top address it.
Will that necessarily happen for you? No. But it seems to happen to a lot of people. If you feel the need to still plow through it, find a way to communicate it to your t.I would also suggest maybe talking to her about your concerns of not addressing things in a timely manner...
good luck.

[Ellahmae]

Yes. I agree. I would have written the same thing but it's already laid out well by TWO.

Originally Posted by ThisWayOut

There's stuff you can do to speed it up, like writing it down to either give to t, or to read, but it may end up not being what you hoped. I think what people are trying to point out is that there's value to building trust and taking your time revealing things.
I went in to see my current therapist with very specific goals to accomplish in a relatively short time frame. Some of the stuff I tried to force myself to tell her have caused issues for me outside of session (for a number of reasons, but the big one was a lack of trust). Is also made it nearly impossible for me to speak about that stuff in any meaningful way. I can't get past the shame of it to being able to look at the issues. Time is changing that, but it's felt like a huge frustration to have it out there without being able to get out of my own way in order top address it.
Will that necessarily happen for you? No. But it seems to happen to a lot of people. If you feel the need to still plow through it, find a way to communicate it to your t.I would also suggest maybe talking to her about your concerns of not addressing things in a timely manner...
good luck.